Beautiful? Adorable? This flesh prison that I’ve come to hate, that’s attractive to you? My body can’t even work right; it sabotages me with pain and horrible feelings in my brain. Crooked spine, struggling organs, I want to get a new one please! I wasn’t built right. The numbers don’t make sense, I can’t focus even on the important things. Trouble understanding social queues, embarrassing myself in public. Is that a joke or are you serious? If you don’t explain things in detail to me I’ll struggle to perform. Why are you mad at me? I’m not intending to be rude, I’m asking you for clarification. Too sensitive; criticism feels like a punch to the gut. What’s the point? I take more pills to stay alive. Watching people my own age thrive while I cower in my room. My body makes me feel like a monster that is trying to replicate being a human. It’s not very good at it.

Alternatives to performing live for a #disabled musician whose disability would make live performances difficult to pull off ?

The coordination issues from my dyspraxia would make it difficult to perform live. It frequently takes several attempts to get studio recordings correct due to dyspraxia. I can’t picture myself being able to perform live without likely beefing it on the fretboard several times each song. It’s not a practice thing, it’s very much a disability thing.

#music #LiveMusic #musodon #ActuallyDisabled

Well, I’ve got a job interview on Thursday to serve food with other disabled folks at the local marine base. I’m nervous because I don’t really wanna deal with all that but I did want a job that specifically hired disabled people. This one does through a nonprofit org so 🤷‍♀️

PSA:

Leg paralysis is not the only reason to use a wheelchair. There are a wide variety of disabilities for which a person benefits from a wheelchair, and comparatively few of them fully prevent standing and walking. It is hard to find concrete statistics, but more than half of wheelchair users are ambulatory to some extent.

Personally, I experience chronic fatigue, and to access large spaces like convention centers and universities again, I would need a wheelchair. The primary reason I don't have one yet is fear of being assaulted if someone sees me get in or out of it.

This was prompted in part by seeing someone make fun of a pedal-propelled wheelchair model. Not only was that erasing the broad category of disabled people that I belong to, but that specific product might be a good fit for me as an individual. I have naturally strong legs but struggle with arm endurance.

#disability #actuallydisabled

Less than $2,000 left until the Unseen/Unheard anthology is funded. Six days to go. 🫣 I would like to have a copy pleeeaaasseee.

I literally love to support my fellow #actuallydisabled creatives.

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/aubreylynjeppson/unseen-unheard-disability-and-neurodivergence-comic-anthology

#writingcommunity #artistcommunity #comics