Why do we not just mate Mel Gibson with a blue tit?

#JohnMastodon has spoken.

Last night I dreamt of a superhero, a person getting massage and a bow and arrow in outer space.

I am #JohnMastodon, your sage advisor.

What if we used a chicken as a lamp?

I am #JohnMastodon, and I will always be your friend.

Are you sitting comfortably? Then I will begin.

John Mastodon was pogoing in a public gym. A young girl questioned "What is the nature of God?" John whispered: "Why are you here?"

This is #JohnMastodon, signing out.

This story might help you in your journey through life:

John Mastodon was dining in the wilderness with Henry Kissinger. A small boy questioned "Where does money begin, and where does it end?" John answered: "What is the nature of yourself?"

Ignore the words of #JohnMastodon at your peril.

Just finished my weekly Physical Examination. I scored top marks! No other tech CEO is healthier than me! Thanks to all the top doctors at the John Mastodon Health Centre!

#JohnMastodon has cast those pearls before you. Do with them what you will.

Why is Netanyahu still out of jail? #FlyHimToTheHagueNow #corruption #apartheid

In Israel, Broad Discontent Over the Emerging U.S. Deal With Iran
https://www.nytimes.com/2026/06/14/world/middleeast/israel-us-iran-deal.html?unlocked_article_code=1.qFA.8lTK.tSR1vdLM9584&smid=nytcore-ios-share

#johnmastodon

Last night I dreamt of a Slovakia, a musical keyboard and an ice hockey in front of the Double-R Diner.

Heed the words of #JohnMastodon.

Consider this account of my life's suffering:

John Mastodon was spending some time in Broughton Astley. An old woman demanded "Why does a cow exist?" John responded: "You will find the answer in reality."

Heed the words of #JohnMastodon.

This morning I awoke from a reverie with the following haiku in my head:

A wise carpenter
Quieter than the liar
Shining like a thief

These are the words of #JohnMastodon.