#Today #3Things

1. Our workers built a simple shelter at the side of our driveway to keep the rain off our little farm vehicle, pic below. Has room for future improvement but they showed initiative and it's a good use of spare lumber and tin roofing we had lying around. I grabbed a post and gave it a good shake - rock solid. #RusiChariot

2. I got out my modelling tools and built some lineside huts for the #ModelRailway (laser-cut kits from Modellbahn Union).

3. A post I made yesterday about #ExecutiveDysfunction and #TaskParalysis got some traction and hopefully I've helped a few people think more compassionately about themselves.

#AuDHD #ADHD #Autism #ExecutiveDysfunction #TaskParalysis

You know what most often gets me stuck? Dependencies. This can happen in programming, in DIY, in housework, anything really.

This is how it goes:

I need to do A. Ah, but in order to do A, I have to do B first. Oh damn, before I can do B, I have to do C. And oh shit, C is pointless until I do D (this sometimes continues through half the alphabet...)

By the time I've worked out all the dependencies so I know what has to come first, I'm screwed. Motivation has left the building. The list is longer than I have the #spoons for, my sense of future time has disappeared and I shut down.

Now I'm writing about it, probably the best thing is to just try and do the first task *but* ignore the fact that all the others depend on it. But it's easy to forget that when you're in the thick of it, your anxiety is building and your spoons are disappearing left and right.

#Today #3Things

1. After enjoying JD Kirk's DCI Logan series of crime novels, I've now finished the Robert Hoon spinoff books. They started well but by book 4 had jumped the shark, and book 5 was so far beyond jumping the shark it was actually hurdling whales. #Bookstodon

2. For the last couple of weeks I seem to have been fighting #ExecutiveDysfunction. My executive is dysfuncted. I've been "fogged up". Interestingly I recently finished a long (4 month) stretch of heavy client workload and now I have much less to do. Are the two connected? Possibly. Somehow.

3. Grey day. Non-stop drizzle. Not my favourite weather. Made our mountain look good though, with wispy cloud between the foothills. #MountMatutum

Why am I having a FREEZE panic attack about following through on a huge and extremely impulsive project that will require major amounts of time and money - but IF I pull it off, it could drastically make my life better?? And it's not like I LOSE anything by taking at least the first few steps, as far as I can until I hit a wall. Things won't get worse, they just won't change yet. I only really hurt myself by AVOIDING THE PAPERWORK LIKE A BIG OL' SCAREDY-CAT.

But seriously, these types of hairbrained schemes are usually the ones that fire up my ADHD "new and novel challenge accepted" super mode where I can accomplish the impossible if I really just throw myself into an all-out sprint of willpower. Can't pace these things out. Gotta grab the bull by the horns and hang on for the ride. Don't slow down enough to doubt yourself. JUST DO THE PAPERWORK, CON. Geeze.

I'm fully cognizant that about 1/4 of my housekeeping problems could be solved by actually setting up the two, yes, two, robot vacuums that I have in boxes sitting in the back room.

Yay, #ExecutiveDysfunction

Executive dysfunction isn't procrastination.

Procrastination is a choice you delay. Executive dysfunction is the inability to initiate — even when the stakes are high and you genuinely want to start. The task is visible. The bridge to it isn't.

#ExecutiveDysfunction #ADHD #Initiation

Youtube short where someone explains ADHD overwhelm/task initiation paralysis using a normal ballpoint pen and a multiple-colour ballpoint pen:

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/Hu_dj8ai0k0

#ADHD #executiveDysfunction