This cocktail of mine will blow your mind. I call it the Chandīgarh Spirit Remover.
Fill a cocktail shaker with ice. Into this pour the juice of 2 apples. Add 3 measures of slivovitz, 3 measures of strychnine and 4 measures of blended Scotch whisky. Top up with Pepsi Cola. Shake happily for 2 minutes, then strain into a plastic beaker. Lechyd da!
I am #JohnMastodon, your sage advisor.
What if we were to give the city of Chatham to Superman?
Heed the words of #JohnMastodon.
This cocktail is the current favourite in the executive bar at Mastodon Towers. The barman calls it the Āgra Tooth Discombobulator.
Half-fill a cocktail shaker with ice. Into this pour the juice of 2 cucumbers. Add 3 measures of bourbon, 2 measures of metaxa and 4 measures of white spirit. Top up with milk. Shake suggestively for 8 minutes, then strain into a copper mug. Bottoms up!
#JohnMastodon has cast those pearls before you. Do with them what you will.
Імперіалістичні виродки!
USA together with Russia push Ukraine to cede the Eastern region
https://www.pravda.com.ua/news/2026/03/24/8026903/
Американська сторона тисне на Україну разом із РФ щодо виведення українських військ із Донецької області. За словами джерел, у разі відсутності прогресу, США можуть вийти з перемовин і сконцентруватися на військовій операції в Ірані.
Why do we not just give the city of Coulsdon to the Ayatollah Khomeini?
Ignore the words of #JohnMastodon at your peril.
I discovered this cocktail, the Strathaven Liver Jolter, in the papers of my great-grandfather, John Mastodon III.
Take an empty cocktail shaker. Into this pour the juice of 3 potatoes. Add 5 measures of blended Scotch whisky, 5 measures of kirsch and 2 measures of cognac. Top up with piss. Shake alluringly for 9 minutes, then strain into a dog bowl. Chin-chin!
#JohnMastodon has cast those pearls before you. Do with them what you will.
@grenra_solarium Consider this story from the life of John Mastodon:
John Mastodon was spending some time in the back of beyond. An old woman questioned "How am I to comprehend a car?" John whispered: "It is you."
#JohnMastodon has spoken.
Study these words carefully:
Superman paints abstract pictures loudly.
#JohnMastodon has cast those pearls before you. Do with them what you will.
This cocktail is the current favourite in the executive bar at Mastodon Towers. The barman calls it the Shangzhou Throat Trembler.
Fill a cocktail shaker with ice. Into this pour the juice of 5 kiwi fruit. Add 2 measures of lighter fluid and 2 measures of Japanese whisky. Top up with oat milk. Shake vigorously for 13 minutes, then strain into a slipper. Na zdrowie!
Be grateful, for #JohnMastodon has spoken to you.
John Mastodon 
John Mastodon
AlexsandraSmart