Hello. I've had a terrible few weeks, then yesterday I had a grocery delivery from hell, well, from Tesco actually, but you know what I mean. Usually I open the door and trays are waiting for me at my doorstep. I have a box I unpack the trays and load up the box. They tell me if there are any substitutions, etc. They go away. I say thanks. Job well done. Literally maximum of 2-5 minutes of interaction.

Yesterday, 2 delivery personnel arrived, rather than the usual 1. There was a knock on the door. I prefer they use the door bell. I opened the door. One tray was at my doorstep. One of the people shouted at me "hello how are you". I looked up startled and it was horrendous. I went straight into trauma mode. I masked the whole time from then. He just kept talking to me. He kept asking personal questions about how long I'd lived there. I just wanted to transfer goods from tray to box but I just kept talking to him. I just wanted him to shut the f*ck up!

I can't help wondering if the other delivery person has delivered to me before and he thought I was rude as I don't really talk but I felt like they thought I was a danger to them so he needed protection. My brain can't process what was happening. I felt like a rabbit in headlights. I couldn't go inside until I'd unpacked the tray.

I haven't been able to sleep with the anxiety. I've tried messaging Tesco via WhatsApp but it was 3:33am and they said they'd pass onto an agent on the next working day. My WhatsApp messages don't connect with their automated system now. I started asking to speak to an agent after the time it's supposed to be open but nothing happens. Guess I'll try tomorrow or Monday.

I'm exhausted. I've done nothing wrong but I feel as if I've been accused of something. It's so distressing. I wish people would respect our boundaries and limitations and stop trying to get us to be like them. I probably appeared rude but never dangerous. Going into a store isn't feasible as I'm not able to handle it.

I've used Tesco for 12 months and everything seemed fine. It was a good experience until yesterday. I don't want to change but I might have to.
@autistics

#actuallyautistic

It’s performance evaluation time at work. It hardly seems worth it, considering the anxiety it causes and the little-to-no real upside — based on the reality of many years now.

So me and my #AuDHD brain wind up delaying until there isn’t any extra space or time to let the activity last any longer than is absolutely essential. Call it #PDA, but it minimizes my emotional carnage.

I tried using the AI helper, but I had to cut self-aggrandizing language. Eww.

#SelfEval #ActuallyAutistic

#actuallyautistic #auDHD #adhs #autismus #ocd

Gibt es hier Menschis, die im Rahmen der Autismusdiagnostik auch eine OCD-Diagnostik gemacht haben (unabhängig vom Ergebnis)?

Die Überschneidungen von OCD- und Autismusverhaltensweisen sind ja teilweise groß, deshalb hab ich mich gestern gefragt:
inwieweit wird da eigentlich ne Ausschlussdiagnostik gemacht?
Weiß da jemensch mehr?

[Reine Interessensfrage, ist nicht eilig]

today i helped a friend paint their bathroom. it was great to be off the computer for a day.

i also cleaned up stray paint left by the previous two painters, who had painted the room in two distinct colors. curiously, they were not as careful as me with masking tape

but then again, the way i carefully deconstructed the bathroom to properly paint behind all fixtures, would probably be quite a waste of a professional painter's time if said professional needs to bill by the hour, or raise the project quote by doing all that small extra stuff.

also professionals (people who paint for a living) need to get jobs done reasonably quickly so they can move on to the next one

which explains why i found paint around the edges of fixtures, random small splatters on the floor.. the last painter also left streaks of paint on the door handle, and random splatters on the shower structure

it makes me think of a previous software job where i was let go because the company needed a "carpenter" and not a "fine furniture maker"

i made a few small mistakes but overall i'm proud of my work

i have to say it was really great being able to take as much time as i wanted to do a project as perfectly and as detailed as i wanted / had the energy for #actuallyautistic

Autistic wedding vows shortened to brisk nod

#ActuallyAutistic

I have pushed my dental appointment to June 10th to hopefully give me a chance raise the remaining $120 I need to make it

etrans: [email protected]
https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/ourinsatiabesouls

#BlackMutualAid #MutualAidRequest
#BlackMastodon #queermutualaid
#HelpFolksLive2026 #Queercrowdfund
#disability #disabilityaid #actuallyautistic #DisabilityCrowdFund #MutualAid

@[email protected] @mutual_aid @MutualAidVisibility @anarchomutual @blackfedi

Diary of an AuDHD Squirrel. Day 944 , Friday 29/05/2026

Up at the crack of sparrows fart then off to the gym for the last session of the week.

Today has been a much quieter day, & a much cooler one - pleasantly warm rather than stonkingly hot!

Final Thoughts.

Really having problems getting my brain into gear at the moment, old age setting in?

Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖

@autistics
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves