My Reflection Of 2025

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2025, was indeed a year.

The year started out great, I worked on New Year’s Day as usual in the Department of Medical and in April, I entered into my final posting, the Emergency and Trauma Department. In May, I attended my best friend’s wedding.

In July, I completed my internship and received my full registration under the Malaysian Medical Council (MMC) as well as my Annual Practicing Certificate (APC) and started locumming during my holidays back home and I also started floating as a Medical Officer in the Department of Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery. It was a steep learning curve for me, transitioning from a House Officer into a Medical Officer. The anxiety increased and I was constantly tired. I remembered my love for medicine and service fading to the point I took a long break in October to recharge and reflect.

2025 was also the year, I handed in my 30-days-notice to resign but revoke it the following day. Perhaps it was too much for me, although the working environment and superiors were more than sweet and kind. Physically, I was catching up but mentally, I was fading away.

Looking back, thankfully, I did not. I celebrated my birthday before travelling back to Kuching the following day. 2025 was also the year when my relationship ended. It was a good and lovely 19 months. Perhaps, it was just time.

November was the month I received my letter stating that I will receive my placement and I needed to report for duty on the 24th of November 2025. One thing for sure, I was sure to continue serving in Sarawak. The place? Unknown yet.

On the 18th of November, I found out that I would need to report to the Health Division of Bintulu on the 24th of November 2025.

Bintulu, that’s around 7 hours drive from Kuching. I didn’t have a place to stay nor a car and my things were all unpacked and I was just extremely busy. I packed whatever I could, shipped some boxes back home, those that I managed to do and on the 23rd of November, I flew to Bintulu.

Thankfully, the doctor-in-charge of the Health Division was kind enough to let me know which place or clinic that I would be placed at.

Yes, clinic setting. I did not apply for a clinic setting which so happened to be what many others in my batch longed for. Surprisingly, I got it!

Considering the state of my mental health, I was more than ecstatic to accept it.

2025 was also the year I moved and started working in a new place and also one that speaks a different dialect. I started doing oncalls as well and surprisingly, adapted very quickly into a General Practitioner’s setting as well as the new place. I also met another colleague who was previously my medical officer in the Department of Obstetrics & Gynaecology when I was a House Officer and made new friends and acquaintances.

Overall, 2025 was a mixed of both good and bad experiences. I felt both the highs and also went through a period of low mood. New people entered my life, some stayed and some also left. Nevertheless, I am thankful for all the experiences I went through as well as the lessons learnt.

Hopefully, I can learn from the errors that I have made and grow, making me into a better person.

Thank you 2025. Now, it’s time to move on, to 2026.

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My New Year’s Eve – 2025

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31st December 2025. I was NOT oncall.

It was a Wednesday and it was a normal working day. Hence, at 7:45am, I left to work as usual and was there by 8am. It was the New Year’s Eve. I thought that maybe, just maybe, there would be less patients in the clinic.

The day started off smoothly. Surprisingly, there were many patients who came for their follow up followed by additional patients (the defaulters and walk-ins) but it was manageable. We went about our day, seeing each patient and when lunch time came, we went for our lunch break.

At 2pm, we went about our work, seeing patients as usual and I was taking my time with each patient. The patient load in the afternoon shift was lower compared to the morning shift and both my colleagues were done with their patient load.

Suddenly, a staff nurse barged into my room saying that there is a massive accident that just occurred nearby, 2 patients were already brought in and 2 more were on their way. They called in all available doctors (which were only the three of us) to help out.

I told my colleagues to head out and help out first while I rushed through the consultation of my final patient. After that, I rushed to the tiny Emergency Room of the clinic. My colleague who was oncall on that day was already attending to a child. I went over to the other patient, an old lady and did my primary survey and fast scan.

She was desaturating badly under room air and needed oxygen support. She had an open skull fracture, multiple abrasion and laceration wounds over her face, upper and lower limbs as well as rib fractures and on top of that, her left leg appears shortened and she has a closed fracture over her right lower limb.

I didn’t think that we should proceed with an x-ray at our clinic even if we had the facility at that time, the best would be to send them straight away to the hospital because she could deteriorate further any time. Thankfully, her GCS (Glasgow Coma Scale) was full.

I was focused on my patient, stabilising while referring her to the specialists of various specialities as well as the emergency physician that when I finally got ready to transfer her out that I noticed the child that my other colleague was attending to. The child’s right arm was crushed and the distal limb of his right arm was pale and his right lung was obvious till mid-chest.

Just how in the world is he still awake? The poor child was crying out in pain…

Judging by the state of his and my patient’s injuries, it was definitely high impact.

The story was, the whole family were travelling back from Miri to Kuching. Both the parents were sitting in front and the father was driving whilst the two children and their grandmother were sitting at the back.

The father claimed that he was not speeding but as he was about to make a u-turn at a junction, he claimed to have hit the curb and the car turned many times into the other lane before finally stopping and the grandmother and one of the child were thrown out of the car.

It sounded like a very high impact collision. Thankfully, the parents and the other child were well and unscathed.

We had to transfer both patients in two separate ambulances to the Red Zone of the Emergency Department at Hospital Bintulu as one ambulance could only transport one patient at a time.

Upon arriving, I met my colleague and friend at the Red Zone of the hospital. After we have handed over to the medical officers and specialist in the Emergency Department, we headed back together. However, upon reaching back, there was another patient who came in who was extremely tachypnoiec.

Oh, here we go again… Another Red Zone referral…

We stabilised the patient and referred her to hospital again. The clock was already showing 10pm when we left. The journey to the hospital takes about 45 minutes to an hour for each journey and the both of us have yet to have our dinner. This time, I choose to accompany her for the referral, mainly for emotional support and also in hopes of stopping by McDonald’s to get a takeout.

Yes, we did stop by McDonalds after sending the patient safely to the hospital and yes, we used the ambulance and went through drive-through.

By the time we left, it was already 11pm. The journey takes around 45 minutes to an hour and it was raining heavily. At this point, I was wondering if we would end up celebrating New Year’s in the ambulance.

Me and my friend ate in the ambulance on the way back while we joked and exchange oncall stories. Thankfully, we reached a little before midnight. The day was completely unexpected, not to mention tiring but it was nice to have spent it with a friend.

It’s still the beginning of 2026, so if I’m not too late, Happy New Year!

If you are travelling anytime soon or in the future, do drive safely, stay within speed limits especially if it is raining. Remember to get your car and tyres checked before any long distance journey and NEVER drive under the influence.

Stay safe always!

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2026 – The Beginning

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First of all, Happy New Year! I hope you have had a great start to this year and if you have any New Year’s Resolutions planned, I hope that you will be able to stick throughout the year.

I did not have any New Year’s Resolutions planned as I usually did the previous years. Mainly because I have just moved to a new place, settling in with things still pending in Kuching, trying to adapt to my working environment as well as picking up on new skills.

Thus, New Year’s Resolution? It’ll come as the year progresses.

My New Year’s Eve was spent at work and mainly in the ambulance with a dear friend as well as work colleague, however, that is a separate post for another time.

As usual, since I’ve started working as a doctor in 2023, I’ve always made it a point to work on New Year’s Day, a habit which I’ve adapted from my dad ever since he has started working at the age of 18.

However, New Year’s Day is a public holiday here in Sarawak. Thus, I was allocated as the oncall medical officer on the 1st of January as well as on the 2nd of January. Per oncall shift is from 8am on that day till 8am the following day (which means, mine ended at 8am on the 3rd of January).

My first case began with a case of wound breakdown over the right wrist, which the patient chose not to seek hospital treatment followed by another case of upper gastrointestinal bleed which was sent to hospital. This was then followed by another case of possible acute appendicitis which the patient and family decided to “discharge against medical advice” because they wanted to seek treatment in their hometown considering they were travelling and happened to be in the same area.

Upon returning home, I was called back for a case of breakthrough seizure likely secondary to under-dosage of medications. The patient had three episodes of seizure that day followed by a regular 1-2 monthly episodes. Hence, referred and sent to hospital.

Finally, I can return home. Time to get some rest since I would be working the next day. Shortly after, I was called back, a patient sustained laceration wound over the medial aspect of his antecubital fossa. Mechanism of injury? Unknown and he was in an extremely drunken state.

Otherwise, he was stable. Sadly, my medical assistant at that time could not be contacted to escort the patient to hospital and the family members did not have their own transportation.

If only, he was fully awake, I would have triaged him to green zone. However, transportation issues… Thankfully, the patient’s family has an uncle who was willing to send. The only thing was he needed some time to arrive due to the heavy rain and slippery roads.

I didn’t feel good leaving the patient behind although he was stable. Thus, I stayed till 4am until his uncle came and the patient himself had woken up.

After that, I went back home and straight away gotten ready for work since it’s a working day and I am still oncall.

The following day on the 2nd of January, went by smoothly during office hours with referrals here and there but it was manageable.

In the afternoon, another patient came in for symptomatic anaemia secondary to abnormal uterine bleeding with newly diagnosed cervical carcinoma. Her haemoglobin level was 5, who again, refused hospital referral claiming she visited the clinic for fever and not for her anaemic symptoms. After much convincing and discussion with my specialist, the patient still opted to “discharge against medical advice”.

Which makes me wonder… Why in the world?…

This was followed by dinner with my friend. I remembered thinking to myself that evening that maybe… just maybe… I would have a cold night. Enough of referrals.

However, at 11:30pm on the 2nd of January 2026, I received a call from my medical assistant that a patient presented to the clinic breathless with an SpO2 of 50% under room air, started on high flow mask and at best, it is only 90%.

Sounds like an impending intubation and CPR case.

I called up my friend immediately as I rushed to the car as she lives closer to the clinic. I needed all the help I could get for this patient. The roads were slippery and it was a rainy night. Yet, I sped. Thankfully, my friend had already arrived before me.

The patient?

I remembered seeing this patient on the 23rd of December 2025. At that time, his lungs already had crepitations with reduced air entry over the right side and yet he chose to “discharge against medical advice”. I remembered telling him that he would collapse if he didn’t go and true enough, here he was… sitting up, gasping for air.

His vitals? Blood pressure was sky high, lungs filled with crepitations but no pedal oedema, lines were set, no ECG done but we didn’t have time to waste…

I called up the Emergency Physician in the nearest hospital (which is an hour away), presented shortly and informed that we had to proceed with intubation because he was too tachypnoeic.

We prepared for intubation, informed the family members as well as explained the risk of CPR and death. The family understood and agreed.

Intubation… This was a difficult intubation for the guy was a very large guy with hardly any neck visible.

But before we could start, his GCS dropped and so did his heart rate, I started CPR while my friend attempted to crash intubate. We attempted to crash intubate and both times, it failed… I called up the Emergency Physician again and told her that we were 30 minutes into the CPR, she told me to call off after the current cycle.

My first death at a new workplace and on the third day of the year at 0027H, 3rd of January 2026.

Then, I proceeded to complete my notes for the family members to bring to the police station to lodge a police report and broke the news to the family. I was calm and so were the patients’ family. After that, I called up the Emergency Physician to thank her and then, I broke down.

I broke down because had he gone on the 23rd itself, he wouldn’t have to gone through this.. He lives alone and his so-called family members aren’t even his biological family members but neighbours and friends… I broke down because I also felt defeated… We tried our best with such limited resources and manpower…

Yet, I couldn’t save him…

If you have YET to come up with a New Year’s Resolution… At least consider this, adhere to your regular check-ups if you have any… Stay compliant to your medications, diet restrictions or any fluid restrictions if you do have…

And if something is off or not right, please RUSH to the nearest clinic or better, the hospital… Because there is only so much that we can do with such limited resources in a community clinic.

Otherwise, I wish that you have a Blessed 2026 filled with love, beautiful memories and wonderful opportunities.

Remember to have fun and do enjoy it but please do so, responsibly.

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• Enjoying The Journey – Housemanship Diaries

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The severe floods that happened in Bintulu recently are a clear indication of the effects of climate change

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