#UzorArukwe speaks out against #falseallegations, making it clear that spreading rumors for attention and #monetization will have #consequences.
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Halloween 2024: Five Years of Pumpkins (Suck Your Food Box Dick)

Five Years.

It’s coming up on the five year anniversary since I said goodbye to my children. It’s hard to believe. It doesn’t seem right, and I’ve had to count the years out on my fingers several times.

2020. 2021. 2022. 2023… 2024.

I have reflected on years past in previous posts, so if you are just tuning in, the links above will get you all caught up.

This article will be long enough, because I could easily write a full blog post for each of the five pumpkins. That is exactly why I am breaking it up into parts.

Five years of digging deep on child welfare and child abuse has brought about many revelations. About the system, the laws, the policies, the actual practices I saw and experienced personally, and the experiences of others around me… revelations about myself. These insights have shaped my views, changing some of them and reinforcing others.

I want to keep it short and sweet, but I have a lot to points to make.

Each pumpkin is like a themed chapter in a book that I wrote specifically for the intended audience. This holiday tradition and my efforts are dedicated to my children, in honor of the loss of our family. The only tradition that even comes close to bringing me joy like holidays used to.

This is the third and final part in this series about Halloween 2024. In Part One, I started the countdown with Pumpkins #5 and #4.

I continued with Pumpkins #3 and #2 in Part Two. And like I said, I had a hard time deciding which pumpkin was #1, because #2 was such a close second…

…but the design on Pumpkin #1 is definitely my favorite of ALL the pumpkins that I have decorated for DHS so far!

Pumpkin #1

Suck Your Food Box Dick!

I wonder if they had any idea what I was talking about when the supervisor and staff members first read it. I picture them scratching their heads and wondering out loud what it meant. Well, in order to explain my inspiration for this original design, I will have to take you back in time a little bit. In addition to answers the big 5 W’s, you will need a little background information.

When?

It was November 8th, 2022, I remember very clearly for several reasons.

• I had been giving the incredible opportunity to sit down for an interview with my friend, Rick Stewart, the Libertarian candidate for governor, and I had been frantically working to publish a blog post about it before the election.

• November 8th was Election Day in 2022!

• Earlier that morning I got up early to watch the Super Full Blood Moon Total Lunar Eclipse. I sat in the south parking lot at the old West school and watched the whole thing.

If you have ever worked in health care, you already know that the energy is intense during a full moon. Eclipses tend to supercharge the energies of the full or new moon. A lunar eclipse can only happen on a full moon, when the shadow of the earth completely covers the moon, creating an effect that turns the moon red. (Lunar eclipses are also sometimes called blood moons.)

The energy of a full moon is about completion, clearing, and letting go. It can also be a time of heightened emotions, disturbed sleep, and intense dreams. It can trigger the release of pent up emotions, anxieties, grief. This can be a very cathartic experience, allowing us to release emotional baggage and move forward with a lighter heart.

It was a very emotional morning for me, watching the moon and reflecting on the events of the previous couple days. I left the old school parking lot that morning refreshed and full of energy after a good cry. I went home, showered, and got to work finishing my blog post before I set out on a mission to make sure my friends all made it to the voting booth.

Who?

Since I met Lucas, Cami, and Lucas’ three teenage daughters, they’ve truly become like family to me. Just a few months after we met, Lucas’ mom, Jackie, passed away. The girls had lived with Jackie for most of their lives, and they were very close to her. Lucas and Cami had moved in a couple of years earlier when Jackie’s health started to decline, and she needed oxygen. Jackie was in charge and she kept everything running at home. so when her health suddenly took a turn for the worse, it was a huge adjustment for everyone when she passed.

I only met Jackie a few times, but she was always warm and welcoming. Lucas later shared with me that she liked both me and Jim. I think she knew that her clock was ticking. Whenever we talked, she seemed relieved to know that Cami and Lucas had friends like us nearby.

After she was gone, Lucas and Cami did their best to step into Jackie’s shoes; Jim and I were there to help however we could. Lucas quickly became like a brother to me, and Cami, like a sister. It meant a lot to support them as they adjusted to their new roles as the primary caregivers. Three teenage girls are a handful for anyone, but with the added grief of losing the family matriarch, and taking on the responsibilities of managing the household, they understandably struggled at times. I am proud of them for how they pulled together!

The girls and I clicked right away! Jackie had been very protective, and so they had spent a majority of their free time at home. Even at 16 and 17 years old, they had never ventured further away than a 2 block radius from the house! We often joked about going out and exploring the “real world.” Jim and I loved watching them come out of their shells!

We got them out of the house for bike rides, took them out on the river, went camping, celebrated holidays and birthdays together. They came to me with everything from homework to boy problems. I loved being able to help with “teenage girl stuff”—offering advice, support, or just being there when they needed someone to talk to. We shared so many moments that brought us closer, and they filled a big place in my heart.

Where?

There are several homes across eastern Iowa where I am welcome at any time night or day. Safe spaces where I can walk right in, no questions asked… Most of them I have stocked with toiletries and maybe even a change of clothes just in case. Lucas and Cami’s house was one of those places for me.

You see, Jim and I consider his mom’s house to be our “home base,” but honestly nowhere feels like home to me since the kids have been gone. My life is completely and utterly different from what it was before. We like to joke that we aren’t meant to stay anywhere too long, and it’s true.

That may be hard for most people to understand, let alone accept… I get that. Trust me, it’s hard for us to understand and accept sometimes, too. We’ve come to realize that we aren’t meant to have a place to call our own, at least for right now. It is part of our journey and our mission to remain available, should our help be needed. And the universe has a way of directing us to exactly where we are supposed to be…

Anyways… It was a little after noon by the time I made it to Cami and Lucas’ house that day. Lucas worked second shift, so they were still in bed, but they woke up easily enough when they heard me walk in the kitchen. I remember my excitement and they couldn’t help but laugh as I announced the special occasion… “IT’S ELECTION DAY! WAKE UP GUYS!”

They groaned and rolled their eyes as they joined me in the kitchen. I brewed a pot of coffee and we sat down to catch up. It had been a week or two since I had been around, and they had some news.

What?

I could see the frustration and the hurt on Cami’s face as she told me that they were being investigated by DHS. According to the report, Laci had accused Cami of being physically abusive to her, and she had also reported domestic incidences between Cami and Lucas where Laci was injured after trying to intervene.

I felt bad for Cami, because I had been around the house often enough to know that Cami is not mean or abusive in anyway… I had never even seen her raise her voice at the girls! And she didn’t really need to. They were dramatic at times, like any other teenage girl, and kind of lazy. We all had to remind them repeatedly to clean up their rooms, but they really were pretty good kids, so I was surprised to hear that Laci was saying these things!

Lucas talked about his phone conversation and meeting with the case worker. He reassured Cami that he didn’t think that the allegations were true, and he wasn’t sure why Laci would say that either. He didn’t seem very concerned about the investigation, but Cami was still upset.

So we talked about the things that I tell every parent about dealing with DHS:

• You do not have to:
  • answer their questions!
    • They think you are guilty of abusing your child! And they are looking for every bit of evidence that they can find, so they can take it to the county attorney and file a court case against you.
    • Well meaning parents might think it will “look better” if they cooperate. Respectfully decline to respond to their questions, and do not give them permission to meet with your child again (because chances are- they already did!). They may act like you are required to, but the fact is anything you say can and will be twisted and used against you in a court of law.
  • let them into your home!
    • in fact, I advise against it. Once you allow them into your home, you are basically waiving your 4th, 5th, and 6th amendment rights!
  • submit to drug testing or any other intervention without a court order!
    • Never go to a doctor or lab recommended by CPS. They are contracted by DHHS/CPS, this is a conflict of interest, and the results are “indisputable” unless it suits their agenda (trust me!)
• If you DO decide to talk to them… RECORD EVERYTHING- every phone call, every face-to-face conversation, every time.
  • Download a call recorder app. I have used Cube ACR in the past. You can set it up to automatically record, and then you can shut it off after starting a call if you don’t need it to be. That app even records messenger calls!
  • When it comes down to it, it’s your word against theirs. They do not record, their reports are written after the fact
    • I have caught several untrue statements when reviewing reports in the past.
  • Consider carrying a back up option for recording conversations just in case. In addition to my phone that has both a call recording app and a recording app, I also carry a digital recorder with me wherever I go.
• Remember this PRICELESS advice I had drilled into my head in nursing school:

If you didn’t document it, you didn’t do it!

I cover this information and a bunch more tips and tricks for parents to help them be a PROACTIVE parent and avoid DHHS/CPS involvement in my mini course: PROTECT YOUR FAMILY!

I remember saying, “Okay, enough lecturing…” and shifting the conversation to the election, when we heard someone knocking on the front door on the other side of the house. I am not sure how, but I immediately had a feeling that I knew who it was…

Cami and Lucas looked at each other and then me, surprised. Neither one of them were expecting company, and neither of them made a move to go answer the door, so I jumped up from my seat and walked out into the front porch. The family never used that door, and the windows were covered with blinds and blankets to help insulate from the cold. The plastic was still in place, so I had no choice but to peek through the blinds and I saw a lady standing on the front step, clipboard in hand.

Our eyes met briefly before I let the blinds close again. I didn’t say a word, just turned around and went back to where Lucas and Cami were sitting. Lucas was irritated when I told them who was outside and said they didn’t mention anything about stopping by today when he spoke with them the day before. Cami was already stressed, and her anxiety shot through the roof. Lucas and I both reminded her that she didn’t have to answer the door. She calmed a little bit, but when the woman knocked again, louder this time, Cami headed towards the door.

I walked with her, reminding her what I had literally JUST SAID- that she doesn’t have to answer questions or let her in the house. I could see she was on the verge of tears as she reached out to open the door, so I grabbed her phone and pulled up the play store to download an app. I heard them talking, and I tried to hurry but the download seemed to take FOREVER

“If you are going to talk to her, at least record it!” I told her as I handed her the phone. Then I grabbed my backpack and headed to the bathroom, figuring this would be a good time for me to brush my teeth and finish putting on my makeup.

I listened to their conversation as they walked through the house. I could hear the judgement in the woman’s voice as she questioned Cami. Cami agreed to let her in, and walked her through the house to show her the girls’ room. She made a derogatory comment about the dog shit on the living room floor. It was Laci’s job to clean up after Jackie’s cute little chihuahua, Jax- and she had really been slacking!

I will admit that I had a few smart ass remarks to what I was hearing and I tried my best to stay out of it. She was right behind Cami as they walked into the kitchen. She looked in the bathroom at me and asked my name. I was short with her when I told her. She asked why I was there, and I told her we were going to the food pantry and shut the door. I heard Cami tell her that I was there to get them to go vote as she walked her to the door.

I was proud of myself for keeping my cool. I had so much that I wanted to say, but I knew that my words would fall on deaf ears. I told Lucas and Cami that I would stop back and I walked to the food pantry. I was frustrated and needed to take a walk, then I saw that case worker at the gas station. She was parked by the gas pumps, using paper towels to clean the bottom of her shoes with a disgusted look on her face. I had no doubt that she was thinking about Cami and Lucas’ house. That just pissed me off more.

After I grabbed the food, I asked the ladies if Brody was in his office. They could tell that I was upset. They told me that he wasn’t in, but as I turned around to leave, I saw him pulling in to the parking lot.

Brody is the high-risk unit probation officer for Benton County. He’s a good dude… the kind of probation officer that people respect, because he is fair and he’s not trying to catch anyone up on bullshit. I wasn’t on probation at the time, but I still went to see him from time to time. We have good conversations about life and I’d like to think he respects me in return, because he knows I’m not on bullshit.

I was fighting back tears when I walked up to him before he even had a chance to get his stuff out of the car. I didn’t even try to keep my voice down as I talked to him about Lucas and Cami and that case worker. He didn’t know them but he listened to me patiently as I unloaded my frustrations. See, it’s one thing for someone to pick on me, hurt me, try to break ME… but I can NOT stand the thought of anyone hurting the people that I love…

They had already taken my children, right? So I didn’t have the motivation to bite my tongue like I did when I was fighting for my family. I’ve always thought that was rather risky for them to do… Obviously they didn’t know me when I was younger!!

I can’t remember everything I said, but I do remember yelling that they (DHS) needed to leave my friends alone, and how they didn’t know their head from their asses when it comes to actually helping people. I yelled about the people that have my sons and the $1000 they get paid in adoption subsidies every month per kid. He motioned for me to calm down, looking behind me. I turned around and saw that case worker walking from her car to the door.

“That’s the bitch right there! I am more qualified for her job than she is! Except you couldn’t pay me enough to steal people kids!”

She sneered at me before she turned to walk through the door. I turned back to Brody and he kind of chuckled as he told me again to calm down. The smile on his face caught me off guard, and I let out a big sigh and said, “Well, its’ true.”

We stood there talking for a few minutes more as my blood pressure slowly returned to normal. I apologized for yelling at him, and he said he understood. I know he really doesn’t. Very few people truly do.

Why?

Later that same day, I went back to Cami and Lucas’ house. The girls were home from school, and I pulled Laci aside to talk to her. With Lucas’ permission, I had to ask about the accusations. And once Laci started answering my questions, I stopped and asked if it was okay to record our conversation. I still have that recording.

Laci told me that the case worker had pulled her out of class again that afternoon. She shared with us that the first time she was pulled out of class for almost 2 hours. And that day, she had been pulled out of class again for another hour. Strangely though, she said the case worker didn’t ask her anything more about the allegations she had made…

Laci said the case worker spent the entire hour asking her about me and Jim. She asked about my relationship with their family and if I lived with them. She made the comment to Laci that she didn’t make $1000 a week, which was interesting because I didn’t say anything to Laci about my conversation with Brody… Laci also said that the case worker told her “not to listen to me, because I am crazy.”

Isn’t that nice? But that’s not all…

It was a couple weeks later when I stopped back at Cami and Lucas’ house. They had let me know that the assessment came back unfounded, but when I got there Cami was excited to show me the report they had gotten in the mail.

I sat down with the envelope and pulled out the packet of paperwork. I read it quietly while Cami made dinner, and bust out laughing when I got to the part she was waiting for me to read… I could hardly believe it, but there it was right there in black and white!

Written as if she were quoting me directly… “This is food bank day. Suck my food box dick.”

Wow! As absurd as it was, her sad attempt at talking shit caught on and became an inside joke. I laughed it off, because anyone that knows me would know it was completely ridiculous! And Lucas and Cami were standing right there! They will tell you that I didn’t say anything like that!

So I tried to brush it off, but then one night I had a genius idea! I spent way more time than I would like to admit creating a t-shirt image for “suck your food box dick” the way I saw it in my mind. I put together a couple different options and we even polled our friends to see which font was the best. I am interested to hear what you think, so don’t let me down…

By the way, that’s not all she had to say about me…

https://youtube.com/shorts/Jemm_Z_gtmY?feature=share

But Wait… There’s More!

Just in case you were feeling kinda skeptical. Like this was just some fluke, an isolated incident of ridiculousness…

I also wanted to share this allegation reported against me back in 2021…

…This report Supervisor Mindy Druschel to grant the child protective worker CONFIDENTIAL ACCESS to Jim’s children. This means they are able to pull Jim’s kids out of class and question them for as long as they deem necessary, behind closed doors, without a parent’s permission.

Because I was allegedly observed “smoking out of a metal curved pipe, exhibiting “jerky” movements, and scratching at my skin…”

When the caller (quite obviously the former neighbor who was always really fake nice) said our “home” was raided… he or she must be referring to the day that the City of Vinton destroyed and stole everything we owned, including the organic medicinal herb garden (NOT marijuana) from Jim’s property in the name of “nuisance abatement” (Read about their Legal Theft.)

I know for a fact that man never saw me smoke anything out of a “curved metal pipe,” but I do remember feeling watched and looking over to see him staring at me through the blinds while I was pulling weeds and cleaning up outside just a few days before the allegation was made. Totally not creepy at all…

For the record, both of these allegations were NOT CONFIRMED.

Due Process

The following Introduction to CIVIL LIBERTIES WITHOUT EXCEPTION: NCCPR’s Due Process Agenda for Children and Families has been copied directly from the National Coalition For Child Protection Reform‘s website.

Suppose, when he was attorney general, William Barr had proposed anti-terrorism legislation with the following provisions:

Special anti-terrorism police could search any home without a warrant – and stripsearch any occupant — based solely on an anonymous telephone tip.  Any occupant of the home could be detained for 24 hours to two weeks without so much as a hearing – and they’ll probably be detained far longer because, in the special anti-terrorism court set up by this legislation, all the judges are afraid to look soft on “terrorists.”

At that first hearing the detainees may – or may not – get a lawyer just before the hearing begins, and they almost never get effective counsel.

At almost every stage, the standard of proof is not “beyond a reasonable doubt” or even “clear and convincing” but merely “preponderance of the evidence,” the lowest standard in American jurisprudence, the same one used to determine which insurance company pays for a fender-bender. 

And in most states, all the hearings and all the records are secret.

Had Barr proposed such legislation, it’s reasonable to expect that civil libertarians would have responded with fury.

Yet this hypothetical anti-terrorism law already is the law governing the system we call “child welfare.”  And sadly, many who in other circumstances are quick to defend civil liberties either stand silent or support it.

Indeed, at a time when the racial bias of police forces is getting widespread attention, it’s urgent to understand that child protective services workers are also a police force.  The family police, as they should properly be called, have even more power than the police in blue uniforms.  A police officer can throw a Black child against a wall and frisk him.  A family police (CPS) caseworker can march right into that child’s home, interrogate him, stripsearch him, and take him away from his family on the spot.

The National Coalition for Child Protection Reform believes the only way truly to protect children is to demand civil liberties without exception. There can be no true child protection when a government agency is given virtually unchecked power, almost no accountability, and operates in secret. 

That is why enacting meaningful due process protections for families is even more important than improving the “services” they receive from child welfare agencies.

Since 2000, NCCPR has issued more than 30 reports on 20 state or local child welfare systems.  Below, with updates, are some of the due process recommendations from these various reports. (click link to download)

Many people are surprised to find out that getting placed on the child abuse registry doesn’t require a criminal conviction or even a court trial. In Iowa, accusations can be “founded” and added to the registry based on vague or unreliable evidence. This means someone can be labeled as an abuser without the chance to fully defend themselves, creating a system that’s prone to mistakes. Being on the registry can ruin a person’s reputation, making it hard to get a job, find housing, or maintain relationships—all without proof of criminal wrongdoing.

Often, reports of abuse or neglect are based on subjective opinions or hearsay. These reports can stem from misunderstandings or even personal conflicts between adults. Caseworkers analyze the information and decide whether to add someone to the registry, but their decisions can be influenced by biases, lack of training, or the overwhelming number of cases they handle. Mistakes in this process can have long-lasting consequences for the accused, even if the accusations aren’t entirely accurate.

Being listed on the child abuse registry can turn a person’s life upside down. It’s especially damaging for people who work in fields like education, healthcare, or childcare, where even a suspicion of abuse can end a career. But the impact goes beyond those industries—employers in any field might see the listing and assume the worst. This creates a situation where innocent people can’t move forward or rebuild their lives, trapping them in a cycle of punishment without proper evidence or due process.

Fixing the child abuse registry is crucial to protecting everyone’s rights. While it’s important to keep kids safe, the system also needs to do a better job of ensuring that families are not subjected to unnecessary stress and trauma. Most importantly, people need a clear and fair way to appeal their placement on the registry. Without these changes, innocent people will continue to face unnecessary harm, and the system will fail to deliver the justice it was meant to uphold.

To give a young, inexperienced worker the power of God, send her out on what she is convinced is a godly mission to rescue innocent children from the scum of the earth — knowing that there will be no penalty for removal and hell to pay if she leaves the child home and something goes wrong — and then expect her to exercise self-restraint is more than can be expected of most human beings.

Richard Wexler (May 2022) in “CIVIL LIBERTIES WITHOUT EXCEPTION:
NCCPR’s Due Process Agenda for Children and Families“

More information on the Child Abuse Registry and working to get your name cleared below.

Just the Facts, Ma’am!

I have written about cognitive biases and logical fallacies before. Repeating myself hear on these points seems redundant at this point. Either they are listening, or they aren’t… I am sick to my stomach about it, but I can’t force anyone to see the error in their ways.

“Stop saving us from our families. Save our families FOR us!”

– A youth in foster care

https://youtu.be/cegl1BZ-0tI?si=8OgfsA9sjnpU-B28

Falsely Accused?

And from Psychology Today… How to Stop False Accusations in their Tracks

Clearing Your Name

You need to be aware that there is a very limited 90 day window after the outcome of a child abuse assessment has been decided to take action in order to appeal the decision. Unfortunately, from what I have read, there are no easy avenues to appeal the information on the registry outside that timeframe.

How does it affect me if I am placed on the abuse registry?

Although these are two separate registries, if you have a “founded” abuse report on either one, you may not be able to work with children or dependent adults. With both, you may lose your job if you currently work with those groups of people. If you work with children or dependent adults, or if you apply for a job where you would, then the employer has a right to certain abuse information. They can find out if you are on the abuse registry. They must ask you to sign a release for them to check the registry.

What can I do if I think the HHS decision is wrong?

You can appeal the decision. If you believe you are not guilty of child abuse, you have 90 days to file an appeal from the date of the written notice finding that you have abused a child.

If you appeal a dependent adult abuse finding within 15 days, HHS cannot place you on the abuse registry until final agency action is taken. If you do not file an appeal within 15 days, then you have 60 days to appeal the dependent adult abuse decision, but your name will be placed on the registry until the final outcome of the appeal. You must send a written request for a correction of the child abuse or dependent adult abuse finding to HHS. If you do not send your request for an appeal of the decision within90 days for child abuse or six months for dependent adult abuse, you may not be able to get your name off the registry. Your appeal should say why you think your name should not be on the Registry and that you would like to have a hearing about the decision to put your name on the Registry. Be sure to include the incident number from the HHS decision.

I’m working now in a nursing home and have been placed on one of the abuse registries. Can I keep working?

Your employer can ask HHS to do an evaluation and see if you may still be able to work with children or dependent adults. If HHS says you cannot work with these groups of people, you may appeal this decision. Unlike the 90 days or six months to appeal a founded abuse report, you have just thirty days to appeal a decision by HHS that you may not work with children or dependent adults, or that you may not be the sole supervisor of them. You must send a written appeal and explain why you think you should be able to work with these groups of people. If you do not send an appeal within 30 days, your appeal might not be granted. In order for a late appeal to be granted, you must show what is called “good cause.” Good cause means you had a good reason for not filing an appeal on time.

Where can I go for help with an appeal?

Iowa Legal Aid may be able to help people with their appeals. Call 1-800-532-1275 to make an application for assistance.

Iowa Legal Aid provides help to low-income Iowans. 

To apply for help from Iowa Legal Aid:

• Call 800-532-1275.
• Iowans age 60 and over, call 800-992-8161.
• Apply online at iowalegalaid.org

Last Review and Update: Mar 17, 2023

What can I do if I do not agree with the finding in the Child Abuse Assessment Report?
If you are the person who is alleged to be responsible for the abuse (or one of them), you can appeal the decision.  You must file the appeal within 90 days of the decision. To file an appeal, you need to send a written and signed statement to the DHS Appeals Section, 1305 E Walnut Street, Des Moines, Iowa 50319-0114 (or file an appeal electronically, as explained below). The written statement needs to include the reason you don’t agree with the findings in the Assessment.
You can also appeal the decision electronically. There are online appeal forms, in English and Spanish, available at https://hhs.iowa.gov/programs/appeals/how-appeal.
If you are the subject of the report and believe some information is wrong in a Child Abuse Assessment, you can make a request for correction of the information.  This request is made to the local DHS office, whose address will be on the letter that comes with the Assessment.  You can only request a correction within 90 days of the decision.
An appeal and a request for correction are different things (but both have a 90 day deadline). If you have any questions, you should contact a private attorney.  

Who has access to Child Abuse Assessment Reports?
Child Abuse Assessment Reports are confidential and protected. Only certain people have access to the Reports. The people who have access to the Assessment Report depends on what type of finding is made in the Report. Generally, the parent, guardian, or a custodian of the child will have access. The court, certain agencies, or others may also have access.

How do I get a copy of a Child Abuse Assessment Report if I am an authorized person?
You can request a copy by filling out a “Request for Child and Dependent Adult Abuse Information” form and emailing, faxing, or mailing it to the Central Abuse Registry at the Iowa Department of Health and Human Services. You can get a copy of the form by going to https://hhs.iowa.gov/ and entering 470-3301 in the search box.  The email, fax, and mailing address for the Central Abuse Registry are on the top of the first page of the form.

If I am an authorized person or have a copy of a Child Abuse Assessment, can I share it with other people?
No! There are laws about who child abuse information can be shared with. It is a crime to share the information or release the documents to anyone who is not authorized to have access to the information. You can find more information about the rules against releasing or sharing child abuse information on the second page of the “Request for Child and Dependent Adult Abuse Information” form. Please talk to an attorney before you share child abuse information with anyone.

Last Review and Update: Oct 08, 2024

Check out the article from Rise Magazine (2020) Clearing Your Name After an Investigation: How to Seal and Amend Your Record.

The Children’s Bureau– an office of the Administration for Children and Families- reports that Child Welfare Information Gateway, a service of the Children’s Bureau, provides information about the laws governing the central registry in each state in the following summaries of state statutes:

Review and Expunction of Central Registries and Reporting Records summarizes state laws regarding central registries and the expungement of records, or review laws specific to Iowa.

Disclosure of Confidential Child Abuse and Neglect Records summarizes state laws regarding the protection of confidential child abuse and neglect records, or review laws specific to Iowa.

Per the Iowa DHHS website:

“The requestor will receive response from HHS informing if there IS or IS NOT a record of child abuse listing the person as responsible for a founded, registry placed child abuse assessment. Upon further request, the central abuse registry can provide more specific report data. Information regarding re-dissemination, criminal penalties, and appeals are included on the requesting form.”

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Swansea man jailed for making false armed robbery allegation

Anthony Dean Merriman, 52, of Eiddwen Road in Penlan, reported to South Wales Police in January 2024 that he had been robbed at knifepoint by Adam Phillips, a man who had previously reported Merriman for assault.

Merriman claimed that Phillips and another man had threatened him with a screwdriver, put the tool in his mouth, and stolen his wallet, medication and keys. He provided officers with the alleged weapon and stated he had washed his face with bleach to remove evidence.

Police launched a major investigation involving forensic work, CCTV checks and interviews. Phillips was arrested and spent 14 hours in custody. However, CCTV later proved he had not left his home on the night of the alleged incident. When questioned again, Merriman maintained his account and claimed to suffer from brain damage affecting his memory — a condition not supported by his medical records.

Merriman was arrested in February 2024 on suspicion of perverting the course of justice, and later pleaded guilty on the day his trial was due to begin.

At Swansea Crown Court, Judge Paul Thomas KC described Merriman’s actions as “malicious lies” intended to smear his friend’s name and waste police time. Judge Thomas said:

“What you did was quite simply wicked. You lied about being the victim of a serious crime and maintained that lie even when confronted with the evidence. You wasted hours of police time and caused an innocent man to be arrested.”

Detective Sergeant Samuel Lewis, South Wales Police, added:

“When a report is demonstrably false, we treat this very seriously. That sort of behaviour cannot be tolerated.”

Police said the investigation consumed at least 45 hours of officer time. Mr Phillips died in April last year, before a victim impact statement could be recorded.

Merriman was sentenced to three years in prison, serving up to half the sentence in custody before being released on licence.

Related stories from Swansea Bay News

South Wales Police say 160 guns surrendered to them during February amnesty
Initiative helps reduce weapon availability and potential harm across the region.

South Wales and Gwent Police roll out facial recognition app to frontline officers amid privacy concerns
New tech aims to support officer safety and efficiency, but civil liberties campaigners raise questions.

Carmarthenshire police officer honoured for heroic rescue from burning car
Officer commended for bravery after pulling man to safety in dramatic roadside incident.

Police offer ninja swords amnesty ahead of August ban
Public urged to surrender dangerous blades as new weapons legislation approaches.

#falseAllegations #Penlan #pervertingTheCourseOfJustice #SouthWalesPolice #Swansea

Global Council Launches Action Plan to Address Challenges Facing Men and Boys

Dr. Lloyd Hawkeye Robertson

President, The New Enlightenment Project

Correspondence: Dr. Lloyd Hawkeye Robertson (Email: [email protected])

Received: April 9, 2025

Accepted: April 9, 2025

Published: June 1, 2025

Abstract

This article reports on the unveiling of the “New York Declaration” by the International Council for Men and Boys during the 69th session of the UN Commission on the Status of Women. Framed as a complementary initiative to women’s rights, the declaration addresses disparities affecting males worldwide—including education, health, domestic violence, homelessness, and legal injustice. Drawing on expert testimony, personal narratives, and international legislative examples, the article situates the Council’s efforts within a global movement to reframe gender equality to include the experiences of men and boys. The piece outlines policy goals, statistical evidence, and ongoing committee work, emphasizing the need for balanced and inclusive approaches to gender justice.

Keywords: Child Custody Inequality, Domestic Violence Against Men, Educational Disparities, False Allegations, Gender Equity Initiatives, Homelessness Among Men, Media Representation of Men, Men’s Health Crisis, New York Declaration 2025, Shared Parenting Advocacy

Introduction

This article reports on the unveiling of the “New York Declaration” by the International Council for Men and Boys during the 69th session of the UN Commission on the Status of Women. Framed as a complementary initiative to women’s rights, the declaration addresses disparities affecting males worldwide—including education, health, domestic violence, homelessness, and legal injustice. Drawing on expert testimony, personal narratives, and international legislative examples, the article situates the Council’s efforts within a global movement to reframe gender equality to include the experiences of men and boys. The piece outlines policy goals, statistical evidence, and ongoing committee work, emphasizing the need for balanced and inclusive approaches to gender justice.

Main Text (Interview)

Author: Dr. Lloyd Hawkeye Robertson

On March 12, 2025, The International Council for Men and Boys unveiled its “New York Declaration” during the 69th session of the UN Commission on the Status of Women—a symbolic setting to spotlight the often-overlooked struggles of males worldwide. It was described as a “landmark declaration” by spokesman Larry Demarco, who explained, “The initiative seeks to tackle disparities in education, health, homelessness, and justice, not to compete with women’s rights but to complement them.”

The Council points to stark statistics: women now outpace men in educational attainment globally, while men face a life expectancy gap of five years, driven partly by higher rates of homicide (80% male victims), suicide (75%), workplace injuries (twice the rate of women), and homelessness (76%). Military conscription and child labor disproportionately burden males, yet support services—whether for mental health, domestic violence, or legal aid—remain scarce. Media portrayals don’t help, with men depicted negatively 69% of the time, according to the Council. During the press conference, Dr. Edward Bartlet, President of Stop Abusive and Violent Environments (SAVE) noted that the World Health Organization addresses women’s, but not men’s health. 

It was explained that there has been progress. In February 2025, India’s Kerala High Court challenged the bias in false allegation cases, ruling that a woman’s account isn’t automatically “gospel truth.” Spain’s Congress of Deputies debated how skewed domestic violence laws strain family ties, while Trinidad and Tobago launched a Men’s Bureau to address male-specific challenges. In the UK, the Centre for Social Justice’s Lost Boys report warned of a crisis among young men, and in Michigan, Governor Gretchen Whitmer signed a directive to boost male enrollment in higher education and skills programs.

Personal stories underscore the stakes. Ulysses Slaughter, who witnessed his father murder his mother at age 12, He said he became “anti-men” and became known as a “sexual violence rock star.” In 2021, however, his wife brought false allegations of abuse against him and his former allies in the women’s movement deserted him. He was left with “no support, no money and arrested,” but with the view that men may also be victims in need support. Dr. Don Hubin, chair of the National Counsel for Equal Shared Parenting, highlighted another angle: 85% of men see fatherhood as central to their identity, yet denied access to children drives divorced fathers’ suicide rates tenfold higher than average. States with shared parenting laws, he noted, see sharp drops in domestic violence.

The Council isn’t stopping at rhetoric. On-going committees were formed including one led by Robert Samery of Canada to combat false allegations and support male victims of domestic violence. Samery explained that the work of his committee will include drawing public attention to the outcomes of false allegations as well as to offer solutions to policymakers, both public and corporate in tackling “the current lack of understanding what men go through as either victims of domestic violence or false allegations.”

The New York Declaration aims to spark a global push for gender equality that includes men and boys—urging lawmakers to establish commissions, programs, and policies to close these gaps. As Demarco put it, it’s about balance, not rivalry.

Discussion

The New York Declaration marks a significant step in expanding global gender discourse to include the experiences of men and boys. Introduced during the UN Commission on the Status of Women, it underscores the need for a balanced approach to gender equity—one that recognizes male-specific issues without undermining progress for women.

By citing disparities in education, mental health, violence, and family law, the Council highlighted systemic gaps often left unaddressed. The declaration does not oppose women’s rights but seeks to complement them, urging a more inclusive conversation.

Examples from countries like India, Spain, and the U.S. suggest that change is possible through legal reform and targeted policy. Personal testimonies and the formation of focused committees, such as Robert Samery’s work on false allegations, show the initiative’s practical intent.

In sum, the declaration calls for a redefinition of gender equity—one that acknowledges and addresses the challenges men and boys face alongside those of women and girls.

Methods

None.

Data Availability

No datasets were generated or analyzed during the current article. All remains the intellectual property of the author and In-Sight Publishing.

References

(No external academic sources were cited for this interview.)

Journal & Article Details

• Publisher: In-Sight Publishing
• Publisher Founding: March 1, 2014
• Web Domain: http://www.in-sightpublishing.com
• Location: Fort Langley, Township of Langley, British Columbia, Canada
• Journal: In-Sight: Interviews
• Journal Founding: August 2, 2012
• Frequency: Four Times Per Year
• Review Status: Non-Peer-Reviewed
• Access: Electronic/Digital & Open Access
• Fees: None (Free)
• Volume Numbering: 13
• Issue Numbering: 2
• Section: B
• Theme Type: Idea
• Theme Premise: None
• Theme Part: 1
• Formal Sub-Theme: None
• Individual Publication Date: June 1, 2025
• Issue Publication Date: July 1, 2025
• Author(s): Dr. Lloyd Hawkeye Robertson
• Word Count: 522
• Image Credits: Photo by Michael Weibel on Unsplash
• ISSN (International Standard Serial Number): 2369-6885

Acknowledgements

None.

Author Contributions

None.

Competing Interests

The author declares no competing interests.

License & Copyright

In-Sight Publishing by Scott Douglas Jacobsen is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.
© Scott Douglas Jacobsen and In-Sight Publishing 2012–Present.

Unauthorized use or duplication of material without express permission from Scott Douglas Jacobsen is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links must use full credit to Scott Douglas Jacobsen and In-Sight Publishing with direction to the original content.

Supplementary Information

Below are various citation formats for Global Council Launches Action Plan to Address Challenges Facing Men and Boys.

American Medical Association (AMA 11th Edition)
Robertson LH. Global Council Launches Action Plan to Address Challenges Facing Men and Boys. June 2025;13(2). http://www.in-sightpublishing.com/robertson-global-men-boys-action

American Psychological Association (APA 7th Edition)
Robertson, L. H. (2025, June 1). Global Council Launches Action Plan to Address Challenges Facing Men and Boys. In-Sight Publishing, 13(2). http://www.in-sightpublishing.com/robertson-global-men-boys-action

Brazilian National Standards (ABNT)
ROBERTSON, L. H. Global Council Launches Action Plan to Address Challenges Facing Men and Boys. In-Sight: Interviews, Fort Langley, v. 13, n. 2, 2025. http://www.in-sightpublishing.com/robertson-global-men-boys-action

Chicago/Turabian, Author-Date (17th Edition)
Robertson, L. H. 2025. “Global Council Launches Action Plan to Address Challenges Facing Men and Boys.” In-Sight: Interviews 13 (2). http://www.in-sightpublishing.com/robertson-global-men-boys-action

Chicago/Turabian, Notes & Bibliography (17th Edition)
Robertson, L. H. “Global Council Launches Action Plan to Address Challenges Facing Men and Boys.” In-Sight: Interviews 13, no. 2 (June 2025). http://www.in-sightpublishing.com/robertson-global-men-boys-action

Harvard
Robertson, L. H. (2025) ‘Global Council Launches Action Plan to Address Challenges Facing Men and Boys’, In-Sight: Interviews, 13(2). http://www.in-sightpublishing.com/robertson-global-men-boys-action

Harvard (Australian)
Robertson, L H 2025, ‘Global Council Launches Action Plan to Address Challenges Facing Men and Boys’, In-Sight: Interviews, vol. 13, no. 2, http://www.in-sightpublishing.com/robertson-global-men-boys-action

Modern Language Association (MLA, 9th Edition)
Robertson, Lloyd Hawkeye. “Global Council Launches Action Plan to Address Challenges Facing Men and Boys.” In-Sight: Interviews, vol. 13, no. 2, 2025, http://www.in-sightpublishing.com/robertson-global-men-boys-action

Vancouver/ICMJE
Robertson LH. Global Council Launches Action Plan to Address Challenges Facing Men and Boys [Internet]. 2025 Jun;13(2). Available from: http://www.in-sightpublishing.com/robertson-global-men-boys-action

Note on Formatting

This document follows an adapted Nature research-article format, tailored for a scholarly article. Traditional sections such as Abstract, Keywords, Introduction, Main Text, and Discussion are complemented by supplementary sections including Methods, Data Availability, and References. This structured approach ensures both academic rigor and clear presentation of the content.

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Your mum’s false allegations to family court

It’s been a horrendous couple of days.

Yesterday I woke up to emails from your mum’s lawyers. Half asleep, my stomach tightened in reaction to what I dreaded would be inside… it was much worse that I thought possible.

Your mum has accused me of abuse. She is lying and maliciously exaggerating as a way of taking you from me. She doesn’t want us to have a relationship, or even develop a friendship.

I’m writing this on my phone on the train. I’m crying, it’s humiliating. Keeping busy is the only thing I can do to try to cope.

Everything I’ve prepared for and patience I’ve given to your mum is meaningless against her lies.

I treated her with care and looked after you both. You are precious to me. She is trying to destroy me and steal you from me.

All I can think about is how I won’t be able to look after you in a time of need and how she’s doing everything she can to ruin our relationship.

My hands are shaking. My body won’t release from panic mode. I’m a complete wreck.

If you need help 🆘

I understand how life can get really really hard. Please seek help if you’re struggling. There are many organisations that can lend an ear and offer compassion and privacy at your time of need.

Please do not suffer on your own. We all go through rough periods in our lives and may need support to see that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Contact Samaritans (UK) or one of the other organisations if you’re having suicidal or difficult thoughts.

I have compiled a list of organisations that support men and women in the UK. You can also google for support where you are in the world.

Listen through the podcast

https://open.spotify.com/episode/53F7fcXgUA1jCYxmcr3yZP?si=XkwVNoycRQeVW5qfXFQ2BA

#brokenFamily #dad #dadLife #daughter #falseAllegations #family #familyCourt #fatherSRights #fatherhood #hostileCoparent #hostileMother #myGirl #myLittleOne #myLove #parentalAlienation #parenting