What a Washing Machine Revealed About Community
The gate entrance at Boulder Gardens Sanctuary
About six weeks after I moved off the land project in Arizona, I got a text message telling us the community washer we used was broken and that we owed money for repairs. Not a conversation. Not a check-in. A bill. Hereâs what it said (redacted):
âThe washer you used is broken. It will be repaired and per our agreement you pay if you break it. Weâll let you know the cost.â
What struck me first was the tone. It framed the situation as a transaction, not a relationship.
A bill, not a conversation. And for the record, there was no such âagreement.â
Our last community in Ojai went through seven washers in seven years, so nothing about a machine breaking surprised me. What did surprise me was being held responsible for a community-donated washer six weeks after weâd already left. (Alsoâhow does one even âbreakâ a washing machine? You push the Start button and⌠broken?)
But it was never about the money.
It wasnât even about the washing machine.
It was the shiftâfrom trust to accusation, from community to contract, from relational living to transactional living. And transactional living is the quiet death of any community.
Welcome vs. Keep Out
Iâve lived in places where âWelcomeâ is more than a wordâitâs an ethic.
Boulder Gardens is one of them.
Most private properties in this part of the desert are covered in No Trespassing, Private Property, and Keep Out signs (often justified as âliabilityâ). But Boulder Gardens is different. Just today a friendly bicyclist rolled up and said:
âYours is the only private land anywhere around here with positive signage. Everywhere else itâs warnings.â
Heâs right. As you enter Boulder Gardens you see:
âWelcome to Boulder Gardens.â
Soft colors. Friendly lettering.
No gates. No threats. No barbed wire.
Just welcome.
Garths sign in and telephone welcome
Where people talk about trust but behave likeâ land-lordsâ, you begin to realize some places use the word âcommunityâ to describe what is essentially a work camp wrapped in spiritual vocabulary
and these are the neighbors
A Sanctuary Built on Service, Not Ownership
Garthâs Boulder Gardens is a square mile of desert that slowly became a sanctuary because people showed up with generosity instead of rules. Garth didnât believe in rent.
There are stories from the early days when he offered food, shelter, a place to wander, and a stocked communal fridgeâand what he asked in return was presence, kindness, and maybe a little help around the fire pit.
And hereâs a story that says more about leadership than any spiritual discourse ever could:
Once a week Garth would make his rounds across the property, stopping at every cabin, trailer, and tent. He collected everyoneâs dirty laundryâten people scattered across a square mile of desertâand hauled it all to the laundromat in town. He paid for every load himself with a pile of quarters, waited through the cycles, dried it, and returned it to each doorstep. Pickup and delivery. No charge, no fanfare. His generosity didnât stop at the property line.
I once watched him in a supermarket when a stranger approached and said, âGarth, do you remember me? I need a little help for food.â Garth didnât try to recall his face or make him prove anything. He simply reached into his pocket, pulled out the first bill his fingers touchedâmaybe $1, maybe $20, maybe $100âand handed it over without looking. Whatever it was, it was enough. Garth died with $202 in his bank account.
That is what leadership looks like in a real sanctuary:
service, not power;
humility, not hierarchy;
open hands instead of clenched fists.
Meanwhile, Back in ArizonaâŚ
Our deeper purpose on that Arizona land had been to help create a desert Sanctuary but quickly the current shifted, and we began to feel more like unpaid helpers or free labor. Our presence was needed, but our purpose wasnât seen. When the washer message came, it didnât begin anythingâit confirmed everything.
I responded gently and clearly with a two-page letter. I explained the washer had been donated, that weâd repaired it several times already, and that weâd been gone for over a month with no communication. I said we wouldnât be paying for repairs now that we were no longer living there.
When Worlds Collide
Community only works when everyone involved is living by the same principles.
If one person believes âsharedâ means collective stewardship and another believes âsharedâ means âuse my stuff but pay me if anything goes wrong,â then you already have two different worlds trying to occupy the same land.
Eventually the truth comes outâin a washing machine, a torn-up garden bed, a disagreement about labor, or the quiet realization that youâre trying to build a sanctuary while someone else is building a fiefdom. Sometimes the whole truth arrives in a short message about a broken machine.
Communities reveal themselves in the signs they put outâ
whether those signs hang on a fence
or arrive as a text message.
intentionalcommunity #gifteconomy #relationalnottransactional #bouldergardens #sanctuary #alternativeLiving #simpleliving #communityliving #degrowth #antiwork
https://redecker.vivaldi.net/2025/12/02/welcome-signs-and-warning-signs/
#Sanctuary #AlternativeLiving #antiwork #bouldergardens #CommunityLiving #degrowth #gifteconomy #IntentionalCommunity #relationalnottransactional #SimpleLiving
Rowan the Selfsame
NeeAnah đľđˇ
Rancho de la Libertad
Tradeless Earth
LynxLilly
Rubha Phoil
Anton F
Peaceful Village Community
redecker
Poor 'Possum