Mastodawn

to anyone that ever tried to tell me that I'm "too sensitive", you should know that one of my main goals in life is to always become even more sensitive than I already am

#schizoid #CPTSD #madPride

thomas yager-madden May 24

> Healthier #schizoid people turn their assets into works of art, scientific discoveries, theoretical innovations, or spiritual pathfinding, while more disturbed individuals in this category live in a private hell where their potential contributions are preempted by their terror and estrangement. The sublimation of autistic withdrawal into creative activity is a primary goal of therapy with schizoid patients.

Nancy McWilliams – Psychoanalytic Diagnosis, Second Edition

thomas yager-madden May 8

#cptsd I think I can largely frame my history as a childhood that taught me how to hide very very well, followed by decades of painstaking struggle to find a way back to myself. which only in the last couple of years and after five plus years of working in a really trauma-focused model, have I felt like I’m able to make any progress with. There’s still a lot of darkness and pain and emotional flashbacks that can capture my mind and emotional body, but I have more skills and agency to cope with those today, and I feel so much less in the grip day to day of mh symptoms like depression, anxiety, or obsessive rumination. It is also a source of pride rather than shame to identify as #schizoid

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thomas yager-madden Apr 10

@vaurora This, and at the same time along with that, it was and remains very sad to realize by the same principle, that no amount of effort at communication can really ever hope to convey to another person what it’s really like to be me. It makes me feel as though I’m always behind a mask that’s impossible to take off. Nowadays in my own case I take the vividness of my experience of this frustration and lonely sorrow as a documented #schizoid personality trait

thomas yager-madden Apr 10

one of the weirdest most unnerving things in trauma recovery, is I repeatedly have the experience of making recognizable progress and growth, and then it’s like I become a bit unfamiliar and uncanny to myself – but it’s not really in a bad way, exactly, just disorienting, like: who even *is* this mysterious and apparently likable and somehow maybe even capable person I’ve been living with (as) all these years? #schizoid #cptsd

thomas yager-madden Mar 25

RE: https://mastodon-belgium.be/@dorgaldir/116290984023618527

quoting this instead of just boosting so I can add that I personally am not actually autistic, but I too like the infinity symbol for neurodiversity because I am #schizoid and I believe there are way more flavors of neurodivergence and ‘spectrum’ means a lot more than just a linear scale of how intensely you might identify with or be evaluated on one particular cluster of symptoms. I think taking neurodiversity seriously means recognizing that there are as at least as many entirely distinct neurologies as there human beings that have ever lived, and there simply is no standard or normal way of knowing or thinking or perceiving

El Pregoner del Metall Mar 15

SCHIZOID (Canadà) presenta nou recopilatori: "Total Mayhem" #Schizoid #Crossover #Hardcore #ThrashMetal #Març2026 #Canadà #NouRecopilatori #Metall #Metal #MúsicaMetal #MetalMusic

thomas yager-madden Mar 12

that paradoxical moment where not having enough self-acceptance becomes another thing to hold against myself #schizoid #cptsd

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Silver Arrows Feb 14

I just watched this video https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=EBpF8sWycQQ

And I did the updated questionnaire
https://pennstate.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_6r70Mz4uLRjvl78

Whenever I do these questionnaires, I always feel like I must be misinterpreting the questions, because I score so highly and I think, that can't be right. 167 is the threshold and I scored 279.

And I feel a bit bad that I had to lie that I Iive in the US to take the test.

But what I like about this video is the concept of the tricky family. Because I used to know someone who went through very obvious abuse and what I went through pales in comparison. But describing my family as a tricky family rather than an abusive family makes more sense.

The other thing about this test is a lot of the symptoms overlap with autism, so I'm back to getting imposter syndrome.

#complexptsd #schizoid #aces #mentalhealth #autism #actuallyautistic #CPTSD #childhoodabuse @autistics

thomas yager-madden Feb 2

Took the day off work and slipped into a tub filled with water almost too hot to get into, epsom salt with eucalyptus and arnica, added my own vetiver and lavender essential oil on top, and my favorite Sigur Rós live fan recording (2024-09-21 Chicago orchestral show) on the bluetooth speaker. My self-care game is strong, because it has to be

#cptsd #schizoid