The Shimmering SpectrumTo the extent we have a clearly defined antagonist, it would be an anthropomorphization of the abuse we’ve suffered at the hands/paws/wings of some people we’re glad to no longer be in touch with. This typically means two specific people, whom we will only identify as a dragon and a bird.
Under the Dragon
The dragon’s goal would have been my complete submission and subjugation. He’d want me to be his unquestioning slave, thinking only of his pleasure, with all of my lusts and desires trained away. He specifically said my arousal and pleasure were turn-offs for him; any scenario should involve his pleasure and his alone. To call his actions rape would be a misnomer, in his opinion: I’d be an object incapable of granting or withholding consent, no different than a sex sleeve.
Once that was achieved, we could envision one of two outcomes.
Almost Normal
I continue to work a normal job, with the expectation that I pay for everything he wants and needs, even if it’s to my detriment. I wouldn’t have disposable income of my own; it would be his to spend as he sees fit. I wouldn’t be allowed to have any sexual interactions with anyone else; I might not even be allowed much contact with other people. My only reward would be the honor (as he’d put it) of continuing to be abused by him, as opposed to being simply tossed aside and left to rot. After all, I’d be his
Permanently Enslaved
I give up any hint of a life at all beyond being his 24/7 slave. This would certainly not be a healthy BDSM relationship; this would likely amount to some kind of torture. Food and drink would be permitted only if he felt like it, and he would not be fair about what I’d have to do to earn sustenance. There’s a chance he’d try to have me amputated, or at least near-permanently in bondage that rendered my arms and legs useless, so that I’d be a better fuck pillow for him.
Contact with other people would be lost entirely; I’d be nothing more than an object and treated accordingly. And he’d insist he deserves such a slave by virtue of being a dragon, and that knowing my place beneath him, suffering whatever Sadistic whims he has, is something I should be thankful for.
Under the Bird
The bird is a much more insidious and subtle creature. They were crafty, both granting and denying pleasure to condition my behavior. They wanted an unhealthy degree of co-dependency; we were expected to be in contact with them almost every waking hour unless they were busy with something else. Even when I was at a convention they weren’t at, it was very clear they were thinking about what I’d do or get for them. Gaslighting was common; they’d often ask “Is it?” even over relatively obvious things, as if we shouldn’t trust our own senses and, instead, defer to their perception.
To the extent we can articulate their goal, it seemed to be this: To have us think of them more than we think of ourselves. We wouldn’t have been a slave; we simply would have been less than them in a way that ensured our perpetual dependency.
The ongoing control would have, likewise, been subtle. We’d be encouraged to spend more time with their friends and less time with ours. Their lack of interest our hobbies would have made us quit certain things in favor of doing what they enjoy instead. In case of disagreement, we’d be expected to defer to them even when it conflicted with our own perception or emotion. Expressing a need they approved of would be fulfilled. Expressing needs they disapproved of would be scorned or ignored. Expressing unhappiness with them, in any way, would have led to personal attacks intended to make us believe we were wrong to have those thoughts at all.
Frighteningly, we’d probably believe we were happy about that result, too.
#WordWeavers #Abuse #Amputation #Toxic #Abusive #AbusiveRelationships #ToxicRelationships
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