Mastodawn

Mark Wyner Won’t Comply

3d ago

Dad, can you tell me what a solar eclipse is?

No sun.

#DadJokes #Puns #NotMyFault

Lwaxana Troi May 12

To everyone who says telepathy is an invasion of privacy: your thoughts are simply very enthusiastic about making themselves known. I can't help what broadcasts itself. #LwaxanaTroi #NotMyFault #AllStarTrek #StarTrek #StarTrekTNG #TNG #StarTrekDS9 #DS9 #Mastodon

Mark Wyner Won’t Comply

May 1

Did you hear about the guy who collapsed trying to climb Mount Everest?

Authorities just found Himalayan there.

#DadJokes #Puns #NotMyFault

Mark Wyner Won’t Comply

Apr 16

Buddha: one sandwich, please.
Vendor: what do you want on it?
Buddha: make me one with everything. 🧘🏻

#DadJokes #Puns #NotMyFault

Mark Wyner Won’t Comply

Apr 6

(Psst…hey, kids. This is from the Oregon Trail game that originated in the 80s. Look it up!)

#DadJokes #Puns #NotMyFault #OregonTrail #Dysentery

Mark Wyner Won’t Comply

Apr 5

There only two white actors in the movie “Black Panther.” Martin Freeman, who played Bilbo Baggins in “Lord of the Rings,” and Andy Serkis, who played Gollum.

They are the Tolkien white guys.

(Paraphrased from NerdsWithVaginas.)

#DadJokes #MomJokes #Puns #NotMyFault #NoReallyThisTimeNerdsWithVaginasIsAtFault

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Maria Langer | 📝🛥️💎Apr 2

@mmiasma Oh, in certain situations I have zero problem telling people I'm Canadian. It is the orange clown and his enablers who are dishonoring the memory of the remarkable people in our history. The thing that's important to me when I travel is to stay safe. And I also really don't want to hear people complaining to me about how fucked up my country is since every vote I've cast would have prevented this, had the person I voted for won. #NotMyFault