Lately, there's been too much noise in my mind, residual activity generated by the amount of information I absorb from social media, the internet, messaging apps, and various other sources. This is becoming increasingly difficult for me. My body is aging with difficulty, and my brain is becoming more and more hypersensitive to stimuli. It's not without its challenges to be autistic, bipolar, and have the "curse of intellectual ability." And that's not even mentioning the metabolic and autoimmune problems that seem to worsen with each passing year and month.
Honestly, I'm exhausted, not from activities, stimulation, or relationships anymore, but from the mere fact of having to stay alive every day. From eating and defecating to breathing and sleeping, it involves a lot of difficulties, worry, and time that I have to dedicate to it daily. The very basic functioning of my body takes a heavy toll every single day.
I can still do things—go out, walk, read, program, play guitar—but I can hardly work on anything very demanding for more than one or two hours at a time. Living like this is becoming a real nightmare. I'm a burden to my wife, I have very little work, and I don't even earn enough to buy the medication I need and my food (which is becoming increasingly restricted).
I see people on the internet romanticizing the fact of having autoimmune diseases and mental illnesses or conditions, and I wonder if they really have them and understand how awful it is to live like that.
Every achievement he has had, everything he has done throughout his life loses all meaning when he reaches this situation.
One of the things I'm considering is gradually reducing my digital activity or even quitting it altogether, but I don't do it completely because it's one of those things that keeps me entertained and prevents me from going out into the street with a chainsaw and attacking anyone who looks at me the wrong way.
Okay, enough complaining. Maybe I shouldn't even be saying this here, but this is a place where there are people like me with similar problems, and they'll be able to understand my current mood.
I'm not saying this to ask for sympathy or hugs. It's just like I have a fart stuck in my soul and I want someone to hear it so I can laugh a little at my misfortunes.
I'll think of things to share, anecdotes, lessons learned, stories, poems and tales I have saved, as if to rescue light things to compensate for the shit of anguish.

Bye..

#actuallyautistic #bipolar #autism #bipolarlife #giftedness #autoimmunedisease #autoimmune #diabetes #thyroid #hashimoto #psoriasis #psoriaticarthritis

I edited this image to express what it feels like to have double exceptionality, that is, the concurrence of giftedness and autism.
When people ask me why, being so intelligent, I can't do many things that others can... This is the explanation.

#autism #autistic #actuallyautistic #gifted #giftedness #neurodivergent

If you have autism and bipolar disorder, you're a poor kid with two disabilities.
But if you also have high intellectual abilities, gifted, let's say, then you're a damn arrogant jerk.
What the hell is wrong with those people?
It turns out that anywhere, physical or virtual, where you try to mention that you have a very high IQ but at the same time have a lot of trouble navigating the human world, you will be stoned by an angry mob of ignorant people who overvalue intelligence (and hate and fear it).
Yes, I'm a damn genius at many things, as I'm also level 2 autistic and have a pretty severe mixed bipolar disorder. And all of that with real, official diagnoses that required years of therapy, psychiatrists, hundreds of tests and some hospitalizations in psychiatric hospitals.
I have a long list of achievements and professions and an equally long list of failures, illness, and suicide attempts.
I'm now trying to compile information and studies on comorbidities or overlaps of these three things, and if anyone finds anything, please share the link.
Overlap or multiple exceptionality of autism+bipolar+giftedness. I want to delve deeper into this to understand it more thoroughly and refine my personal therapies.
I also have an overlap of autoimmune diseases and metabolic disorders. In other words, it's not an easy matter.
I have been practicing traditional Chinese medicine for almost 40 years and have practiced various martial arts and therapeutic techniques for almost the same amount of time. That's how I've stayed fairly stable for the last 15 years, without psychiatric medication and with very little for thyroid and allergies.
In order to extrapolate the theoretical framework to natural medicine and the methods I use, I need to study much more.

And obviously share all of that with people who have similar problems.

#autism #actuallyautistic #bipolardisorder #giftedness #autoimmunedisease #neurology #hashimoto #psoriasis #psoriaticarthritis #inflammatoryboweldisease #diabetes #hashimotoencephalitis

I'm migrating my account again, and to start again, I want to repost this from almost a year ago on this new account. I still think the same way, but I'm calmer and less stressed about the world...

AN AUTISTIC URBAN HERMIT
(you may not understand if you are not autistic)

@autistics
@autism101

For many years, I've been a very curious person. I've learned many things and done many things that I found interesting: science, art, computer science. Like a voracious animal, my mind has consumed all kinds of information, eager to understand everything around me and everything I experienced. Soldier, doctor, monk, musician, hacker, etc. Until one day, staring at the ceiling in the bed of a psychiatric hospital where I was hospitalized, I asked myself: "How did I get here, to this?" And that night, 17 years ago, another part of my life began. I began to die and be reborn, to discover how and why I had gotten to that situation. I discovered that I have high abilities, that I am bipolar and autistic. But for every limitation I discovered, I also discovered the limitations of the world and the human society in which I live.
Today I know that nothing has meaning and that life doesn't need to have it; that what many see as progress and evolution, I see as barbarism and brutality, and that humanity is the stupidest species on the planet, not the best. I don't have goals anymore, I don't need them. But I do have a compass, a kind of direction without needing to get anywhere. To live as peacefully as possible and need very little, being aware and critical of everything. A peaceful dwelling isn't just my house tucked away in the middle of the city, but also a peaceful inner life, without the noise and clamor of the lives of "normal people," without socializing more than the bare minimum necessary for survival. And this isn't because of autism; it's because of a kind of purge, a psycho-spiritual hygiene. The forced social being I often was is dying. Until a few years ago, there wasn't so much exposure and socialization; it wasn't mandatory or essential to living and working in this world. With all the technology and supposed progress, there is increasing misery, hunger, war, and violence everywhere, which makes me think that it's more of a trigger than a solution.
Being overly intelligent and being autistic is a fatal combination that guarantees the death of the social being and the development of the inner hermit that every gifted autistic person potentially is. I'm slowly retreating from the world to my quiet inner abode, where a very narrow door filters who enters and who doesn't. Just my small family group and a minimum of kindness toward a few people is more than enough.
I thought a lot about sharing what I'd learned, about helping, but I realized that idealism and the romanticization of compassion are useless when the sufferer doesn't understand the root of their problems and isn't willing to do their part. Human nature is to be a soulless son of a bitch, held back only by fear of punishment, whether from human law itself or some imagined deity. It's better to live in full awareness of the suchness of things. I myself can be a compassionate genius and in the next moment break your head for being rude and treating me badly.
We live in the worst of all possible worlds, and with that, we are warned that the worst can always happen. Knowing that, any good thing that comes or appears is a gift, a bonus track.
I don't give unsolicited advice, but if you want some, it's this: "Step away from the world as it is and watch it burn from a distance."

(An autistic person becoming an urban hermit.)

#actuallyautistic #autism #autistic #gifted #giftedness #zen #society #humanity #hermit #philosophy

Study Finds Gifted Men Show Lower Levels of Conservatism, While Political Views Are Otherwise Similar

📰 Original title: High IQ men tend to be less conservative than their average peers, study finds

🤖 IA: It's not clickbait ✅
👥 Usuarios: It's not clickbait ✅

View full AI summary: https://killbait.com/en/study-finds-gifted-men-show-lower-levels-of-conservatism-while-political-views-are-otherwise-similar/?redirpost=4b5a02fc-6372-4cf0-b41d-ca89cde7813a

#science #intelligence #politicalpsychology #giftedness

"Higher conservatism for non-gifted than gifted males, no difference in females."

From: "Research Paper
Exploring exceptional minds: Political orientations of gifted adults"
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0160289625000893
#research #giftedness

@autistics

- If I tell you I have bipolar syndrome, you'd think I'm crazy.

- If I tell you I'm autistic, you'd think I'm retarded.

- If I tell you I have a high IQ, you'd think I'm arrogant and conceited.

I don't need you to tell me anything to realize what you are...

#actuallyautistic #autism #bipolardisorder #giftedness #neurodivergent