So many moral injuries and injustices have abound around me this past week, and Mother's Day, and just everything all together, has really made me super #Depressed and I can't help ruminating and crying about it, because it's all I can do.

Self-distraction is not working. Do I dare dive into a heavy psychedelic trip in my mental state? There's no such thing as a bad trip.

#MentalHealth #mentalillness #moralinjury #depression #anxiety #rumination #cPTSD #actuallyautistic #psychedelics

Yesterday was Mother’s Day, which is always a difficult day for me as someone who was abused in multiple ways by my birth giver, who I have been No Contact with for several years now. I didn’t want to share this yesterday, because people with good experiences deserve their day… but the “holiday” just makes me think of the storybook I wrote and illustrated as a way to heal and reach other trauma survivors of all ages.

https://ko-fi.com/s/a100cf0ae0

The book is about a kitten who went through the bad things I went through, but it has a happy ending; the kitty ends up finding new chosen family that gives them the love they always deserves.

All sales go towards helping me and my loved ones achieve that happy ending, and I really hope folks will consider checking it out! It’s available in ebook format (linked) as well as audiobook format, which is in my Ko-Fi shop alongside the ebook. The audiobook was narrated by myself & produced by @magicalgrrrl, my amazing partner.

Thank you for reading! I hope if you get the book for yourself, that it provides some sort of comfort, healing, familiarity, and/or insight.

#ptsd #cptsd #MothersDay #ChildhoodTrauma #indieAuthor #IndieArtist #QueerArtist #DisabledArtist #TransArtist #traumaSurvivor #TraumaHealing #BuyIntoArt #kofi #art #storybook #illustrator #lgbtqia #lgbtq #crowdfund #neurodivergent #kofiArtist #crowdfunding #poverty

Anxious because I need to have the hearing disability talk with my boss and I don't know how to do it where I don't sound like I'm complaining. I just don't really know how to breach this that doesn't sound like I am making my hearing difficulties become his problem.

Something he does is mumble as he speaks, and CC will have a hard time, and I'll miss whole sentences and a lot of words. He also called me "Mr Matt" (which I can't stand) but the CC completely got it wrong and showed something like "Mr Metz" and I had no clue it was me, so it took me an extra few seconds to register, in which time he got frustrated that I didn't answer fast enough and moved on to the next person, so I had to interrupt him.

I guess I just need to give him a reminder. If he doesn't know I'm having trouble, it will never get fixed, but my CPTSD and wanting to be liked and fawning when I feel like I'm being a nuisance is getting in the way.

#CPTSD