Mastodawn

the bad neighbor has loudly announced to the building group chat that they would rather block fiber internet installation to all 36 units indefinitely than allow a technician into their apartment for five minutes, as they have a god-given right to privacy

so how many skeletons do you think we're talking?

multiple replies suggesting it's a sex dungeon and if that's ACTUALLY what they're hung up about that's incredibly funny because we literally live IN AMSTERDAM, THE PUBLIC SEX DUNGEON CAPITAL OF THE WORLD

several months ago, a personal container of cocaine was found in the lobby. I didn't worry/care about whose stupid cocaine it was. But I am now envisioning that the bad neighbor is so defensive because they have an apartment absolutely crammed to the gills with cocaine. so much cocaine that they can't possibly hide it from a 20yo technician who has fifty-seven more apartments to connect today. they'll open the utility closet and be crushed by cocaine

Graham Sutherland / Polynomial Mar 4

@0xabad1dea what a way to go though

pkprotoplasm Mar 4

@0xabad1dea or they partake and all the wiring is done in half an hour

GinevraCat Mar 4

@0xabad1dea Perhaps they could be the only unit connected WITHOUT fibre???

@GinevraCat The ISP says if they can't get access to every hookup in the building then nobody is getting fiber.

GinevraCat Mar 4

@0xabad1dea Is there a building owner committee or something like that? Surely 1 unit cannot block the whole building - niet normaal!!!

@GinevraCat yes and they're the most annoying member of it.

GinevraCat Mar 4

@0xabad1dea Noooooooooooooo

@0xabad1dea @GinevraCat They don't represent a majority, can't they simply be ignored then?

Asta [AMP]Mar 4

@0xabad1dea technician, upon drilling into the wall for fiber access: "man, this drywall sure as hell is dusty. FUCK, I should start trading STOCKS. HELL YEAH. FUCK YES THIS WALL RULES. WAIT FUCK YOU MAN THIS WALL IS MINE NOW."

@aud @0xabad1dea technician gonna sell me an online course

robotreader Mar 4

@0xabad1dea surely it'd have to be worse than drugs, right? nobody is gonna bother reporting drugs.

@sdubinsky funny additional lore: Amsterdam runs a public safety announcement about how you should report drug labs in your apartment building because they're prone to exploding.

it was filmed in our building.

the neighbor in question was a pain about it

robotreader Mar 4

@0xabad1dea **fascinating**

Mute Dog Brewing Mar 4

@0xabad1dea @sdubinsky time to report that person's drug lab?

James Widman Mar 4

@Mutedog @0xabad1dea @sdubinsky ...but if there's no evidence and it turns out to be a false accusation, that might potentially open up new legal headaches.

like it might be the case that they really aren't hiding anything; it's just that they're *exceedingly* annoying.

just pro-tier annoying

Ben Aveling Mar 4

A mate used to live opposite a drug dealer - lots of visitors, and at very odd hours.
@JamesWidman @Mutedog @0xabad1dea @sdubinsky

@0xabad1dea the plot thickens

Kawaoneechan Mar 4

@0xabad1dea My apartment used to be a drug lab.

For a couple months after moving in, I still got angry letters from repo men addressed to a guy who had long since fled the area. Fun!

The Orange Theme Mar 4

@kawa @0xabad1dea I, uh, I hope you got a good deal on it. 😬

Cat 🐈‍⬛🛰️Mar 4

@0xabad1dea You'd think that he could just throw sheets over anything questionable and claim he's painting. Any suspicious silhouettes under a sheet, add a pillow or teapot or something identifiably "normal".

(I know, I'm making sense or something.)

Maybe a hoarder and embarrassed about it?

FurryBeta Mar 4

@0xabad1dea @sdubinsky Hmm, an obvious, but perhaps unjust, question in that

The Turtle Mar 4

@0xabad1dea @sdubinsky could the other 35 of you just get together and beat the fuck out of him with giant purple dildos or something?

Telepyleia Mar 4

@0xabad1dea @sdubinsky used to live above a known major drug dealer.

He got nabbed when his tap sprung a leak whilst he was abroad or in the clink, I forget which.

The water company arrived to fix it, forced open the door only to, gosh, discover a stash of guns and a veritable wall of now very wet coke bricks under his sink.

The apartment cleaners told me the water guy looked suspiciously burly and "cop like" and we all suspected some not entirely legal shenanigans took place, but getting rid of that guy outweighed any procedural concerns.

chronophage Mar 4

@0xabad1dea Suggest perhaps that bad neighbor offer a bump to the technician? Engender goodwill and perhaps maybe expedite the service call overall?

George Greer Mar 4

@0xabad1dea Clearly should’ve hidden it with the cure to blindness like other famous cocaine-stashes.

@0xabad1dea I'm imagining Animal Crossing style themed furniture, except it's all cocaine bricks

@0xabad1dea Dammit, I forgot about that. Apologies.

@Canageek I'm not saying it's impossible I'm saying it would make the bad neighbor even more annoying in the light of the fact that literally no-one is offended

@0xabad1dea Good to know!

Also I thought Berlin was sex dungeon capital, so I learned something today!

@0xabad1dea @Canageek what if it's an _unlicensed_ sex dungeon? There are regulations! Health and safety!

0xC0DEC0DE07EA Mar 4

@0xabad1dea Bible study

Space Hobo Mar 4

@0xabad1dea Also, Amsterdam, the capital city for "No we never bought any curtains. Why would we do a thing like that??"

Graham Sutherland / Polynomial Mar 4

@0xabad1dea ask if they'll let the technician in if they say the FLŰGGÅƏNK∂€ČHIŒβØL∫ÊN safe word

neodog_flag_aro

@0xabad1dea I read reptiles instead of replies and I was confused

@makiki well, you seem to be one reptile in my replies, and this is mastodon so there are surely more

@0xabad1dea ... well I clearly missed out on seeing them when I went to Amsterdam

@Ninji it's mostly het-centric I'm afraid

Brian Danger Hicks Mar 4

@0xabad1dea maybe it's because they're embarrassed they don't have a sex dungeon

Cynthia / Estienne Mar 4

My guess would be "free use 24/7" combined with bdsm dungeon

Matt Blaze Mar 4

@0xabad1dea now you have me wondering what someone in Amsterdam would find so embarrassing or incriminating that they’d feel compelled to hide it.

Fi 🏳️‍⚧️Mar 4

@mattblaze @0xabad1dea

a closet full of lugers and other "memorabilia"

Wouter Hindriks Mar 4

@munin @mattblaze @0xabad1dea Nah, just cash & coke.

@mattblaze a catholic church

João Tiago Rebelo (NAFO J-121)Mar 4

@0xabad1dea at least 3 or 4 that smell like wet dog and have golden hairs...

@0xabad1dea probably zero

can't they just leave his hookup outside? unless his unit is a load bearing unit

@me the fiber optic technicians specifically said they must do something in every apartment or there's no point in doing anything in any of them. (I don't know what/why.)

eestileib (she/hers)Mar 4

@0xabad1dea @me

Well, it's pointless from their perspective b/c they'll just get called back anyway to wire the last apartment once that tenant moves out.

@0xabad1dea if that neighbor knows that fiber is gonna benefit you in particular then he might want to get back at you

@me I genuinely don't think it's about the argument over Odin because this is not the first time this neighbor has been REALLY weird about plumbers/technicians/etc and their general right to privacy

@0xabad1dea @me That's completely nonsensical.

@0xabad1dea I would be very tempted to text back "No one cares about your BDSM dungeon, Janet, the tech will have seen worse"

But I might be a bad person

Erik Bosman Mar 4

@0xabad1dea and /that's/ why you don't bury the skeletons in the *utility* closet.

Graham Sutherland / Polynomial Mar 4

@0xabad1dea sex dungeon. 100%.

schrotthaufen Mar 4

@gsuberland @0xabad1dea I was going to guess drug dealer apartment, but I like your suggestion better. Especially since the technicians will have seen both, or worse, before.

🌈 Kerblambuli 🦄Mar 4

@gsuberland must be quite the frightening one. Maybe a BDSM sub living with them? Or two for some balance and good measure? No clothes? 😬 @0xabad1dea

Chris Petrilli Mar 4

@ChrisUplus @gsuberland @0xabad1dea I'm going to guess more boring.

Hoarder.

@0xabad1dea at least 36 more soon, based on their response 🙃