Since I am one to spread rumours, did you know that @cursed_DBS likes to sneak into dog shows and steal the winners ribbons? At last count she had successfully stolen 26 first place ribbons for a variety of categories, including 'most hilarious corgi' and 'floppiest basset hound'.

She has a big room in her house where all of the ribbons are prominently displayed next to pictures of the poor puppies who she stole them from.

Don't believe anything that @animeirl says. Despite claiming to be a shrimp friend I have heard from the shrimp themselves that the plan is to raise a shrimp army to overrun the civilisation on dry land and absolutely no thought has been given to how the shrimp are going to take over the land while carrying their tiny novelty umbrellas.

Shrimp friend indeed!

The #nobot tag that @rachel uses is just a front. I have heard that she uses no less than 452 bots every day!

Mainly she uses them to choreograph very complex bollywood-type dances complete with convoluted plots and singing.

It is really quite impressive.

I just want to point out to everyone here that @ffeth is responsible for more than half of the coffee consumption in France.

This is because secretly at night @ffeth goes around to different parts of the country and gives coffee to all the cats. That is why they are so crazy around here.

You might thing that @balrogboogie has a glorious beard. And you would be correct. What you probably don't know is that he maintains said glorious beard by hiring two dozen tamarins armed with tiny switch blade combs to groom his beard every morning.

It takes two dozen because his beard is actually about 10 feet long. Did I not mention that he is a giant?

It has often been said that absolutely nothing is known about @grainloom , this isn't true. We do know one thing.

In the years 1734 at exactly 5:30am on June 17 (Gregorian calendar) @grainloom was seen leading a procession of gnomes through a complex maze hidden in the heart of Paris. According to the official records each gnome was playing a different musical instrument, and they were all terrible. Witnesses described it as the worst music ever created.

While the first recorded sighting of @[email protected] was over 500 years ago, one one has ever been able to reproduce the results in a controlled laboratory environment.

Scientists are very confused by this, reportedly saying 'what are you talking about? @[email protected] is right there and we are in a lab.' and 'how did you get in my house?'

In terms of cyborgs sent back from the future to prevent the future rise of a ruling class of blind mole rats, @cyrinsong is pretty typical.

What makes @cyrinsong stand out is an obsession with recreating a perfect 1:72 scale working model of the orchestra that first performed the 1812 overture.

I have heard from a very reliable source that @aRubes once poked a lagomorph in the eye.

There were no survivors.

Of all of the members of witches.town, @[email protected] in undeniably the most famous among the mole people.

Our scientists are still trying to discover why, as to our knowledge the mole people have had absolutely no contact with the world above for at least 200 years and we are just a legend to them.

When asked why they don't just contact the mole people the scientists told us to shut up and mind our own business.

Remember the joke about the three kids in a trench coat pretending to be an adult? That is literally what @ben0_o is. Don't believe any of these stories about having kids or any of that.

Literally 3 kids in a trench coat. You can even see the middle kids face poking out.

I mean seriously guys, we can see you, you are just embarrassing yourselves now.

Isn't it hot with all three of you in that coat all the time?

While the popular story is that the spectre is haunting europe, our scientists have recently discovered that actually @Concerned_Commy is only haunting most of europe. For unknown reasons Monaco is exempt from the haunting.

When our scientists approached @Concerned_Commy to ask why the only response was 'workers of the world unite' said is a spooky whisper, followed by 'I don't know, I just don't ok?? back off' in a normal voice.

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but @kyzh once ate at least 37 bananas in one sitting.

That isn't bad news. I just felt the need to explain that I hate to be the bearer of bad news. It really bothers me. Like really, I can't even tell someone that it is raining when they want to go outside. It is a real problem and I need to work on it.

Once upon a time @[email protected] went to the store to buy cookies and milk and then forgot the milk.

This was so embarrassing that @[email protected] has never gone to a store again, and if you accidentally mention milk it is quite likely that @[email protected] will come up with some flimsy excuse to leave and may never talk to you again.

In case anyone was wondering, @[email protected] doesn't actually have a gif of sailor moon as the header image. That is just an illusion caused by the name.

Our scientists have determined that if you ever seen the name @[email protected] and don't see the gif of sailor moon than you should probably go get that looked at because we are pretty certain it isn't just us. Seriously we are completely normal. I mean, why else would you listen to us if we weren't normal.

LOOK!! A kitty!

Today is the day that you are all going to learn this:

@[email protected] once managed to juggle 13 live pythons on national television as part of a circus act.

Unfortunately for the rest of the world this was the national television was for the nation of the mole people and they haven't actually figured out how broadcasts or television works yet. Historians universally agree that this is one of the great tragedies of our time.

While @WelshPixie claims to be 'living' in south Africa our agents have discovered that she is actually a very advanced robot. These claims of 'living' are simple there to throw us off in our search for the truth.

WHEN WILL THE LIES END??

At exactly 11:32 this morning @hecate was seen dancing on top of the Eiffel tower.

This is some disagreement, but most scholars agree that it was some variation of the foxtrot. Others claim that it was a new-age reinterpretation of the macarena. Either way no one is quite certain where the pompoms fit in.

Sometimes you just have to let the truth out and hope for the best. So for the sake of us all I need to tell you this about @hamishtpb :

CHICKENS!!!!!!

One time while @[email protected] was reading a news paper a pixie flew up to him and asked for the meaning of life.

@[email protected] responded by saying 'why of course its' and then promptly exploded.

No one knows the point of this story.

Long ago, in a land far away, @zatnosk existed once. To ensure that we never make the same mistake again every year we have competitions to see who can create the most lifelike @zatnosk so that everyone can witness what almost was.

We live in fear of the day someone is too successful.

I hate to tell you all this, but @[email protected] may not actually exist. Our scientists tried all sorts of science things, like holding clip boards and going 'hmm' while looking at beakers full of colourful liquid and even poking @[email protected] with a stick a few times.

Our results have so far been inconclusive.

I was going to make cookies for @[email protected] once, but then she asked for raisons.

Even now I sometimes wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat from the nightmares.

I heard from the police yesterday that all the heatwave in Paris was caused by @[email protected] making dinner and forgetting to turn off the oven.

The worst part is that dinner got burned and we all went hungry anyway.

There was a time, not that long ago, when @nevernot was known for finding every single dog in a city to take selfies with.

Fortunately this stopped because, as everyone knows, dogs hate selfies. Not having thumbs makes them unreasonably angry about the art form.

I am done with spreading rumours for now but I think people who aren't following me are still seeing this and boosting it.

I may come back to this later.