If your negative thought is genuinely just describing how things are, with no interpretation on the facts — that's not something you need to talk yourself out of. But if it's the way you're thinking about something, there might be some flexibility in that. 1/2

#ActuallyAutistic #Autistic #AuDHD #BurnoutRecovery #Interoception

At times in my life when the external requirements on me have conflicted with my internal needs or reality, the dissonance between those two has proved immense, painful, energy draining, and lonely. 1/2

#AutisticBurnout #BurnoutRecovery #Burnout #ActuallyAutistic #AutisticMasking

Here's a hard truth. Even when things were at their hardest — I was surviving. I was making it.

Not always well. Not in any way I liked. But I was doing it.

Which meant I could do it. Which meant I could keep doing it. 1/2

#AutisticBurnout #BurnoutRecovery #Burnout #ActuallyAutistic #AuDHD #Neurodiversity

A common thing when you start exploring sensory stuff is that you find all this stuff that you’ve been shutting out, you’ve been working to dissociate from, to ignore, to numb, or to cancel out in various ways.

And it just feels like everything is just more annoying rather than helping. 1/3

#ActuallyAutistic #BurnoutRecovery #Sensory #Interoception

Pushing past your capacity doesn't make you more productive.
It makes you burned out. And then you can't work at all. 1/3

#AutisticBurnout #BurnoutRecovery #Burnout #ActuallyAutistic #AuDHD

Now that I have no more #school assignments, I'm getting back into my #SpecialInterests. I'm going to go to the #volunteer night at my local #CommunityGarden soon. I'm #writing more of my #fantasy #novel. And I'm watching an #astrobiology #lecture series.

#ActuallyAutistic #BurnoutRecovery

Why I’m Done Being a Human Doormat

Hey everyone, Tina here. Pull up a chair, grab a coffee (or something stronger, I don’t judge), and let’s have a real “heart-to-heart” about something that has been weighing on me lately.

I recently saw a quote that hit me like a cold splash of water to the face. It said: “There’s no reward for sticking by people who treat you badly.”

Read that again. Let it sink in.

The Myth of the “Loyalty Trophy” in Toxic Relationships

For the longest time, I thought there was some secret “Loyalty Trophy” waiting for me at the end of the marathon of being mistreated. I honestly believed that if I just held on long enough, if I was patient enough, kind enough, or “understanding” enough, the person on the other side would eventually have an epiphany. I thought they’d wake up one day, look at me, and say, “Wow, Tina, you’ve been so resilient through my absolute nonsense. Here is a gold medal and my eternal respect.”

The Reality of Staying Too Long

That trophy doesn’t exist. In fact, the only thing you get for “sticking it out” in a toxic situation is a high-octane case of burnout and a very expensive therapy bill.

We’ve all heard the phrase “Ride or Die,” right? It sounds so romantic and edgy in songs. But in reality, if the person you’re “riding” with keeps trying to push you out of the moving car, why are you still in the passenger seat?

Recognizing the Pattern of Emotional Neglect

I used to pride myself on being the friend who was always there. The one who would answer the 3:00 AM “I messed up” text for the tenth time in a row. But I started noticing a pattern: my “loyalty” was being treated like a subscription service that they didn’t have to pay for. I was giving 100% of my energy to people who wouldn’t even give me 10% of their respect. I was basically a human sponge, soaking up everyone else’s bad moods, insults, and neglect, thinking I was being “strong.”

Newsflash to past-Tina: That’s not being strong. That’s being a doormat with a pulse.

Why We Struggle with Setting Boundaries

I’ve been doing some soul-searching (it’s messy in there, don’t recommend it unless necessary), and I realized we stay for a few reasons:

There Is No Reward for Suffering

But here’s the thing I’ve finally learned: Walking away isn’t mean. It’s a survival tactic.

Let’s Look at the Math

If you stay with someone who treats you like an afterthought, what do you actually gain?

• Do you get more energy? No, you’re exhausted.
• Do you get more confidence? No, your self-esteem is currently in the basement.
• Do you get a “Good Person” certificate? No, you just get more of the same bad treatment because you’ve taught them that you’ll tolerate it.

The “reward” for sticking by someone who treats you badly is simply… more bad treatment. It’s a closed loop. The only way to win the game is to stop playing.

Choosing Self-Worth and Moving Forward

So, I’m officially resigning from the “Sticking By People Who Treat Me Like Trash” committee. I’ve handed in my badge and cleared out my locker.

From now on, my loyalty is a premium product. It’s reserved for the people who show up, who respect my boundaries, and who don’t make me feel like I have to audition for a spot in their life every single day.

If you’re reading this and you’re currently “sticking it out” with someone who makes you feel small, consider this your permission slip to leave. There is no prize for suffering. The real reward is the peace of mind you find when you finally decide that you are worth sticking up for.

Anyway, that’s my rant for the day. I feel ten pounds lighter just saying it. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go enjoy some peace and quiet—and maybe a slice of cake, because that’s a reward I actually enjoy.

When emotions come up, it can help to ask yourself what you're noticing in your body right then. That starts connecting "hey, there's an emotional experience here" with the physical sensations connected to it. 1/2

#ActuallyAutistic #BurnoutRecovery #Sensory #Interoception