Biohacking Pathway
Tina Okoli-AzzalarabWhy I’m Done Being a Human Doormat
Hey everyone, Tina here. Pull up a chair, grab a coffee (or something stronger, I don’t judge), and let’s have a real “heart-to-heart” about something that has been weighing on me lately.
I recently saw a quote that hit me like a cold splash of water to the face. It said: “There’s no reward for sticking by people who treat you badly.”
Read that again. Let it sink in.
The Myth of the “Loyalty Trophy” in Toxic Relationships
For the longest time, I thought there was some secret “Loyalty Trophy” waiting for me at the end of the marathon of being mistreated. I honestly believed that if I just held on long enough, if I was patient enough, kind enough, or “understanding” enough, the person on the other side would eventually have an epiphany. I thought they’d wake up one day, look at me, and say, “Wow, Tina, you’ve been so resilient through my absolute nonsense. Here is a gold medal and my eternal respect.”
The Reality of Staying Too Long
That trophy doesn’t exist. In fact, the only thing you get for “sticking it out” in a toxic situation is a high-octane case of burnout and a very expensive therapy bill.
We’ve all heard the phrase “Ride or Die,” right? It sounds so romantic and edgy in songs. But in reality, if the person you’re “riding” with keeps trying to push you out of the moving car, why are you still in the passenger seat?
Recognizing the Pattern of Emotional Neglect
I used to pride myself on being the friend who was always there. The one who would answer the 3:00 AM “I messed up” text for the tenth time in a row. But I started noticing a pattern: my “loyalty” was being treated like a subscription service that they didn’t have to pay for. I was giving 100% of my energy to people who wouldn’t even give me 10% of their respect. I was basically a human sponge, soaking up everyone else’s bad moods, insults, and neglect, thinking I was being “strong.”
Newsflash to past-Tina: That’s not being strong. That’s being a doormat with a pulse.
Why We Struggle with Setting Boundaries
I’ve been doing some soul-searching (it’s messy in there, don’t recommend it unless necessary), and I realized we stay for a few reasons:
There Is No Reward for Suffering
But here’s the thing I’ve finally learned: Walking away isn’t mean. It’s a survival tactic.
Let’s Look at the Math
If you stay with someone who treats you like an afterthought, what do you actually gain?
- Do you get more energy? No, you’re exhausted.
- Do you get more confidence? No, your self-esteem is currently in the basement.
- Do you get a “Good Person” certificate? No, you just get more of the same bad treatment because you’ve taught them that you’ll tolerate it.
The “reward” for sticking by someone who treats you badly is simply… more bad treatment. It’s a closed loop. The only way to win the game is to stop playing.
Choosing Self-Worth and Moving Forward
So, I’m officially resigning from the “Sticking By People Who Treat Me Like Trash” committee. I’ve handed in my badge and cleared out my locker.
From now on, my loyalty is a premium product. It’s reserved for the people who show up, who respect my boundaries, and who don’t make me feel like I have to audition for a spot in their life every single day.
If you’re reading this and you’re currently “sticking it out” with someone who makes you feel small, consider this your permission slip to leave. There is no prize for suffering. The real reward is the peace of mind you find when you finally decide that you are worth sticking up for.
Anyway, that’s my rant for the day. I feel ten pounds lighter just saying it. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go enjoy some peace and quiet—and maybe a slice of cake, because that’s a reward I actually enjoy.
#BurnoutRecovery #emotionalWellBeing #mentalHealth #personalGrowth #relationshipAdvice #selfCare #SelfWorth #settingBoundaries #toxicRelationships #walkingAway
Buddhistdoor Global (BDG)
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