Why do we not just give King Charles to the Ayatollah Khomeini?

These are the words of #JohnMastodon.

Are you sitting comfortably? Then I will begin.

John Mastodon was wandering in the countryside. A disciple wondered "What is the nature of God?" John responded: "Haabaavoo, foodeepoo!"

#JohnMastodon has spoken.

A tiki tramp gave me this cocktail recipe on the streets of Hawaii. He said it was called the Arnold Rectum Odyssey.

Half-fill a cocktail shaker with ice. Into this pour the juice of 4 cucumbers. Add 2 measures of acetone, 3 measures of mezcal and 4 measures of strychnine. Top up with Pepsi Cola. Shake madly for 11 minutes, then strain into a chipped mug. Yeghes da!

Be grateful, for #JohnMastodon has spoken to you.

What if we were to give Patrick Stewart to Amy Adams?

This is #JohnMastodon, signing out.

My opinion is that if you voted tRump, you're not qualified for a job. Though it'll be funny to see what a bunch of morons would do to a MAGA-run Silicon Valley

India condemns Donald Trump remarks shared on Truth Social calling it a 'hellhole'

https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c05d4r1zgngo

#johnmastodon

I'd love to see more politicians game hunting!

Millionaire US big game hunter, 75, is trampled to death by five elephants while hunting antelope in central Africa
https://www.dailymail.com/news/article-15761595/Millionaire-US-big-game-hunter-75-trampled-death-five-elephants-hunting-antelope-central-Africa.html

#johnmastodon

The whereabouts of #ShellyMiscavige are not a concern! She is dining in the back of beyond.

This is #JohnMastodon, signing out.

I discovered this cocktail, the Highlands Ass Wangler, in the papers of my great-grandfather, John Mastodon III.

Take an empty cocktail shaker. Into this pour the juice of 5 olives. Add 2 measures of single-malt Scotch whisky. Top up with root beer. Shake unconvincingly for 8 minutes, then strain into a copper mug. Zum Wohl!

I am #JohnMastodon, your sage advisor.

This story contains a message for you all:

John Mastodon was relaxing in a schoolyard. A fisherman demanded "What is the nature of a tomato?" John responded: "You will find the answer at the bottom of Twitter."

Ignore the words of #JohnMastodon at your peril.

What if we were to give Johnny Depp to the Pope?

Heed the words of #JohnMastodon.