After dinner:

5yo: can I have a marshmallow??

3yo: can I have a shrimp?!?

I love my little umami fiend

#parenting

Happy Father’s Day to the Ones Who Actually Show Up

Welcome back to another installment of Stories from Tina. Grab a seat. I’ve currently got my lifeline in hand—a Philz iced Tesora with heavy cream and sugar—and I’m ready to get into it. You all know music is my primary language, so before you keep reading, imagine a fittingly soulful, real-talk track playing in the background to set the vibe. My little white Shih Tzu, Daisy, is currently curled up at my feet completely oblivious to the world, which is exactly the kind of peace I’m trying to channel today.

Today is Father’s Day. If you scroll through social media right now, you’re going to see the standard highlight reels, the matching shirts, the grill smoke, and generic greetings. You’re also going to see at least one man who hasn’t bought a pack of socks since 2019 suddenly expecting a full parade. But as a 33-year-old Leo, you know I’m not here to sugarcoat reality; I’m here for authenticity, boundaries, and a little bit of a reality check. We have watered down the word “father” so much that some people think biology is the whole résumé.

Let’s talk about what actually makes a father. I was scrolling through my feed this morning and saw a quote that perfectly nailed the vibe I’m on today. It read: “Happy Father’s Day to all the men that actually take care of their kids & an even bigger happy Father’s Day to the men that step up for kids that ain’t theirs. It don’t take blood to make you a dad, it takes love.”

Listen, gentlemen. Biology is basically just a science experiment. Being a father? That’s a verb. It’s an active, daily, relentless choice. Anybody can have a child; that part doesn’t require a committee meeting, a background check, or even common sense. But raising a child is a completely different assignment. I am talking about the men who are actually fathering. The ones who know their child’s shoe size without calling the mother first. The ones who know the teacher’s name, the allergies, the bedtime routine, and the exact difference between “I’m fine” and “I’m about to cry but I don’t want to say it.”

Parenting is not a pop-up shop. You cannot clock in once every six months, take a picture at Chuck E. Cheese, buy a Happy Meal, and act like you just completed a presidential term. Children are not seasonal decorations or tax-time reminders. They are human beings. They remember, they feel, they notice, and eventually, they understand. We all know how exhausting the daily grind can be. Between managing endless household schedules, figuring out what’s for dinner for the thousandth time, and just trying to keep growing humans emotionally and physically thriving, life demands everything we have. A real father doesn’t look at the chaos of daily life and check out; he wades right into the middle of it.

Let’s say it louder for the people in the back: Happy Father’s Day to all the fathers out there, but you’re not really a father unless you’re actually taking care of all your kids that you actively have on this earth.

All of them.

Not just the ones whose mother you still like. Not just the ones who live in the house with you. Not just the child with the mother who doesn’t require accountability. If you have multiple children, fatherhood does not allow you to pick a favorite family like you are choosing toppings at Subway.

I’m so incredibly tired of the “she won’t let me see them” excuse when we all know family courts exist. Or the “I’ll be there when they’re older and can understand” cop-out. Newsflash: by the time they are older, they will understand exactly who was absent and who chose their own comfort over their child’s well-being.

I know a thing or two about the realities of these dynamics and how painful it can be. My son Noah’s biological father wouldn’t even claim him. To this day, he denies, refuses, and neglects his son, as well as all of his other children—except for two of his daughters. That is not fatherhood. You do not get to say, “I take care of my kids,” while others are growing up wondering why they got the clearance-rack version of you. A child should never be punished because two adults could not make a relationship work. Adults create the mess; adults need to clean it up.

Because blood might make you related, but love makes you family. DNA does not wipe tears. DNA does not sit in traffic to pick a child up from practice. DNA does not help with homework while pretending to understand new math (and let’s pause right there, because new math is proof that the education system woke up one day and chose violence).

There’s a beautifully written message circulating online today that perfectly captures the whole messy, beautiful spectrum of this holiday. It sends love to everyone: the single dads, the stepdads, the adoptive and foster dads, the ones navigating loss, and those with complicated relationships with their own fathers. It acknowledges that today isn’t just a Hallmark card for everyone. But my absolute favorite part of that message is how it ends: “…and everyone who shows up with love like a dad.”

Showing up. That’s the magic phrase.

I want to give a massive, standing ovation to the men who don’t share DNA with the children they love, but who step into a role they weren’t obligated to fill. Imagine looking at a child and saying, “I don’t have to do this, but I’m going to.”

Happy Father’s Day to my kids’ dad, Nonso, who is raising both our kids. When Noah’s biological father walked away, Nonso stepped up in ways that are unimaginable. He adopted my son as his own. He has been raising and doing everything for both Noah and Maureen. From taking them to school and sports events to just being their rock, this man has a good heart and means well. He didn’t just step in when things were easy; he stepped in during the messy transitions and the moments where my kids needed a steady hand. My kids love him so much and appreciate everything he does for them. He is the ultimate proof that the man who shares your life becomes the one who truly earns the title.

Now let me sprinkle in a little humor because y’all know I can’t stay serious forever. Some dads act like watching their own children is babysitting. Sir. Those are your kids. Nobody gives moms a standing ovation because they spent time with their own children. Imagine me calling my husband and saying: “Can you come watch your kids while I go to Target?” The way I’d get laughed right off the phone! Yet some men think they deserve a Nobel Peace Prize because they spent two hours with their own child without calling for backup. Or they announce, “I’m watching the kids today so my wife can have a break.” Being present with your own offspring isn’t a favor, it’s the job description. Please be serious.

But let’s also acknowledge that being a good father isn’t about being perfect. Kids will test you. They will literally look you in the eyes, wearing the shoes you worked overtime to buy, and act like you are ruining their life because you asked them to pick up a single sock. They will ask for snacks immediately after refusing the dinner you just cooked from scratch. They will tell you at 8:47 p.m. on a Sunday that they need a trifold poster board for a project due tomorrow morning. They will say, “You don’t understand,” while eating food you paid for and using Wi-Fi you keep alive like a utility bill hostage situation. Parenting is an extreme sport.

Good fathers keep trying anyway. Good fathers apologize when they lose their cool. Good fathers don’t disappear when parenting gets uncomfortable or boring.

So today, I want to send love to the whole emotional group chat that is Father’s Day. To the single dads packing lunches and doing hair, learning how to be emotionally available—you are seen. To the grandpas and uncles standing in the gap—thank you. To the people missing their dads, grieving, or navigating complicated relationships where you don’t know whether to send a text or just go eat something with cheese and pretend feelings aren’t real—I hope today is gentle with you.

But mostly, to the real ones out there. The men who quietly love their children every day. The men who stay. The ones who provide, step up, wipe tears, and actively raise ALL the humans they brought into (or welcomed into) this world. Your children may not fully understand your invisible labor right now, but one day they will realize who stayed. Who called. Who fought for them. Who actively chose them, every single day.

Happy Father’s Day.

Keep it real,

-Tina

#Parenting toothbrushing challenge: brush kid’s teeth with one hand while rubbing kid’s back with the other… while they pat your head and circle-rub your tummy.

All at once.

Go!

5yo: do you want to hear a joke?

Me: (with trepidation) sure...

5yo: Why did the dolphin jump out of the water?

Me: I don't know, why?

5yo: so he could fly to the moon but then he died because there is no air there but then he came back to earth and fell in the ocean and he could breathe and he was alive again

#parenting #FathersDay

Becoming a dad is “so incredibly good for you – and, specifically, your brain,” writes Sam Fishwick in this Father’s Day-themed article for @Independent. Fishwick also goes on to discuss “Dad Brain: The New Science of Fatherhood and How It Shapes Men’s Lives,” a book that profoundly moved him, especially since becoming a father in 2024. As a phenomenon, “Dad Brain” may sound like something to avoid, but Fishwick and plenty of other dads are here for it. Read his story, then make sure to go call your pops:

https://flip.it/M6afJF

#FathersDay #Parenting #Culture

My parents were visiting today, and my Mom was talking with our Daughter about school, and mentioned she's surprised she received only a 3 (out of 5) in mathematics, even though she's good at maths.

Daughter explained that she discovered that the more she likes something, the more trouble she has studying it, and she ended up liking maths a lot.

That tracks, because she's getting good grades in grammar, and she absolutely loathes that stuff.

#parenting

Kyson Dana: every day, I draw one #AnimalLetter a day to teach my son the alphabet https://zorz.it/WWbrn

#KysonDana #SketchAZduel #art #TheAlphabet #parenting #BabyBooks #letters #dad #Kyson #son #Theo #illustrations #SketchbookOfAnimals #VibrantColors #CreativeFather

There's a big part of the social media ban people are struggling to understand

https://fed.brid.gy/r/https://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/theres-big-part-social-media-34138919

New Comic Strip Found: Baby Blues - 2026-06-20 https://www.gocomics.com/babyblues/2026/06/20

#comicstrip #babyblues #parenting