Charlie Stross
I'd like to be able to call Kier Starmer the C-word in public but understandably this might offend a lot of people, so instead I'm going to call him an Unrinsed Fleshlight.
Feb 5 at 11:51amWeb
Show threadTane Piper ⁂Feb 5

@cstross Why?

A spade is a spade.

I once called Cameron a cunt to his face while he was filming with a BBC news crew on Princes St. I wonder if it's in the archives?

Show threadFazal MajidFeb 5
@tanepiper @cstross because it is extremely insulting to women to have parts of their anatomy compared to Starmer, just it would be invidious towards excrement to call him a shit.
Show threadTane Piper ⁂Feb 5

@fazalmajid @cstross In Scotland, we have a very different relationship to the word

https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Cunt+(Scottish+Definition)

Society does a lot more *actual* harm than a word causes

Urban Dictionary: Cunt (Scottish Definition

Used widely in the Scottish dialect to replace the word "person", not necessarily always used in a derogatory manner. Also replaces words which end in "one", referring to another person.

Urban Dictionary
Show threadAdrianoFeb 5
@tanepiper Dunno, he gives off a plasticky, yellowed vibe that real vaginas do not have. @cstross
Show threadTane Piper ⁂Feb 5
@adriano @cstross Dick Cheese
Show threadCharlie StrossFeb 5
@adriano @tanepiper Unrinsed fleshlight!
Show threadAdrianoFeb 5
@cstross yeah, your description is onto something. @tanepiper
Show threadCharlie StrossFeb 5
@tanepiper Yeah, but we're in Scotland, where "cunt" is an affectionate term of endearment between friends: a lot of my readers are in the Excited Snakes of America where you can be mistaken for an incel if you use it as an expletive. Regional usage varies!
Show threadColman ReillyFeb 5
@cstross @tanepiper basically, more cultural imperialism. Everywhere is America.
Show threadCharlie StrossFeb 5
@Colman @tanepiper It's my biggest market: don't want to piss off my fans so they stop buying my books. The cunts.
Show threadPaul_IPv6Feb 5

@cstross @Colman @tanepiper

ah, the puritanical roots don't ever seem to get removed... no sense of humor...

Show threadHighlandLawyerFeb 5
@tanepiper @cstross
Someone of warmth, depth, and that a lot of people get excited to see.
Show threadPeter BrownFeb 5
@HighlandLawyer @tanepiper @cstross 😂😂🤭
Show threadJaime RobertsonFeb 5

@cstross @tanepiper I learned that usage several years ago while having dinner with you and @feorag in Colorado*. She received a one word text from a friend back home. I figure it had to be around 4am back there.

*There was a 4th person who had given you a ride. Afterwards I was stopped by a cop because I had forgotten my headlights. Fortunately was not ticketed

Show threadDaveFeb 5

@cstross @tanepiper the NZ broadcasting standards people do an annual survey of which words are least acceptable in any company (let alone polite company). This year the N-word far outstrips the C-word, with the F-word a distant third, closely followed by the Female Dog-word.

... this news generally sends me off on a tangent about how it's a sign of a sick society that the word "fuck" is considered offensive but the word "murder" is not...

Show threadMark HarrisFeb 6
@Daveosaurus @cstross @tanepiper Also, down here in Australasia (excluding Asia) it's pretty much regarded as punctuation.
Show threadeduqateFeb 5
@tanepiper @cstross It was probably in the Christmas tape, if they still do that these days.
Show threadD. G. MarshallFeb 5

@cstross

I'd call him a cunt, but he doesn't have the depth or warmth.

Show thread✨Based Plant🎸Feb 5

@davidtheeviloverlord @cstross I'm looking for the right spot to tell you, dear David, your bio just made me laugh out inappropriately loud in a semi crowded socially leftist open space - Arnhem's Rozet library coffee place 'A Beautiful Mess'.

My bar for inappropriateness, being Dutch, an activist and weird, is pretty high. As friends will abashedly testify.

The cheese knife sealed the deal.

Were you stonded™ (an OG Aickism) at time of writing? One has to wonder.

Show thread✨Based Plant🎸Feb 5

@davidtheeviloverlord @cstross

Sharing w @aick.bsky.social in hopes this WILL attract their digits hither.

Thanks for making me lol (twice, composing this too) 🥰🪴🥾🧀🔪

Show threadD. G. MarshallFeb 5

@plantfeest @cstross

No, I wasn't stoned. My imagination goes to weird places without that.

It was inspired by all those people who fought against covid with inadequate equipment.

All the doctors and nurses given garbage bags instead of surgical gowns (while someone made a fortune out of supplying the garbage bags).

All the "essential workers" who were so needed to keep us going, and yet not important enough to be well-paid for their essential work.

Show thread✨Based Plant🎸Feb 5

@davidtheeviloverlord @cstross

Thank you for elucidating 🤗
What a great gift to have such an imagination 🤍

Show threadNikkileah 🎮🚄🏳️‍⚧️🇬🇧Feb 5
@cstross I think you hit the spot perfectly. Permission to nick unrinsed fleshlight?
Show threadCharlie StrossFeb 5
@Nikkileah Reuse (of the term, not the item) is encouraged!
Show threadM SchommerFeb 5
@cstross
Ugh. This stinks.
Show threadElricFeb 5
@cstross What's an unrinsed fleshlight or two between friends?
Show threadFish Id Wardrobe ⁂Feb 5
@elricofmelnibone @cstross disease vector?
Show threadElricFeb 5
@fishidwardrobe @cstross I can see the headlines already. Source of 2038 pandemic traced back to unrinsed fleshlight shared by friends.
Show threadAngus McIntyreFeb 5
@cstross “Unrinsed Fleshlight” suggests that at least somebody enjoyed him, and I don't know if that really applies to Starmer, who appears to disappoint EVERYONE.
Show threadJuha AuteroFeb 5
@angusm I would recommend "Unrinsed Temu Version Fleshlight".
Show threadHugo MillsFeb 5
@cstross I can understand why you'd want to call him a C******vative, but you're right, it really is offensive.
Show threadCharlie StrossFeb 5
@darkling In Scotland it's a gender-neutral synonym for "person", but unfortunately Scottish vernacular usage is fucking unacceptable in most every other cunting country, ye ken?
Show threadHugo MillsFeb 5
@cstross I know. There was a rather good documentary about the word some years ago, that went into great detail on how it's seen around the world (and highlighted the fond usage in Scotland and the East End).
Show threadDziadekFeb 5

@cstross

You’re right the man’s a Chocolate Teapot.

Show threadDziadekFeb 5

@cstross

Starmer coming in for flak over the Mandleson farrago is ridiculous. It’s an insignificant example of his bad decisions. Probably ranking about 20th in the list of reasons why he’s a useless [expletive deleted].

Show threadFish Id Wardrobe ⁂Feb 5
@DziadekMick @cstross
It's because of Mandleson and Starmer that we took on all this Palantir stuff without it going to tender — and Epstein had a 50% share in the deal…
Show threadDonald RoyFeb 5

@fishidwardrobe @DziadekMick @cstross

This will be covered by the enquiry - over which #downingstreet lost control yesterday - thanks to a second 'revolt of the dames' !

Show threadDarkedgeFeb 5
@DziadekMick @cstross @fishidwardrobe oh they have some blame but so do the bloody Tories, we didn't have any palantir contracts till they started in COVID with the NHS, the rest have spring from that non tendered bullshit*t
Show threadFish Id Wardrobe ⁂Feb 5
@Darkedge @DziadekMick @cstross sure, but my point is that the mandelson business isn't penny-ante. it's damning.
Show threadDarkedgeFeb 5
@DziadekMick @cstross @fishidwardrobe all of it should be damming.. utter corruption and the contracts should be reviewed asap.
Show threadRachel RawlingsFeb 5
@cstross Thank you from America, where those of us with cunts really don't like it used as an insult, and thinking of Starmer as a lifeless lump of silicone filled with crusty spooge makes plenty of sense.
Show threadDr David MillsFeb 5
@cstross I thought he was a conservative.
Show threadMarcus Marcius MarcellusFeb 5
@dtl @cstross Now, what did Charlie say about using the C-word?!
Show threadDr David MillsFeb 5
@marcas @cstross I apologise for offending sensitive eyes.
Show threadJ.J.Fux 1660-1741Feb 5
@cstross After finding out what a fleshlight was (on Amazon), I had no desire to find out what an unrinsed one looked like. 😱
Show threadJames HenstridgeFeb 5
@cstross In Australia, we've had ministers using the word against other politicians in parliament: https://www.theguardian.com/world/2014/may/15/christopher-pyne-denies--c-word-against-bill-shorten
Christopher Pyne denies using c-word in attack on Bill Shorten

Education minister says he called Labor 'a grub' after tape of question time appears to show him using offensive term

The Guardian
Show threadChaucerburntFeb 5
@jamesh @cstross there was a famous incident involving Gough Whitlam, future Prime Minister. One of the rural MPs declared "I am a country member" and Gough immediately responded "We remember".
Show threadJoe WFeb 5
@jamesh @cstross @chaucerburnt In Germany it was the guy who proceeded to become foreign minister in the 2000s (Fischer) who once (90s?) interjected (max. 8 words) "Mit Verlaub Herr Präsident, Sie sind ein Arschloch" (with respect, Mr president, you are an asshole).
Show threadReynardo the RedFeb 6
@drchaos @jamesh @cstross @chaucerburnt Look, if Mozart sang about it, it can't be rude!
Show threadDrew 🇵🇭 ♾️Feb 5

@cstross Ooh, the Offend word...
I'm going to quote Stephen Fry at you:

“It's now very common to hear people say, 'I'm rather offended by that.' As if that gives them certain rights. It's actually nothing more... than a whine. 'I find that offensive.' It has no meaning; it has no purpose; it has no reason to be respected as a phrase. 'I am offended by that.' Well, so fucking what."

TL;DR: Call a cunt a cunt.

Show threadGracious  AnthraciteFeb 5

@cstross

Eeewwww.

Show threadMark DennehyFeb 5
@cstross That's a better term given how much depth and warmth he's lacking.
Show threadNemoFeb 5
@cstross
What's he done, now?
Show threadCharlie StrossFeb 5
@iinavpov Outed himself as a spineless Peter Mandelson enabler. (Mandelson, in turn, was a Friend of Epstein.)
Show threadNemoFeb 5
@cstross
Some people overstay their welcome, and somehow get kept in way, way beyond their sell by date...
Show threadDarwin WoodkaFeb 5

@cstross

Please, cunts are warm and deep. Starmer is neither.

Show threadCharlie StrossFeb 5
@darwinwoodka Starmer is, however, plastic and sour-smelling. So "unrinsed fleshlight" fits perfectly!
Show threadDavid SFeb 5

@cstross

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H_1ntrrjvxQ

Red Dwarf - Rimmer - You are a total, total

YouTube
Show threadVolineFeb 5
@cstross
Starmer is a cunt. And I support Palestine Action.