It's Just Jenn π³οΈββ§οΈSomebody is telling newcomers the tale of #JohnMastodon, right? How he killed a bear with his bare hands? How he saved a child from going over Niagra Falls? His Barbershop Quartet?
Look people, the important thing is that #JohnMastodon will one day return to judge the living and the dead, so y'all best get good with him.
Also, she's coming back as #JoanMastodon, but I digress....π
C.Suthorn 
Is that Joan dβMarc?
soaproot@Tweetfiction In news of other heroes, have you heard that James Calckey is about to change his name? Has anyone heard anything about whether there is a gender transition as part of this as well? #Calckey
Prof West Wing Chicken ShackI thought that he drank a beer with his bear hands ... π
John ShirleyJohn Mastodon was a mighty trans, a mighty trans is he
he lifted up powerful servers
and he serves up herbal tea
Oh John Oh John Oh Mastodon
wrote a ballet and ten thousand pages of code
yes this is the tale of john Mastodon, come along and sing his ode, oh, come along and sing his ode
Democracy Dies in Dumbass@Tweetfiction hey we don't joke about barbershop... not here.
Chris_MS@Tweetfiction absolute legend, all of it is true.
Schrank 
π@Tweetfiction Do not forget Paris!
α΄α΄α΄α΄ΚΙͺα΄€α΄α΄ΚΚ@Tweetfiction and have you seen the size of his HANDS?!
Andres Jalinton
Speed demon πͺπΊ π³π΄πΊπ¦π΅πΈ@Andres @Tweetfiction @StacieBee That's them here I believe? https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/c/ce/Bondebryllup_i_Hardanger_%2818677375811%29.jpg/250px-Bondebryllup_i_Hardanger_%2818677375811%29.jpg
(aside, what is this sport called in english? Norwegian "trekke krok" or "fingerkrok" )
(aside, what is this sport called in english? Norwegian "trekke krok" or "fingerkrok" )
@Andres @Tweetfiction @StacieBee Actually one of the very rare images of John Mastodon. John on the right, Zuck to the left.
@Andres @Tweetfiction @StacieBee From the image it looks like John is losing being pulled over by Zuck. But, a few seconds later Zucks finger started to give, and he had to let up the pull. John clamped down and heaved just at the right moment, so Zuck went over and lost the match. It was the highlight of that wedding party.
@hakona @Tweetfiction @StacieBee
What an amazing real to the letter history lesson.
Thanks for express that so well.
What an amazing real to the letter history lesson.
Thanks for express that so well.
π³οΈβπSuperdave! ππ·π¨βπ¦―@Tweetfiction @somcak Killed a bear? That's not very nice! What if it was someone from my instance? We're all very nice, here! π€£
Valheru Rides@Tweetfiction Pff Brian Blessed punched a Polar Bear on the nose.
sleet01@Tweetfiction am I the only one who gets John Mastodon and Charles Nelson Reilly mixed up?
@sleet01 @Tweetfiction Seems there's a mixup here, it's not Charles Nelson Reilly that is not John Mastodon, it's the other funny guy from that other show that's not John Mastodon. Charles Nelson Reilly is never not the one you're thinking of, it's always the that other guy that's the wrong guy. Try to keep this straight from now on. Embarrasses everybody.
okanogen VerminEnemyFromWithin
Parade du Grotesque πI thought "fuck billionaires" were his middle names? π€
v64@Tweetfiction John Mastodon saved my marriage AND MY LIFE, God bless you John Mastodon!
@v64 He taught me how to love a woman and be loved AS a woman. To #JohnMastodon!
Woodswalked@Woodswalked @Tweetfiction The sagas cannot even agree on whether her name is #JoanMastodon or #JaneMastodon but this much is clear: she has been around as long as John Mastodon and her contributions are immense although not heralded enough.
bella π
@bella I was there. It was miracle by Shonk! #transtodon
SirViolentDeath(Dramatization)
I remember hearing the merchants in my journey tell tales of #johnmastodon , how he too fled the Blue Bird country in search of a kingdom of his own. Some say that when he left, varies tribes followed him in hopes of a peaceful tomorrow.
Laura Loomis@Tweetfiction Don't forget the time he built a rocket out of waffles.
@LauraRuthless Oh yeah! Singlehandedly proved why breakfast is the most important meal of the day. To #johnmastodon !
Fabio Romeo@Tweetfiction @BlippyTheWonderSlug Iβll never forget the beginning of Mastodon, when he carved an antenna with his bare hands to save the servers from an overwhelming amount of new users. The radio waves were attracted by his sheer will to see things work, creating an incredible amount of bandwidth.
Flock of Cats π π π βοΈ
Flock of Undead Catsπββ¬πββ¬πββ¬ (@[email protected])
Attached: 1 image Also, for the new people, a little bit of history. The founder of this site was John Mastodon. Toots were originally delivered by town crier, but the mode of delivery has evolved with technologyβ¦telegraph, ham radio, and now internets. #JohnMastodon #Mastodon
NoctisEqui πΊπ¦π΅πΈπͺπΉπ³οΈβπDoes he leap tall buildings in a single bound?
Wait... John Mastodon.
Now, that's a name I haven't heard in a long time.
My grandfather told me about the time he used to punch nazis in the face, and blow their sh__ up. That was glorious.
eviloatmeal, resident Death Stranding 2 apologist (arch, btw)@Tweetfiction John Mastodon, who bravely trekked across the federation from coast to poast to bring the people into the fold. John Mastodon who single-handedly slew a gargron to save a village from being terrorised.
kierkegaank@Tweetfiction The only one who could ever teach me was a John of the Mastodon. The only one who could ever reach me was a John of the Mastodon. Yes he could, yes he could.