Why make-up sex may not be fixing anything
By Amy Sheehan
Experts say if a fight keeps ending up in the bedroom, it could be a sign you and your partner aren't resolving anything.
https://www.abc.net.au/news/2026-06-02/why-make-up-sex-may-not-be-fixing-anything/106669272
You haven't said a word. Your expression is neutral. Your dog already knows something is wrong. Nobody else in the room has noticed.
What if the crisis of our time is not disagreement - but the slow erosion of trust?
Slow Work of Trust: Understanding, Character, Reliability, by C. Dennis Shaw
Free until June 4th
#SaveYouAClick: missionary, doggy, and receiving oral, i.e. minimal effort and more importantly, not fucking up their knees and joints.
> The Sex Positions Women Love and Hate the Most, According to Real-Life Women https://www.vice.com/en/article/these-are-the-sex-positions-women-love-and-hate-the-most-according-to-women-themselves
On side note, I get feeling orthopedists, physical therapists, and similar will be finding more job demands down the road as porn star joints start blowing out from demanding performances.
Meanwhile, in the #BadEconomy
> Americans Are Going on Dates Just for the Free Food (and Admitting It) https://www.vice.com/en/article/americans-are-going-on-dates-just-for-the-free-food-and-admitting-it/
Again, if I am ever single again, why it's the #HermitLife for me.
Bringing only the bare minimum to the table is the path to peace for women.
Weaponizing Your Insecurity, aka Microcheating
Are the monogamous people okay? If pop culture articles are any indication, the answer is not in the least.
#advice #relationships #society #cheating #communication
https://ideatrash.net/2026/06/weaponizing-your-insecurity-aka-microcheating.html
Weaponizing Your Insecurity, aka Microcheating
Are the monogamous people okay?
If pop culture articles are any indication, the answer is not in the least.
I’ve vaguely noticed a few more profiles on dating apps getting angsty about guys having female friends, and now I know why.
The new-ish relationship buzzword meme is “microcheating,” which, according to this Atlantic article, can encompass anything from sending nudes to someone other than your partner all the way to “a glance, a laugh, or non-sexual touching.”
So, basically, it’s whatever you use to justify your insecurity.
I will give both the Atlantic and Vox article I saw the smallest credit for acknowledging that what one person considers “microcheating” — or any kind of infidelity — may not count for another.
But this “microcheating” thing is just bullshit.
Yes, some of the things lumped under the “microcheating” umbrella are pretty obviously objectionable — sending someone else nudes comes to mind. However, the vast majority seem to be things that are, or at least could be, innocuous. Not only a glance, but also likes and follows on social media and other rather routine online behavior.
That’s not cheating. That’s insecurity. Add in an unhealthy lack of direct communication in the relationship, and you have conditions ripe for brain weasels to spin you a suspicious story about their motives and set you down a paranoid suspicion spiral.
Worse, shoving these insecurities under the “cheating” (micro- or otherwise) umbrella makes it easy to not have to address them. Calling it “cheating” ends all discussion; the other person is automatically “wrong”. They’re “cheating”, so that means they are the bad one. You don’t have to do the work of figuring out where that insecurity is coming from, or whether or not it’s reasonable.
It might not even be insecurity about the relationship per se. Zoe Yu — author of the Atlantic article — said on the Vox Explain It to Me podcast:
You might not actually object to your boyfriend liking some girl’s post. What you actually might be concerned about is the message that it’s sending to this person, given the social meaning that we’ve now assigned collectively to likes and comments and follows.
You might not actually think, “Oh, my boyfriend might be attracted to this person because he’s following her on Instagram.” It might actually be the fear of “How is this going to reflect on me? How is this going to embarrass me and how is it going to affect the way that other people see my relationship and whether or not my significant other is sufficiently loyal?”
So instead of addressing the insecurities in the relationship with the person in the relationship, or reflecting on and changing the way you relate to society around you, let’s just weaponize it against the person we love and call it “cheating.”
I’m sure that will work out just fine.
There was another quote from Zoe Yu that needs mentioning.
I think the bar for exclusivity has gotten inordinately high, to the point where people are demanding an exclusivity of emotion, of attraction, and you can’t actually share a laugh or share a private moment with anyone outside of this romantic relationship that is supposed to be at the center of your life.
Look, I’ve been in relationships where I didn’t get (or give) the amount of attention needed or deserved. And that’s an awful feeling. Particularly when combined with the visibility of online behavior; it can feel very devastating. For example, to be left on “delivered” while you can see them being active on social media feels pretty crappy. But that’s a matter of priorities, and something to talk about and work on together. Just calling it “cheating” is just an excuse to avoid directly discussing it with your partner.
The other direction of that assumption is just as toxic. Even if you’re in that place where you would like to spend all of your time with “your person”… there is a big difference between both of you working together to spend as much time together as you can and demanding all of your partner’s time and attention. Even if you are monogamous, that doesn’t mean you should spend all of your time and focus all of your attention on one person.
If nothing else, you should each get time to yourselves to do whatever you want with. There’s got to be some hobby or interest each of you is into and the other isn’t. Chess club, watching sportsball, political activism, macrame, mosh pits, D&D, gardening, whatever. If you’re demanding that kind of exclusive attention, then you are demanding your partner give up something that brings them joy.
I’m sure that will work out fine, too.
Featured image originally by Anthony Guillem (here’s an interview with him)
#cheating #communication #relationships #society
New Blogroll Post
“Not Thinking Today!” by Palak Malik
«I want AI to do my jobI want it to think for meso that i don’t have to think if i don’t thinki don’t feelAnd i can escape being a humanthis quesy ball of feelings kind of human The only thing that…»
#CreativeProcess #Life #Poetry #Thoughts #Ai #Art #Creativity #DailyMotivation #Love #Mental-health #Poem #Relationships #SelfLove #Struggle #Writing #blog #indieweb https://purposewithpals.wordpress.com/2026/06/01/not-thinking-today/?ref=blr.indiewebclub.org
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