A warm weekend in October just before family court

It feels tense around sensitive days like the upcoming hearing. As your mum limits interactions, there are so many things that need to be sorted out but it’s hard to resolve anything, however basic, like collecting your high chair or carseat.

The weather forecast said it would be a surprisingly warm weekend, basically like summer. I wanted to do something nice with you like a picnic but your mum refuses to meet in the centre so it will be tricky within our time.

The main person who’s worse off because of your mum’s hostilities is you. There’s no reasonable perspective to explain why she should be so difficult to cooperate on little plans for the day.

Our sunny day

I tried to make the best of the day and planned to get to Zizzi’s for lunch which gave us enough time to look at a few shops and explore for a bit.

One of the estates in the area was open to the public so we had the chance to check out the grounds. The pretty gardens and enclosed green was perfect for a running monkey like you!

You’re becoming more independent, some of our day involved you walking slowly with your little legs. It’s going to be lovely when you’re older and we can go on treks and adventures. I’m sure you’ll be leaving me behind!

The day was straightforward. There’s limited room for planning more exciting things and you’re often unwell in some way or another so calm days seem best.

Our moo-full afternoon

After lunch, as usual, I take you for a stroll in your buggy where you promptly fall asleep. I walk with the aim of having some background momentum so you sleep better but sometimes it’s tiring to be honest. Today’s heat and busyness wasn’t great for walking around but the most important thing is you slept well.

While you were snoozing, I had walked up to the edge of the centre until I saw a few cows next to the canal. It was unusual and not something I’m used to seeing back at home in the Big City! I waited nearby expecting you to be waking up around this time and in perfect sync you shuffled awake with a herd of beautiful brown cows in your view.

At this point I had to prepare for getting back. 40 minutes could easily become more if you need something along the way.

It’s starting to feel like we really only have lunch. It’s hard to make happy memories when most of our time together is in a restaurant or just walking to and from the station.

In the future, let’s go for lunch and make it really special. Sunday lunches have been our time since you were a baby. It was forced on us but let’s embrace it and make it the special daddy daughter time it should be.

Court on Thursday

My mind is a blank as it has been so often in the last year. It’s impossible to ignore but too painful and stressful to allow to surface. I don’t know what to think about Thursday. Your mum has done everything possible to stop us from having a relationship and take you from me.

Impossible choices

When your mum took you I had the impossible choice of refusing and the huge problems that would’ve caused short term, or do as I did and work through the court process knowing that your mum had already planned out that the move would become the status quo and a family court wouldn’t force her to move.

I did what I thought would cause you the least distress but sometimes I wonder if it would have been better for me to take the alternative option which would have kept us together for the years ahead. This is the dilemma I will always live with.

Back in River Town in a few days

I’ll be back in River Town for 9am on Thursday to be told why I can’t have you overnight. Why I can’t give you a kiss goodnight. I’ll be told why you can’t go on holiday with me. You’ll be 3 years old and still unaccustomed to being with me overnight if I let your mum’s plans go ahead. I may have no option.

The system doesn’t care about the bond between a dad and daughter.

#apart #dad #dadLife #daddyDaughterTime #daughter #dayOut #family #familyCourt #fatherSRights #fatherhood #heartbreak #parentalAlienation #parenting #sunnyDay #timeTogether #toddler #toddlerLife #withMyGirl

I’ve taken the 1st steps in seeking legal action against my mother and my ex.

When I was about 9 (so around 1984) my mother started ‘checking for worms’ which involved a very invasive investigation of my vagina, about once a week.

There were atleast 3 of her boyfriends and 2 babysitters who sexually assaulted me and my younger sisters. That’s not a coincidence.

When I was 19 I was in a physically and sexually abusive relationship with a man who was frankly a psychopath. My mother took his side and they conspired to take my 2 daughters away to live with him.

Those daughters are now 32 and 29. My eldest and I have a wonderful relationship now but I missed her most important years. My other daughter barely acknowledges me and I feel that loss every day.

It’s time my mother and my ex paid.

#ParentalAlienation #ChilhoodAbuse

Rechtsextreme #Netzwerke nutzen das #Familienrecht aus, um Kinder von Elternteilen zu entfremden.

#ParentalAlienation Syndrome:

"Dabei ist das angebliche Syndrom #unwissenschaftlich &#frauenfeindlich
Einige Länder haben es als Argument in Sorgerechtsverfahren bereits verboten. In anderen europäischen Ländern ist es dagegen auf dem Vormarsch. Auch in #Deutschland." berichtet @DasWissen

https://www.swr.de/swrkultur/doku-und-feature/die-entfremdungs-luege-wie-rechte-netzwerke-das-familienrecht-unterwandern-feature-2025-03-14-100.html

#rechtsextremismus #noafd #sorgerecht #coaching #esoterik

Today, we celebrate dads—present, loving, and strong.

But we also remember those who are no longer with us...

To the dads who were pushed out, worn down, or alienated from their children—we see you. We honor your love. We speak your name.

Your story matters.

🕯️This Father’s Day, we remember with love. We stand for truth. And we vow to do better...

#FathersDay #FamilyLawReform #ParentalAlienation #attachmentpathology #childpsychologicalabuse #GoneTooSoon #FathersMatter
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9avel1ROzYk

When our summer’s day is cancelled and melts away

Summer has arrived and the atmosphere has changed. People are excited to be outside socialising and it seems like every family is making the most of the warmth.

A heatwave was predicted to arrive for the weekend and I wanted to make the most out of the popular family area at Steel Space in City Square. The water fountains there are adored by kids.

I asked your mum where she would drop you off and pick you up. This way, I could organise and maximise our time by asking your grandma and Clive to meet us at City Square before handing you back to your mum at 4pm.

Last summer I had more time with you, but your mum has cut it back to 4pm. For many families their fun is barely starting while by 3:15 I’m having to get back towards the handover point.

Another disappointment

On Saturday your mum sent me a message to inform me you had had a rough night.

I’d spent the last couple of days making plans with family and working out the itinerary so I could keep you cool but also make the most of our time.

I went to various supermarkets to ensure I had lots of options for your lunch and afternoon snacks too. Watermelons were in high demand but I didn’t stop until I had one, so I could hydrate you with refreshing slices.

Stupid optimism

Yesterday, I went to a Elly’s BBQ who lives nearby. While I socialised, I had you on my mind and tried to be positive that you’d be better for our Sunday together.

Jenny baked a tasty cake so I asked her what she included, to make sure it was suitable for you, and brought some home for you to try.

The fridge was full of watermelon, I had all the ingredients ready for lunch and plenty of snacks. It was hard to sleep, I was eager to see you.

The dreaded message

I don’t know why I let myself get upset when I finally saw the message cancelling. I can’t even go up and visit you to look after you when you’re unwell.

The feeling of not seeing you arrests me. It took me hours to get myself together after trying to figure out how to fix this situation.

I know things will change somehow so I’m doing everything to make sure you will always have a happy welcoming home with me.

https://open.spotify.com/track/7vkCAgrDDv3AgRCXYJUUoD?si=a2c1cb2320aa45dd

I picked this song because it’s monotonous and repetitive. Just how this situation feels.

We’ll have our sunny days together

I’m fast losing the moments of having you run around naked in the sun, filled with joy and a huge smile – the one I love so much.

I’m thinking about our future, the next decade. We’ll have lots of lovely moments together. One day we’ll fall asleep in the park together. One day we’ll go camping together. I can’t wait. They will be some of my happiest moments in my life.

I’m sick and upset about losing so many precious moments, I hate it and just want to skip forward to when we can spend the day together and chat all day, without anything to worry us.

Please always know it wasn’t me not wanting to look after you when you were unwell. Your mum is doing everything she can to stop us having a relationship. I’m sorry everything is a mess.

I promise when you’re able to make the decision yourself, you’ll always have a home with me.

Listen through the podcast

https://open.spotify.com/episode/2dkIVglYeSeGEVfu0ttySn?si=LqSAEOM9Sse72q5woZ9L6A

#cancelledDay #dadBlog #dadLife #daughter #family #familyCourt #familyDiary #fatherSRights #fatherhood #heartbreak #hostileCoparent #missingYou #myGirl #myLove #parentalAlienation #parenting #summerIsHere #withoutYou

Cherished time together after family court

After the court day, I’ve been in shock and struggling to make sense of what the rest of the year is going to be like. I can’t get excited about having you overnight and more of the same is what has been imposed on me.

Temporarily forgetting about problems

It’s hard to think about our time together without the disappointment, but your smell and beautiful face partly lets me forget about the problems while we’re together.

Today I picked you up from the station as usual, I had suncream to ensure I would protect your beautiful skin. I was keen to get back to our neighbourhood so we could make the most of the safe streets and play areas.

Your leggings were a little wet because you did a big wee which leaked slightly, so I took them off and it was the loveliest sight to see your legs out, I rarely see your skin apart from when I’m changing your nappy. I miss giving you a bath.

Funny little things you do

We chilled at home and played. Olivia bought you crayons which she also wrapped up. You’re such a lucky girl, getting presents all the time.

At home, I’m extremely happy to say that you know the rooms and the spaces and go about on your own. This is exactly what’s right. It’s your home, your space to enjoy and feel comfortable in.

For whatever reason you wanted to rearrange the pots kept on some shelves in the balcony. I love seeing you do your own thing.

Big girl lunch

You’re eating well and I think you’re more interested in proper food nowadays, so Olivia made us a tofu stir fry. A meal we have together regularly and I was pleased to share with you.

You didn’t like being in the high chair like usual, so you climbed out and sat with me, then went over to Olivia. Adorably, you fed her and your appetite seemed to grow with each bite. We’re lucky to have Olivia in our lives, she cares about you a lot and helped me cope during this horrendous year.

Home time, it’s hard.

Your mum asked me to drop you off at City Square station a few minutes earlier so she could get the train back. So at 3:25 it was already time to head back.

Even after a 40 minute nap you were tired from the day. It’s not right that you can’t stay overnight and be peaceful at home. I’ll keep trying to make it work, but I’m also desperate for the day when we can do more than just stay near home. I hate rushing back mid-afternoon, feeling hollow for the rest of the day without you.

Next time

7 more days till I see you again, all going well. I’m planning a picnic for us and to practice some rolypolies.

https://open.spotify.com/track/6gLziluLoYfPsu1Y2KKGNo?si=b695f0c6a318426f

Listen through the podcast

https://open.spotify.com/episode/7m3NBBXwnMF3NeF1vbhVrL?si=8OFnMcY9SKSKu_n3K1otFQ

#dad #dadLife #daughter #family #familyCourt #familyLife #fatherSRights #fatherhood #heartbreak #missingYou #myGirl #parentalAlienation #parenting #raisingAGirl #toddler

Back in family court fighting for you

I’m on the train home after a momentous day. It’s mid-afternoon with beautiful blue skies and people are wearing their short sleeve shirts and summer dresses. Maybe some of them were smart enough to take the day off, for an extra long weekend.

Today’s hearing

This week has been horrendous and my experience of the family court process is that it feels completely haphazard and unpredictable, which fades away hope for a good outcome for us.

At the hearing, I was placed in a heartbreaking position. Now your mum has created the status quo of you living in River Town, it’s realistically impossible that the court would force her to return to the Big City or even establish a workable coparenting arrangement. The only thing I’ve ever wanted is to parent you equally, 50/50 time with both parents and all our love.

I’ve tried so hard to make sense out of her reasoning for all of this. I will never understand why she’s doing everything to stop us having a proper relationship. Why does she hate the idea of you getting a kiss from me goodnight?

Remaining problems

I had to focus the issues at the hearing on when we would have time together and start overnights. Otherwise, your mum clearly wouldn’t let it happen for a long time and be rigid and create obstacles. So I can’t leave it up to her to decide.

I overheard her barrister refusing to negotiate, it sounded like your mum had already made this a red line.

I also couldn’t leave arrangements about your birthday for your mum to decide on. I want to be able to give you a cake, to give you a birthday kiss…

At the hearing, your mum refused to agree that I could have you on your birthday. She’s heartless.

What’s happening next

Although I tried to be practical, your mum completely refused to agree to when I could have you overnight and about your birthday, so the court’s help is still needed to resolve those issues. A further date has been set for early October.

We’ve lost so much time already, but before completely slipping through my fingers, I will keep fighting for you and I’ll keep building a happy home you will always feel safe at. I promise sweetheart.

I hope you never doubt my love for you.

Listen through the podcast

https://open.spotify.com/episode/1ryI8w9IcBc0eLJ1MHklkJ?si=T-hjqtsfQeOByIp0mMj__w

#childrenSRights #custodyBattle #dad #dadBlog #dadDiary #dadLife #daughter #emotional #familyCourt #familyLife #fatherSRights #fatherhood #fightingForYou #heartbreak #love #mentalHealth #missingYou #myBaby #myGirl #parentalAlienation