This is me, in the easy chair cleaning the bathroom. Today is still not good on the energy front. HR 110 getting dressed. So to clean the toilet and sink I've sprayed it and I'm having a sit with the stitches. I'll go back in a bit and do a little wiping. I'm not permitted to attempt bath or shower cleans. This is the way.
Auto correct put east chair instead of easy chair. But it's not, it is the most westerly point in our house so it will now be known as the West Chair.
Today my brain went something like: Ghhaaaaaarrggggghhhhh! ... 💡!
I think a penny got stuck a long while back & finally worked itself loose & dropped.
I started looking into & bullet journalling several years ago after my brief encounter with mental health services & the woman running the 6 session group therapy suggested it.
Thanks to Pinterest I quick fell in love with the idea, though possibly for the wrong reasons as I have never been able to wrap my head round trying to recreate or at least achieve something that functions how I want & somehow with zero extra time & effort achieving such decorative masterpieces.
The first 2 - 3 years it sort of worked but the effort of hand drawing every page & the time it consumed seemed to be eating at me & in the last 2 - 3 years it began to percolate through to me that it might be part of why I lack the spoons, time & energy to do anything.
In the last few years I kept falling behind & would spend the early months of the new year finishing my entries for last year transferring them from note app to physical bullet journal.
This year, I got last year's up to date but this year's feels like a non-starter. January & February are drawn up & ready to fill in but I'm just not feeling it.
I guess today is the day I say, nope to adding something potentially useful but ultimately getting in the way of trying to improve my life.
So, no more bullet journalling this year, though I might, when the mood takes me & I can actually spare the spoons look at what things I'd actually find useful to track & maybe track them separately in the future unless I find the ideal solution to my bullet journalling woes.
#Clarity #MomentOfClarity #AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic
#Hyperfocus #Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons
#Focus #SelfCare
Ever had one of those days where, it's been so frelling long that you've forgotten what it's like to not be in burnout but you're also just mad at everything because there's no way out of burnout?
No official diagnosis & your GP threw out the preliminary test that said you're a good candidate for autism that you got years ago. The waiting list is impossibly long so by the time you:
1) Pluck up the dice / spoons to face the GP (I'm still working on it 😣)...
2) Get an appointment & (by a miracle) maybe still have the dice / spoons...
3) Actually persuade the GP an AuDHD diagnosis is what you need...
4) Jump through whatever hoops to get the preliminaries sorted...
5) Get the green light for getting a diagnosis...
... You'll be waiting so long, you won't need it anymore as you're too old to work & are on minimum pension.
My messed up bodyclock doesn't help either.
Oh, it's you Depression... 😫... Just what I need 😡😩.
I hate it when I give myself reality checks 😔.
#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic
#MindFog #Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons
#SelfCare #Depression
#Life #Sleep #Insomnia #SleepProblems
Weird, or just because of the state of the world.
Looking at you, Fart stain (trump) & you Nastyyahoo (Netinyahu(?)) In particular. Putler's (Putin's) lackies, doing his dirty work? 🤷
Woke up because of bad dream that would definitely fit in with the kind of horror movies involving the supernatural & hauntings. I don't remember much apart from the most horrendous outcome, resulting in the house, or people being haunted by a screaming baby that's completely unrecognisable because it's just this black shape, burned completely.
That's probably the bit that woke me up.
Checked the time (07:30) & tried to get back to sleep... Must have drifted as I found myself with the same people being forced to go different ways one North, the other South & a long way away from their home. They split up to wait for, I assume their respective transport.
Dream cuts to the inhuman screaming from previous dream & I'm back at the place that's now haunted by this ghost or entity of this burned baby. It's pitch black but when the ghost shows up I can still see it's shiny black form that looks like it's become more demon with more bulk & fat folds than any baby would have.
That's my cue & I'm awake. It's 08:00.
I felt awake but my eyes were & at 09:00 (now) still are, "nope, not ready."
This timeline is gross.
Why are people who have rap sheets a mile long & growing day by day in charge of entire countries, with other countries (🙄SOME other countries), mine included 🫣🤬, more or less going, "yes sir ,no sir, three bags full." for these criminals who should have been jailed years ago?!
Sorry for spreading more negativity but I needed it out & shouting at a wall or a door wasn't going to cut it.
#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic
#Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons #Depression #SleepProblems
#Greed #PoliticalCorruption #CriminalsInPower #MassMurderers
#RapistsInPower #PedophilesInPower #ChildMurderersInPower
#EpicFails #Enshittification
Dear Old Git Time,
Please rewind, hold your horses, slow down, chill, take a break, hit pause, back it up, go back a bit, and a bit more, give me a chance, calm down dear, for the love of sanity STOP!
Yours Sincerely,
Tired of Always Losing Huge Chunks of My Day
#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic #TimeBlindness #ExecutiveDysfunction #Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons
Was going to keep today a Do Stuff day so I could zombie my way through that (recovering from being up several hours earlier than I'm used to & having to people & adult most of yesterday) so I can actually enjoy my duvet day tomorrow.
Enter fly in the ointment.
Tomorrow is more going out & peopling 😱. Then next weekend Saturday is more peopling & being social at friends' (shared) birthday.
Problem with this picture, Saturdays & Mondays are usually duvet days.
One positive is, I've already tackled today's adulting, phoning my Mam so hopefully she won't phone me later today 🤞.
Can I book my 12 month cryostasis treatment now!?
No, I'm not asking for a friend.
#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic #Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons
#SelfCare #Life
My getting up has slipped into the afternoons & I'm not happy about it.
Especially as in a few days I'll have to be up before 07:00 to be able to spend the day on an outing with friends. 🫣
Stricter morning routine?
- Alarm goes, switch on radio or preselected podcast instead of noticing the Mastodon notifications so I don't vanish down a 40+ notification hole?
🤔 … 🤔 In theory very easy to do, in practice very difficult to stick to, as my AuDHD screams for comfort from not being ready to face the day.
- Swap chores around with things I enjoy, want to get stuck into?
My big worry is that once I start the thing I want to do I will ignore all cues for stopping & doing the 'must do' tasks.
One possible fix for ignoring cues, is have lunch be the cut off point as I, like a lot of critters can be greatly motivated by food.
Current problem, lunch is around 18:00 give or take an hour & as I'm painfully aware of it being evening my brain & body default to evening mode, time to read or ideally, relax so those 'must do' tasks have pretty much a zero chance of happening.
I guess, I might be spending some time working this one out this afternoon / evening. I don't mind spending my evenings messing with dilemmas like this, as long as I can shove a movie I enjoy on whilst I'm doing it 🙂.
… That's if I remember 😅.
#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic
#Hyperfocus #TimeBlindness #ExecutiveDysfunction
#MindFog #Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons #LackOfFocus #SelfCare
Clean sheets and that's the best I can do today.
@actuallyadhd @autistics
I keep forgetting that even good being social knocks me so far sideways that all I've managed is a bit of washing up & hanging washing.
Whilst I loaded & started the washing around midday, it was something after 18:00 before I even got anything else done.
Just about managed feeding myself, even though I was hungry for tea I had zero idea or enthusiasm for cooking. Plan A failed as I didn't have any mixed veg in the freezer to go with whatever tinned thing I picked.
Plan B just about made it.
🎶 Hello AuDHD,
it's nice to talk with you ag-
…
OK! Come back here! …
My plans for getting a decent start on decorations flunked & has not returned.
Just finished tea 'bout half an hour ago & it's already pretty much supper time, if I want a chance of waking up early enough & feeling remotely productive tomorrow, that is.
#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic #Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons #SelfCare #TimeBlindness #ExecutiveDysfunction
I have to ask the fediverse this question... why do people insist on directly tagging random strangers to ask for assistance especially if their bio specifically says to not directly message but will boost posts and is not in a position to give money? I mean I always feel guilty when people ask me directly and I can't provide and I have plenty of mental health issues that I am working on...
EdibleFuchsia
Verđandi K Soldusty
TheJen will not comply
Leather Cub Andrew Aû