Hi everyone, it's me again. I'm forcing myself to write this by promising myself an entire gummy once I'm done.

I've only been taking half or a quarter at a time, however edibles have never been effective for me unless taken in large quantities (say three or four brownies in one sitting).

But I need a high-value treat to motivate me enough to write this *before* we're two days away from our apartment rent deadline. I know it isn't *much* better than that, but I've been struggling mightily the past few days to resist the siren call of procrastination, as opposed to drafting this personal PBS fund drive.

So.. here we are.

Since we've been doing this for.. well, a couple of years now I know that self-deprecation in begposts seem to have a *negative* effect on donations.

You might be surprised just how much more fucking difficult that is said than done.

Moving on, we've got a couple of big things going on. Rent is probably the top priority, but I've also got to get our 20yo car looked at and hopefully fixed so that it can pass emissions, so my partner can commute to work safely. By the end of the month.

I have no idea how much that would ultimately run; Autozone reported it being the canister purge valve, but our mechanic suggested it could be something more complicated. We're looking at $170 just for the diagnosis.

I've also got to get some work-related items, such as a new safety vest (since I'm allergic to freaking everything so I can't share with my fellow [perfume-dousing] associates), a neck fan because I run super hot all year round, and shirts that are compliant with the upcoming dress code change.

I'm also thinking of getting some safety gear for riding my child scooter to and from the bus stop for work since I fell a third time, fifty feet from the entrance to my work, keeping in tradition with the last two falls being roughly within the final 2% of my commute.

Also my partner has had to cut his hours back at work a little because it was starting to trigger his PTSD. And my hours continue to fluctuate wildly (18, 33, 28, 23 hours the previous and next few weeks, respectively).

So.. I realize this comes on the heels of our last fundraiser a few weeks ago, and the amount is.. staggering. But I'm hoping it's a gross overestimation; because our finances are in a constant state of chaos (we're still struggling to break the habit of daily pay advances, but if there's no food in the fridge or gas in the car..), I can't be completely certain. I've got to get all of our paperwork and finances organized. It's embarrassing.

Besides.. I have no clue what we're ultimately looking at for the car. I'm hoping it's a relatively simple, and hence cheaper fix.

Anyway.. dammit, it is really hard to not be apologetic with this. I know it is a huge ask. Unfortunately I think that's all I can say that isn't overly self-critical.

I appreciate everyone's patience, donations, boosts, love, and support. We couldn't make it without you, we owe it all to you and it is my sincere hope that we can get on top of things soon so we no longer need to do this.

If you're willing AND able, please boost and if possible donate. If you can't donate, *do NOT feel guilty* for being in the same boat as us. Your feelings about it are valid but rest assured you needn't feel bad.

Venmo: https://venmo.com/thegizmotwins
Cashapp: https://cash.app/$thegizmotwins
PP: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/gizmo1982
GFM: https://gofund.me/12171be3

#Solidarity #BPD #PTSD #Poverty #MentalIllness @mutualaid

The Challenges of Living with Mental Illness: Surviving your bad days and managing bad feelings and thoughts.

#mentalillness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #therapy #selfcare #depressionawareness #depressionsupport #mentalhealthmatters #mentalhealthsupport #ymhc

The importance of community

https://subspacewagon.systems/the-importance-of-community/

___
https://www.selections.directory
https://www.poet.garden
https://www.subspacewagon.io
https://www.patience.earth
___

@poetry
@writingcommunity

#Poetry #PoemADay #PoetryCommunity #Poem #TodaysPoem #WritingCommunity #literature #Songs #humanities #amwriting #CreativeWriting #WritersOfMastodon #writing #art #SmallWeb #SupportHumanArtists #Indie #mentalHealth #mentalIllness #Disability #disabled

It just occurred to me, I feel like "Amplified Emotion Disorder" might be an effective alternative term for what we refer to as Borderline Personality Disorder.

Because holy fuck do those emotions get amplified.

#BPD #MentalIllness

Linkage Study, #PalliativeCare, #Denmark

Patients with severe #MentalIllness died younger and more often from non-cancer conditions; and those with active psychiatric treatment had longer waiting time from referral to first palliative care contact
https://orca.cardiff.ac.uk/id/eprint/186458/

#Multimorbidity #ParityOfEsteem

Constitutional Lawyer Robert Barnes and Larry C. Johnson: “They All Know Trump is Losing It!”

Posted by Jerry Alatalo | April 18, 2026

[Editor’s note: Confabulation is a memory error consisting of the production of fabricated, distorted, or misinterpreted memories about oneself or the world. It is generally associated with certain types of brain damage or a specific subset of dementias. While still an area of ongoing research, the basal forebrain is implicated in the phenomenon of confabulation. People who confabulate present with incorrect memories ranging from subtle inaccuracies to surreal fabrications, and may include confusion or distortion in the temporal framing of memories… It is worth noting that, among the many relevant topics covered and disturbing facts revealed by Mr. Barnes and Mr. Johnson, Barnes shares that Donald Trump talks to controversial far-right conservative commentator Sean Hannity every night. Please share this important, timely discussion between Robert Barnes and Larry Johnson far and wide. Feel free to share your thoughts and/or responses in the comments. Thank you very much. Peace.]

*

Description: The more Trump’s show is running, the more his closest allies seem to be walking on eggshells. 100% narcissism, pure madness and hot temper — is anyone besides JD Vance even trying to bring Trump back to reality? In this episode ex-CIA analyst Larry Johnson and constitutional lawyer Robert Barnes are diving deep into serious issue – will Donald Trump still be president in a year?

https://youtu.be/hqY9uztGxKI?si=GvkNG_mIBAnq4lBz

I remember feeling kind of smug when the COVID lockdowns started happening because I've led a very solitary life, even in childhood. It really wasn't that much of a change.

I can recall ten years or so when I was laid off from my longest-held job position and I was coming to terms with it all drawing to a close. I sometimes wouldn't step foot out of our home for days at a time.

So years after that, when the pandemic hit shortly after I began seeing my partner, we hunkered down and just rolled with it.

The problem now is all those people I looked at judgmentally for going into hysterics because they weren't able to get their hair cut or go out clubbing during a deadly pandemic, have adjusted back to a culture of interacting with other people, and we.. haven't.

It doesn't help that we're perpetually broke, only avoiding homelessness thanks to the incredible generosity of our friends here.

It's difficult to justify painting the town red when your bank account is only in the black thanks to charity.

I think (at least in my case) it's primarily due to not having a reasonable baseline with which to return.

Even before the pandemic, I've lived next door to neighbors for literally *years* without conversing beyond "hello" or "excuse me" if we happen to be passing.

In more than six years, my partner have had guests over a total of 2 (two) times, during a total duration of roughly 4 (four) hours.

We never go anywhere.

We never do anything.

I'm not exaggerating.

I don't think this is just typical introversion. We live within an hours' drive of the vast majority of both our families, but we see them maybe twice a year.

We're not religious (I'm basically full-blown atheist) so church-going is not a plausible option. I've visited UU services a handful of times many years ago, but I could never feel very passionate about it.

Anyway.. I want to become more socialized, but I'm not sure I remember how, because I'm not sure I ever really learned.

It's like we both need to be trained on how to reintegrate into society, and to break a few of our hermit-tendencies.

#MentalHealth #Isolation #MentalIllness #Depression