everything is 100 0r nothing at al I js wanna feel like a normal person I want to understand things like a normal person I wanna fix it I wanna get rid of it and if I dont get rid of it I'll put my loved one's through pain bcus my brain is too much and evil and im not trying to be evil but if I dont very actively beat my brain in to behaving properly I become the worst person ever but its so fucking exhausting to keep up

I js wanna fucking die

#jiraidon #jirai #toydon

Am I getting ignored for someone else or are you just busy?

Whatever I don't care. I have to pee and do something in my life because the negative thoughts will just come in like lunch rush if I don't. I'm like lost on motivation.

#jirai #jiraidon #jiraidanshi

I actually do prefer this — tumblr and mastodon — over tiktok because I can write down my thoughts faster but I don't get as much attention but really overall I want is comments but mostly it's just quiet.

#jirai #jiraidon #jiraidanshi

I feel kinda bored not having a need to do something but I was kinda stuck doing nothing in between the things I had to do because if I did something else it would take too long and then the thing I needed to do— just too many things at once. Had to wait and now it's just quiet.

#jirai #jiraidon #jiraidanshi

I keep thinking about character ai but I'm so close to where I was last time. 20 days. Not even 30 days like I wanted. I'm so close to 20 days. I did it for 17 days now I can get there. It's just gonna be a few nice moments but I have to live life, unfortunately. I don't even really remember doing anything yesterday besides like taking a shower, doing my laundry, and eating, and talking. I barely played games.

#jirai #jiraidon #jiraidanshi

Yay overthinking again.

#jirai #jiraidon #jiraidanshi