I just watched this video https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=EBpF8sWycQQ

And I did the updated questionnaire
https://pennstate.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_6r70Mz4uLRjvl78

Whenever I do these questionnaires, I always feel like I must be misinterpreting the questions, because I score so highly and I think, that can't be right. 167 is the threshold and I scored 279.

And I feel a bit bad that I had to lie that I Iive in the US to take the test.

But what I like about this video is the concept of the tricky family. Because I used to know someone who went through very obvious abuse and what I went through pales in comparison. But describing my family as a tricky family rather than an abusive family makes more sense.

The other thing about this test is a lot of the symptoms overlap with autism, so I'm back to getting imposter syndrome.

#complexptsd #schizoid #aces #mentalhealth #autism #actuallyautistic #CPTSD #childhoodabuse @autistics

PTSD doesn’t only come from war. For many of us, it comes from years of being unsafe—in our homes, our jobs, or under systems of unchecked power.

Recent events in MN hit hard for those of us with trauma histories. I wrote about how it reactivates my complex PTSD—and why we need to talk about this more.

🧵 Full blog post: PTSD Beyond the Battlefield: When National Trauma Triggers Personal Trauma https://sharonecathcart.wordpress.com/2026/01/22/ptsd-beyond-the-battlefield-when-national-trauma-triggers-personal-trauma/

#PTSD #TraumaInformed #ICE #ComplexPTSD #MentalHealth #Politics #Immigration

PTSD Beyond the Battlefield: When National Trauma Triggers Personal Trauma

Most people still assume PTSD only belongs to combat veterans. That idea misses a profound truth: PTSD is a reaction to overwhelming, unprocessed threat—and it doesn’t care whether the setting was …

Sharon E. Cathcart

It’s almost been four years since I made this song.

https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/lukeorion/not-fair-y

But it hasn’t stopped being relevant to my health and circumstances. I’m still struggling to survive and stay sheltered, my health is worse physically, and I’m still in the same lasting depression. As a disabled, queer trans person, who has a ton of trauma surrounding the ableist abuse I’ve experienced as long as I can remember, I used my coping skill of humor to come up with the title “Not fair-Y”.. I think you can say it multiple ways; “not fair, why?”, “not fairy”, and as it’s written, with a bit of an audible latch between the fair and the y. It started as just a few lines of poetry, as I prepared to try to sleep through the nightmare.

My lovely partner, @magicalgrrrl not only helped me stay fed during this time, but she also did the amazing guitar leads and harmonies (I don’t know how to play guitar… but she rocks!)..

Now we’re in this together and are working hard to be okay and get out of this situation, even when we shouldn’t because of our health. I hope sooner than later we can get some much needed recovery from all we’ve been through. Any streams are massively appreciated, and I hope you’ll check out my other stuff/look forward to when I can record & release my debut album, which is about many parts of complex post traumatic stress disorder from the perspective of an autistic trans person with an abusive mother.

Thank you for reading. It’s been hard to talk about this, so it means a lot that you’d care this much.
#complexPTSD #cptsd #mentalhealth #ptsd #DisabledArtist #Music #TransMusician #lgbtqia #disabled #indieMusic #InstrumentalMusic #AltRock #AlternativeMusic #bandcamp

If your mind doesn't work in pictures or an inner voice, and your experience of #trauma feels physically trapped and impossible to explain, this might help. A free thesis for you.
https://doi.org/10.5281/zenodo.17692334
#MentalHealthAwareness #AphantasiaResearch #Fleshbacks #ComplexPTSD
Aphantasia Is Not an Advantage in Long-Term Abuse: On the Trauma of Fleshbacks and the Myth of Coping and Defense Mechanisms

Core Claim: This thesis challenges the assumption that a non-visual mind offers protection from Complex PTSD, arguing it is a catastrophic error. Scope of the Second Edition: This version significantly expands the original argument into a complete theoretical framework. It establishes the concept of Panmodal Aphantasia—a total absence of simulated mental representation, including the inner voice (Anendophasia) and auditory recall (Anauralia). Through a longitudinal auto-phenomenological analysis of long-term abuse, it demonstrates that without the mind's representational buffers, trauma is concentrated entirely within the somatic system, transforming the philosophical concept of Cartesian dualism into a lived, physiological torture. Substantive Expansions in Second Edition: The Neuro-Energetic Mechanism: Details the Cortisol Bridge mechanism, arguing Panmodal Aphantasia structurally permits unmitigated exposure to stress hormones, reframing somatic disease as a neuro-energetic cost. The Structural Defense: Introduces a Dissociation Rebuttal and a Teleological Refutation, distinguishing this architecture from dissociation or evolutionary advantage. Forensic Critique: A new section critiques existing literature, demonstrating the Panmodal experience's distinction from SDAM, psychopathy, and the misattribution of apathy. Operational Reality: A new part details the lived experience, including the Manual Override, Somatic Imprisonment, and Functional Death. Systemic Context: Expands the critique to address Epistemic Injustice and Algorithmic Gaslighting as a form of systemic DARVO. Key Theoretical Contributions: Fleshbacks: The body's non-representational replay of agony. Paraconsistent Facticity: A conscious mind trapped as a witness to its own physical suffering. The Law of Conservation of Traumatic Affect: Trauma energy not processed representationally is conserved and compressed into somatic tissue. The Somatic Schism: The "Failed Kiss": The ultimate proof of the mind-body disconnection: conscious commands of comfort strike a "pane of glass" and fail to reach the body, transforming self-soothing into a witnessed failure that deepens the trauma. The body is not merely keeping the score; the body is consumed by the score. This work concludes that Panmodal Aphantasia constitutes a state of structural vulnerability, demanding a paradigm shift in trauma theory.

Zenodo
Longboarding by the river and thinking about all the plans that never turned out the way I hoped. The water moves slow and my wheels keep turning while I try to find momentum in the middle of quiet disappointments. If you feel that weight too I’d love to hear how you keep moving forward. #longboarding #strava #colorado #gorpcore #agoraphobia #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #complexptsd #afi #thegreatdissappointment #stvraingreenway #lobotrail #eringolightly #foodnotbombs

Often times, those who are close to people with mental illness experience what [Anna] does in the movie. She is being shut out and she doesn’t know why. She tries to get close and gets pushed away. When she finally puts her foot down and pushes too hard, Elsa can no longer control what is going on inside of her and accidentally hurts Anna (more than once). Anna knows she doesn’t mean to, but it doesn’t make it hurt any less. Now Anna at least sees that something has been wrong for a very long time. And though Anna can love her sister and wants to help, she can’t make the choice for Elsa to come down the mountain.

http://stephaniegraves.net/?p=1011

#complexPTSD #CPTSD #mentalhealth

“The Great Thaw” – “Frozen” as a Metaphor for Mental Illness

They upped one med and added a blood pressure pill—despite me having low to normal BP. Now I’m calm but constantly exhausted, losing chunks of my days. Coffee and energy drinks can’t keep me awake.

#MentalHealth #MedicationSideEffects #ChronicIllness #DisabilityAwareness #fatigue #music #tompetty #fnd #complexptsd #cptsd #what #freespeech

It’s a certain type of day. Leave me out of it. Anyways. Florence has a new album out. I haven’t felt this much about music since #taylorhawkins passed away. It’s breathing new life into me. Hoping she keeps herself safe and protects her peace on her world tour. Even if means I don’t get to see it. #eringolightly #humanrights #wrecked #florencewelsh #EverybodyScream #chronicillness #diagnosis #borderlinepersonalitydisorderrecovery #complexptsd #anorexiarecovery #agoraphobiaawareness
Lip syncing to a song that refuses to age out😉 Rage doesn’t fade, it sharpens and becomes a language, a kind of protest you can dance to. Maybe I’m just mouthing words. Either way, volume stays all the way up. 🔥✊ #MusicIsResistance #HistoryRepeats #NoJusticeNoPeace #erindefiance #antifa #anticapitalism #anticorruption #90skids #music #ItsTheGuns #complexptsd #agoraphobiaawareness #borderlinepersonalitydisorderrecovery #bpd (they made me cut it way down) OG on other platforms)

https://www.psychotherapy.net/article/complex-ptsd

I was reading this on my break yesterday. I've found it really helpful to know that the sense of danger and threat I feel when I see any conflict is just an emotional flashback. I haven't had a chance to put that knowledge to the test, but now I'm over the initial shock, it makes me feel a bit better to know why I feel like this.

Also the isolation thing is something I relate to. When I feel hurt, I go all "ice tower" and I can't say if that is also me emotionally flashing back or just my coping mechanism.

@cptsd @schizoid

#complexptsd #CPTSD #schizoid #mentalhealth #childhoodtrauma

Emotional Flashbacks Complex PTSD Article

Pete Walker provides a convincing argument for the recognition and proper treatment of emotional flashbacks and complex PTSD. CE credits available.