I sincerely wish I wasn't having to do this over and over and over again.

My partner has a medical appointment Tuesday which necessitated me dropping my shift that day to ensure I can take him, which in turn means we won't have funds for Wednesday's motel stay.

I requested dispersal of my entire sick and vacation leave to try and get us a little further ahead, but I'm not sure if I did it in time for this pay period which means I might not see it for a few weeks (if they ever getting around to approving it anyway).

I'm hoping to use that money to apply for another apartment and hopefully get out of the damned motel stay game altogether.

I'm also applying to other, better paying #retail jobs -- mainly because I lack the skills or qualifications for much else -- and I'm hoping against hope for luck my previous post groveling for #internship work. My intention is to find something better and transition my current employment to part time status working around the other job.

My partner has begun applying to jobs again as well, and I am insanely proud of him for doing that. His #CPSTD has made him a total recluse for the past two years and I've striven very hard to insulate him from being shamed and pressured to go back to work before he is ready because I know first-hand how difficult and embarrassing that can be when your brain refuses to cooperate, and I was only dealing with #depression and #BPD.

Nevertheless, our attempts for better income aren't likely to bear fruit in the immediate future, therefore I am rattling my digital soup can once more because I am still yet unable to sufficiently provide for my family.

Please forgive me for how much burden we continue to place on the #Fediverse community. You've all been so incredibly amazing and supportive and we have been so.. blessed (for lack of a better word).

I hope everyone can bear with us a little bit longer. I swear I'm trying my hardest to get us stable again.

If you're willing AND able, please boost and if possible donate. If you can't donate, *do NOT feel guilty* for being in the same boat as us. Your feelings about it are valid but rest assured you needn't feel bad.

Venmo: https://venmo.com/thegizmotwins
Cashapp: https://cash.app/$thegizmotwins
PP: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/gizmo1982
GFM: https://gofund.me/12171be3

(Dammit, sorry for the repost. I always forget to tag @mutualaid)

Hello Everyone.

If I were single and by myself, I wouldn't even be bothering to panhandle anymore. Believe it or not, being an "online grifter" isn't as glorious as they make it out to be. Typing this #begpost today, especially after everything that's happened in the past few weeks, makes my skin crawl.

The guilt is sometimes overwhelming, but the worst part is noticing the drop in interaction I'm getting from *anything* I'm posting as people finally get fed up and mute me.

If I were by myself, I would've given up by now and resigned myself to living in my car.

But I'm not alone.

I have a fragile partner struggling valiantly to survive despite his #CPSTD and a suite of other #MentalIllness symptoms that makes him very vulnerable. And we have a severely co-dependent, overweight Border Collie (who likely also has PTSD). They are extraordinarily bonded and it would devastate my partner to get rid of him.

Regrettably, I only make $16 per hour currently which isn't a livable wage in our area anymore. I'm too unstable and uneducated to expect or to qualify for anything better.

So I must summon all the effort I have within me despite the crushing guilt of burning up everyone else's funds, and beg for even more.

Please forgive me everyone, but for the thousandth time I must plead for #MutualAid support. I've backed us into a corner and we're out of groceries, and the icing on this shit cake is I have two days off in a row tomorrow and Tuesday and no way to pay for it.

The funds from the $350 money order for the apartment application that was laughably denied will be tied up for at least another week (at least I think that's what the woman at the counter said).

We're currently in the cheapest accommodations we could find that wasn't frequently referred to as a "trap house" in the online reviews. (Again, if I were alone I would probably just join them but I don't think it's the most ideal place for my partner and his crippling CPSTD). The room does hover around 80 degrees (~26 celsius) 24/7, and it's roughly a 40-mile round-trip commute but it's relatively clean and safe. If we pay weekly, it isn't substantially more than we would've been paying the for the apartment we wanted anyway.

Unfortunately we're out of groceries again. We used most of a grocery gift card we were given to buy a decent supply of dog food for the next week or two, and now my partner and I are tired and hangry.

We don't have the spoons right now to jump through all the hurdles of public assistance and charity, so I must once again plead with strangers on the internet for help.

I'm sorry everyone. I wish I could get my shit together.

If you're willing AND able, please boost and if possible donate. If you can't donate, *do NOT feel guilty* for being in the same boat as us. Your feelings about it are valid but rest assured you needn't feel bad.

Venmo: https://venmo.com/thegizmotwins
Cashapp: https://cash.app/$thegizmotwins
PP: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/gizmo1982
GFM: https://gofund.me/12171be3

What will happen if I get another denial. Can I appeal after denial by a law judge? If not, I'd be ineligible for #Medicaid & #EBT. I've been finding myself struggling to find self-worth. Thank you @SabiLewSounds for being there, through it all! ♥️ I love you!!

https://linktr.ee/toadlyturtle

#mentalhealth #disability #disabled #ssdi #poverty #cpstd #traumasurvivor #neurodivergent #mutualaid

"10 year Boy with Down Syndrome Assaulted by Bus Driver - Abuse of Students with Invisible Disabilities by Educators"

⚠️ CW - Stories on mistreatment and abuse of students with invisible disabilities in schools across the country. May be disturbing to some.

Yesterday, a bus driver for the Upper Darby school district in Pennsylvania, was charged with assault, unlawful restraint, false imprisonment, and endangering the welfare of a child.

Juliet Pratt was captured on surveillance cameras, duct taping the a student with Downs Syndrome around the ankles and chest to restrain him. The footage also show the child, who was already in a safety harness, caused no disturbance and remained in his seat. Regardless,  nothing warrants this kind of abusive behavior to people with invisible disabilities, especially by someone involved in child education. The March 8th incident was not the only. The bus driver admitted doing this appalling act to the child, at least one other time. Pratt cut the tape restraints with a seat belt cutter to free the boy upon arrival at the school.

There seems to be no mention of charges related to disability protectections in news reports. Has she done this to others? Would she have done this if the child did not have a disability? If Ms. Pratt singled the child out for this treatment because of any disability related reason, (ie - thinking she could get away with it because of the boy's DS), authorities may want to consider this an ableist hate crime.

Unfortunately, this problem is not uncommon. In some places, the techniques used are legal, bringing harm to many students with invisible disabilities. In Virginia, a 10 year old autistic boy, had the "bones in his hand and foot crushed" by an educator. The injuries were caused by a staff member who was isolating and confining the child, in what was called the "scream room".

Many reports of similar abuses have surfaced in Connecticut schools as well. In one case, a second grader with ADHD was held down, and locked in confinement after a manifestation of symptoms. Aside from the mental and emotional wounds caused, just as in many other cases, the child suffered physically injury. According to the story linked below, students have been restrained and isolated "thousands of times causing dozens of injuries" in Connecticut schools. This hardly sounds like accommodation and community intergration.

Then, there's Xavier Hernandez, who died as a result if being held down and restained by multiple staff members at "Boulevard Heights" school for "students with disabilities" in Texas.

These are the people entrusted with the job of shaping young minds? What lesson does this type of behavior teach other students about interacting with people with invisible disabilities; that they should be restrained, isolated and subjected to physical and mental damage? Considering these, and many other such acts, it seems many educators could use a lesson on understanding and accommodation of persons with invisible disabilities.

© OutOfExile_IDR - Invisible Disability Rights

PA Bus Driver:
https://www.phillyvoice.com/school-bus-driver-duct-tape-upper-darby-student-delaware-county/

https://www.nbcphiladelphia.com/news/local/bus-driver-accused-of-duct-taping-10-year-old-boy-on-bus/3575865/

Boy with autism in Virginia:
https://www.propublica.org/article/schools-restraints-seclusions

Girl with ADHD and other abuse in Connecticut:
https://www.ctinsider.com/news/article/connecticut-schools-restraint-seclusion-injuries-17474991.php

Xavier Hernandez death from a disability standpoint:
https://neuroclastic.com/xavier-hernandez-fort-worth-autism-restraint-death/#content

Hernandez - Death by medication and restraint:
https://www.star-telegram.com/news/local/crossroads-lab/article253421369.html

Image courtesy of: https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/young-disabled-students-shackled-misbehaving-lawsuit-claims-n403421

#Education #ActuallyAutistic #ADHA #PTSD #CPSTD #ChildEducation #abuse #advocacy #disability #InvisibleDisability #TBI #InvisibleDisabilityRights #DownSyndrome #BrainInjury #EndAbleism #AbleistHateCrime #accommodation #CommunityIntergration #stigmatude #TearDownTheWall
#DOE #action #DepartmentOfEducation

@actuallyautistic @disabilityjustice @disability

Counsellor this week told me that part of healing is connecting with what we really think, feel and believe. Somehow this space has been helping with the "believe" part of that. Thanks to so many here for that.

My next assignment is an independent assignment though: Decide on a favourite kind of ice cream. Strange that that seems scary.

#healing #cpstd #smallstories