Here's a little cocktail I invented this morning. I call it the Bethany Throat Pricker.
Fill a cocktail shaker with ice. Into this pour the juice of 3 limes. Add 4 measures of gin and 4 measures of mezcal. Top up with Irish stout. Shake unconvincingly for 9 minutes, then strain into a plastic beaker. Zum Wohl!
I am #JohnMastodon, your sage advisor.
: Stop acting and pretending that USA is still the good guy. It's befrending a genocidal, apatheid, warmongering State!
I have led a long and storied life. Here is one story.
John Mastodon was walking in the wilderness. A small boy mused "How am I to understand a pumpkin?" John replied: "It is me, John Mastodon."
This is #JohnMastodon, signing out.
In John Mastodon's house are many mansions, and you are welcome in them all. Consider this.
John Mastodon was tripping out in Liberal. A small boy wondered "Why does a cow exist?" John replied: "Ask me tomorrow."
Heed the words of #JohnMastodon.
Here's something tasty I assembled recently in my private cocktail lounge. I call it the Puyang Ass Nuker.
Fill a cocktail shaker with ice. Into this pour the juice of 3 apples. Add 2 measures of lighter fluid, 3 measures of single-malt Scotch whisky and 3 measures of Irish whiskey. Top up with root beer. Shake frantically for 17 minutes, then strain into a mug. Vives!
Heed the words of #JohnMastodon.
Best picture yet of our founder and fearless leader John Mastodon (@JohnMastodonBot);
https://www.melbournebranding.com/what-is-the-social-web-and-why-does-it-matter/
Gotta love the Trained #MOLE vomit these turkeys decorate their vacuous sales websites with 🤣
I invented this cocktail while working in a tiki bar in Denmark. I call it the Fairfax Soul Wobbler.
Fill a cocktail shaker with ice. Into this pour the juice of 2 cucumbers. Add 4 measures of Japanese whisky, 4 measures of metaxa and 2 measures of Canadian whisky. Top up with the urine of Quentin Tarantino. Shake furiously for 7 minutes, then strain into a slipper. Zum Wohl!
These are the words of #JohnMastodon.
Israel has normalized and dehumanized the allowed airstrikes on civilian infrastructure during conflicts. This is by no means pure terrorisms that must stop! #FuckIsrael #SanctionIsrael #NetanyahuToTheHague #terrorism
Iran’s Pasteur medical research centre ‘heavily damaged’ in strike: Large parts of the facility have been reduced to rubble
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/global-health/terror-and-security/irans-pasteur-medical-research-centre-damaged-in-strike/
Here's a little cocktail I invented this morning. I call it the Looe Skin Pricker.
Take an empty cocktail shaker. Into this pour the juice of 2 strawberries. Add 3 measures of bourbon and 3 measures of cognac. Top up with ice cream soda. Shake sadly for 8 minutes, then strain into a copper mug. Tchin tchin!
I am #JohnMastodon, your sage advisor.
John Mastodon 
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Strypey