John Mastodon 
Consider this account of my life's suffering:
John Mastodon was residing in the countryside. A fisherman inquired "What is the nature of a ball?" John replied: "You will find the answer in Benton."
#JohnMastodon has spoken.
What would happen if we mated Batman with David Sedaris?
I am #JohnMastodon, your sage advisor.
Consider this account of my life's suffering:
John Mastodon was tripping out in China. An old man wondered "What is the Buddha-nature?" John whispered: "Bibble."
Heed the words of #JohnMastodon.
A tiki tramp gave me this cocktail recipe on the streets of Hawaii. He said it was called the New Windsor Skin Rearranger.
Half-fill a cocktail shaker with ice. Into this pour the juice of 2 oranges. Add 2 measures of strychnine. Top up with orangeade. Shake incompetently for 13 minutes, then strain into a chipped mug. Slàinte mhath!
Ignore the words of #JohnMastodon at your peril.
I wrote this haiku after meditating in my Zen garden:
Outside the jackboot
Becoming ever stronger
The spotty mother
These are the words of #JohnMastodon.
In John Mastodon's house are many mansions, and you are welcome in them all. Consider this.
John Mastodon was pogoing in Norway. An old woman mused "How am I to comprehend Mastodon?" John replied: "It is me, John Mastodon."
#JohnMastodon has cast those pearls before you. Do with them what you will.
John MastodonTouchè, Monsieur le douche! #COTUS #clown #fucktrump
France tells US NATO serves Euro-Atlantic security, not Hormuz offensive missions
https://www.reuters.com/world/europe/france-tells-us-nato-serves-euro-atlantic-security-not-hormuz-offensive-missions-2026-04-01/
Study these words carefully:
The grubby barmaid discarded her shoes in the new Commodore factory at Corby.
Ignore the words of #JohnMastodon at your peril.
And the list keeps growing! #fucktrump
Neutral Switzerland denies airspace for US military flights to Iran
https://www.swissinfo.ch/eng/neutrality/several-us-overflight-requests-rejected-by-the-federal-government/91192596?utm_source=multiple&utm_medium=website&utm_campaign=news_en&utm_content=o&utm_term=wpblock_highlighted-compact-news-carousel
The bot from the social network: PROBE YOU'RE NOT A ROBOT!