Weike Wang on Recurring Dreams and Loneliness

https://fed.brid.gy/r/https://www.newyorker.com/books/this-week-in-fiction/weike-wang-05-25-26

Schlaf, Du Dreckspimmel, komm endlich angekrochen. 🥱

#Insomnia #wach #EinschlafStörung #schlaf

F. Scott Fitzgerald on the metaphysical horror of insomnia

How have I only just discovered this remarkable essay?

— Waste and horror—what I might have been and done that is lost, spent, gone, dissipated, unrecapturable. I could have acted thus, refrained from this, been bold where I was timid, cautious where I was rash.

I need not have hurt her like that.

Nor said this to him.

Nor broken myself trying to break what was unbreakable.

The horror has come now like a storm—what if this night prefigured the night after death—what if all thereafter was an eternal quivering on the edge of an abyss, with everything base and vicious in oneself urging one forward and the baseness and viciousness of the world just ahead. No choice, no road, no hope—only the endless repetition of the sordid and the semi-tragic

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7lCeHQ0T138

SYSLOG://SLEEP.SERVICE.fail
Core process stalled at 03:12. Brain running recursive diagnostics while ceiling fan spins like outdated server cooling hardware. Caffeine reserves unstable. Bedroom rendered in monochrome silence while tomorrow’s responsibilities queue endlessly in background memory. Human operator remains awake for absolutely no productive reason. System overheating. Civilization continues on patched firmware.

#insomnia #night #sleep #tired #awake

@actuallyadhd @autistics

Well, around 02:10, after opening NewPipe, downloading an ambient noise video & the app not giving the option of playback I tried Podcast Addict, the only viable option out of the 3 possible apps it offered for playback.
Okay, let's try for sleep, kill screen as any light just keeps me awake (my eyelids are like tissue paper). Problem, killing screen kills playback 🫩😡.
I'm too tired, will look into what options to tweak in the morning or whenever.

I doze till about 04:30 as I need to roll over to relieve my bones & whatever else is aching. Try getting back to dozing... 30 odd minutes later, my body is deep frying me from the inside 😩.

Okay, I'm awake but I don't like it.
Can't believe how quickly I went thorough my notifications on here, replied to a few & back scrolled Home feed to see what I missed.
...

So now, what do I do?

#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic
#Life #Sleep #Insomnia #SleepProblems #TissuePaperEyelids #WaferThinEyelids
#TooWarm

Feeling like a brand new human this morning after a full night's sleep! Ready to take on the world (or at least, a few items on my task list) and catch up on what I had to step back from yesterday.

#insomnia #sleep