Stress between Cafcass interviews

I’m writing this in a moment between Cafcass meetings. I spoke with the case officer on Monday, and your mum will speak to her next week.

I’ve struggled to keep a record here for you as so many moments are sad and hopeless. I have lots of notes in drafts, waiting to be revised before I save, but the pain of recalling those moments has been too difficult and I avoid going back to them to avoid provoking more sadness. Ultimately, I want to keep a record for you, so I’ll work it out.

This relentless situation means I’ve got to make the most of what we have.

Your mom continues to fight against me, against us being a family where I have equal responsibility, time and care for you. She doesn’t want me involved and I’ve been fighting just to be able to see you more than once a week. It hurts me so much that we barely have 5 hours together on a Sunday and many of those are cancelled anyway.

Staying in your memories

I’m terrified you don’t know who I am right now. What if you don’t see that I’m your loving dad who will always love and care for you.

I got a bit of hope because you can understand and remember little things. Like on the weekend, when you knew where to get your plates and bib for lunch. It was a lovely surprise to get your help but most importantly for you to have remembered something about our time together.

Missing so much

Even with some positive signs, I live devastated that I can’t give you a bath at night or kiss in the morning.

More hostilities to come

Next week your mum will spew more hateful deceitful lies with the only one aim, to keep us apart.

I think about you every moment, even though it hurts.

Listen through the podcast

#Cafcass #courtCase #dad #dadLife #dadTime #daddyDaughter #family #familyCourt #fatherTime #fatherSRights #fatherhood #heartbreak #makingMemories #parentalAlienation #parenting #preparingForCourt #timeTogether

Medieval Times Junior Knights Training Class is perfect for spring break! This fun class and "official knighting" precedes the show and meal. #MedievalTimes #Lyndhurst #LyndhurstNY #KnightLife #Hosted #KnightlyGesture #Knights #Horses  #KnightsOfInstagram #MakingMemories #CastleLife #FamilyTime 

https://themintchipmama.com/2025/04/04/medieval-times-junior-knights-training-class/

Getting comfy this weekend at home after a month apart

To make up for the lost day from your holiday to Coldland, your mum let me have you for both Saturday and Sunday.

It’s been about a month since I last kissed your nose, a month since I could give you a squeeze. Such a long time is painful. You’re learning and growing super fast and I feel lost not knowing what words you’ve learnt or new interests you’ve gained.

I’m continuing to focus our time at home, in preparation for when court finally forces your mum to let me have you overnight. Bathtime together and waking up to your beautiful morning smiles, should come soon!

Saturday

We played at home, you arrived very tired and you had a cold so we took it easy.

You’re comfortable at home. You travel across rooms with familiarity and know which areas are safe to play in and which areas will cause me to run over to move you away (your interest in electricity cables seems to have passed!)

Your understanding is getting very advanced. You seem to understand most things I ask you. For example, I asked for your help bringing the highchair seat and legs and you perfectly understood – even to bring several parts at a time!

Your most used word remains ‘moor’. It’s very useful and so lovely to hear your voice.

Sunday

We played and I had another cooking activity to do together. The coffee table is the perfect height for you, so I placed a bowl of pasta and the pan there to get your help.

After lunch and listening to music, we went for a walk where we visited the brewery where James met you for the first time, only a few weeks after you were born.

Every time I walk past it, I think of that sunny late summer afternoon when I thought we would be close for years to come. That idea has now been shattered, but my love for you remains unchanged.

We played Connect 4 while I had half a lager. The perfect game to keep you entertained for a few minutes until you went exploring and got compliments from others for being so cute.

On the way home you spoke another of your favourite words. Deedee! Deedee! All smiley and giggily while dogs walk past. A few very friendly pups crossed our path and I was pleased to see you’ve learnt to stroke not pull at their hair!

Saying goodbye

Handing you back to your mum is usually the hardest moment of the week for me. The unpredictability of whether or not I’ll see you the following Sunday and torment from your mum, hurts my mood for the rest of the night.

I still can’t look at our pictures and have to try and distract my thoughts. It’s been almost a year of not being able to go to sleep without exhausting myself first.

Seeing your mum

Your excitement when you see your mum shatters my heart.

Any connection we built up during the day is lost faster than a blink. I try to improve my thoughts by focusing on the idea that your reaction means you’re well looked after. My broken heart reminds me that your life is currently missing my love and incomplete.

Me and your mum love you equally but my love is blocked for now.

Listen through the podcast

#dadLife #dadLove #daughter #familyTime #fatherSRights #fatherhood #ILoveYou #IMissYou #makingMemories #parentalAlienation #parenting #preciousMoments #toddlerActivities

A very warm welcome to all of the year 6 students and families that will be joining us in September. This is an exciting step in your journey and we look forward to the incredible memories and successes over the next 5 years.

#WarmWelcome #nextsteps #year6 #highschool #highschoollife #education #makingmemories #EmbraceSuccess #next5years #LearnTodayLeadTomorrow #learntodayleadtomorrow

☀️ It must have been the sunny vibes… ☀️

Last week, we sat together and made plans for the next two years! 🔥 Exciting times ahead, and soon we’ll tell you more about it.

But before that, let’s take a trip down memory lane…

Back in 2014, we played a memorable show in Barcelona. What a night! 🤩 That’s exactly the kind of magic we’re aiming for again! 🎸✨

#Pilod #newplans #makingmemories #ontheroad #throwback #barcelona #indieskeepingsecrets

https://youtu.be/Nf0qb2eGP0c?si=Olx2LqSlyGG1xBxy