Let's do a little check in!

I'm about 33000 words into my book, most of that has been written in the last week or so. It is going really well. I'm super excited about it!

As I kind of figured would happen, sporadic content on some of my platforms has shown up. I put out a blog on Uncovering Your Reality and there was an email out yesterday as well. That will continue!

I've also set up an "essay style" blog called Essays on Truth. I just posted about that. You can check it out.

My podcast, Master Your Being has been quiet as has my Patreon account.

The advantage to Patreon going forward will be the option of gaining some support from me. Each level has the opportunity to ask questions or work with me in some limited fashion. I added a 5th level to Patreon a while back which includes a one-hour video chat per month of the subscription plus all the benefits of the other tiers. You can book the first one immediately when you sign up.

Why would you do that over book a one-off session? You save $25 CAD on the cost of the session by signing up for the subscription on Patreon. If you're wanting a monthly session with me, Patreon is the cheaper way to get that. You get the bonus of some additional content and some other ways to access support from me as well.

Private coaching and one-off individual sessions continue to be available. You can work with me to shift your focus and feel better in your life. I can teach you how to use your life experience to guide you instead of always being afraid of the next thing. I have tools and strategies that I've learned along the way that I can offer you to make life easier.

Pay what you can and scholarship options are available for the private coaching packages. Reach out if you have questions.

I'm going to do a separate post about where I'm going and my priority shift moving forward!

All the links to all the things are available at https://dellawren.com.

Love all of you!

Della

#writer #writerslife #author #coaching #privatecoaching #patreon #extrahelp #subscriptions #easyaccess #selfmastery #focus #selfmasterycoach #focuscoach #healing #spirituality #perception #perspective

Have you ever tried to walk across hot coals?

Is that a physical activity or a mental one?

Is it supposed to hurt?

How do people do that successfully without burning their feet off?

What if healing could be like that? What if healing was mostly a mental activity like walking across hot coals?

The thing with healing is it's scary to most people because they are very unsure of what they will find. But much like walking across hot coals, if you're mentally prepared for the experience, then there is nothing to run away from. You just do it and you're fine.

Notice what people that walk across hot coals aren't doing. They aren't telling themselves that the coals aren't hot. We're not making up stories that aren't true to convince ourselves to do it. We're not lying to ourselves about what's happening. We're not squishing anything. If we do it successfully then no pain is experienced.

I believe healing is the same way. Healing when done successfully invokes minimal pain. It doesn't mean no pain ever. It just means manageable pain that doesn't cause you to run away from what you're doing.

The thing that happens for a lot of people is that the pain becomes overwhelming and it causes them to avoid the whole thing. So now healing is suddenly burning your feet off on the hot coals. It becomes a means of torturing yourself instead of something useful.

When you understand how to heal without the pain, when you understand how to walk across the coals and not burn your feet off, then you can do it successfully. It becomes a repeatable thing.

My goal is to offer you a way to heal that is manageable and not overwhelming. That's why I keep going back to the idea of focus. What you pay attention to matters. How you see it matters. The story you tell yourself in your head matters.

There are better ways to heal than to simply try to burn your feet off or rip yourself apart. It just doesn't have to be that painful.

When you're ready, I can help with your focus.

Check out the link below.
https://coaching.dellawren.com

Love to all.

Della

#hotcoals #mentalactivity #emotions #healing #notpainful #focuscoach #focus #selfmasterycoach #selfmastery #awareness #privatecoaching #perspective #perception

I don't have a 10 step process for healing.

I don't even have a magic formula.

There is no secret sauce.

I don't need you to pay me to share what I've learned. It's all freely available between here and my blogs, there's nothing you can't get this way. If you have the will and the determination to figure it out on your own, you absolutely can do that and never pay me a dime.

I create group programs as lower priced options that give you some connection with me because I can answer your questions there and offer a little bit of extra support that I can't do through a post or a blog.

I offer private coaching and one off sessions as a way for me to be able to support you directly and fully in whatever it is you're working through. It's my focus and attention on whatever is going on for you. My role in that scenario is to help you shift your focus to make it easier for you to deal with what's going on around you.

They are just different levels of support, all with the same general intention. Shifting your focus, changing how you see it, removing the filter of pain that you have, and ending the stories of blame, shame, guilt, and victimization that you tell will make you feel better in the life that you're in.

You don't have to change your life to feel better.

You can just change yourself within the life you're already in and you will feel better automatically.

How do I know? Because I did it and I didn't radically change my external reality to do it. I committed to shifting my focus, getting control over my thinking, and letting go of the stories. And it worked.

Let me know how I can help you. All of my paid programs and private coaching packages have free and pay what you can spots available.

You don't have to pay me, you just have to be willing to do the work.

I'm here when you're ready to shift your focus and feel better.

Love to all.

Della

#shiftyourfocus #feelbetter #dothework #healing #spirituality #privatecoaching #focuscoach #focus #selfmastery #selfmasterycoach #programs #options #workwithme #helpingothers

When I work with you, I'm there to shift your focus away from the thing that causes pain.

I'm not here to judge the situation you're in. I'm not here to judge the choices you're making. I'm just looking for pain in your choices. Are you doing things because you think you have to? Are you creating dysfunction? Is the choice coming from pain?

I want you to make choices that make you happy and that means dealing with the pain.

I don't need you to make choices I agree with. I want you to make choices that aren't painful to you and that don't create more pain for you.

I've taught myself to filter out the drama and emotion that comes in our life experiences. Because I filter out the emotions and drama, the experience is just about who said what to who. The experience itself doesn't matter much at all. What does matter is how it made you feel and what you did with it within yourself. That's where my focus goes.

The emotional reaction and drama you add to it is just a clue as to what's happening for you. It points to the problem, but the problem isn't the experience, the problem isn't even the emotional reaction, the problem is what you do with all that after the fact. That's what we work on.

The truth is I do the same thing for myself. I can still allow the emotional response. I can still allow myself to have the reaction. I just filter it out after. I don't hang onto it. I recognize it as adding unnecessary color and drama. So it starts and it stops. It stays self-contained and it doesn't affect my focus after the fact.

That extra color and drama skews my perception. If I want clear focus then I have to filter out the emotion. So I just wait to fix my focus until after the emotion is done with and then I make sure I don't try to interpret by filtering through it. I don't blame others for how I feel. I don't blame my experience for how I feel. The feelings just are. They are neither good nor bad. They just happen and that's fine. I don't hang onto the emotion. It comes and goes.

The problem for most people is they hang onto their emotions and then it skews their perception later. I've learned not to do that so I can spot it and filter it out. I don't have to get tied up in the emotion of it.

All that emotion skews your perception. You react to the emotion instead of responding to the experience. There's a big difference there. One is going to keep you in pain and the other is going to give you clarity.

The emotions are never the problem. It's what you do with them that matters. That's what I'm here to help you sort out.

I want you to have mental clarity so that you can see what's going on and interpret things differently.

You'll start to recognize the pain in other people and you'll stop reacting to it.

You won't need control over your external experience because you'll be able to manage yourself within it.

This offers you peace and internal well-being.

It allows you to have emotions and not be overwhelmed by them.

This is the work that I've done on myself and now I'm offering it back to you through as many different paths as I can find.

I have private coaching options, one off individual sessions and I'm running a new group program called Relationship Goals. All of it is an effort to help you be okay, live your life, and create the reality you want without all the drama and pain we get taught to add into everything.

Message me if you have questions.

Here's the link.
https://dellawren.com

Love to all.

Della

#coaching #coach #helpingothers #privatecoaching #groupclasses #offerings #focus #focuscoach #selfmastery #selfmasterycoach #healing #spirituality #ContentCreator #emotions #EmotionalDrama #clarity

I realized a while ago that probably 90% of the pain in my life came from my perspective of the experiences that I'd had, not from the experiences themselves.

I created the vast majority of my own pain through my thoughts.

That truth didn't bother me at all. It was actually a good thing.

That meant that my life hadn't been particularly traumatic. It meant that nothing had happened that I couldn't handle. It meant that once I figured out where the pain was from and what to do with it, I could be okay. It meant that I literally just had to be able to manage my focus and I would be fine.

I didn't beat myself up because I had a screwy focus.

I didn't beat myself up because I'd created all my own pain.

I just accepted that those younger versions of me were doing the best they could. I tried. Life happened. What I was doing wasn't working, but I was trying, even if unsuccessfully. Personally, that's good enough.

I don't need to wish it away. I don't need to go back and change it.

It made me who I am now. It gave me a passion for helping others fix their focus, shift their perception, and get out of their own way. I'm grateful for that journey and what it offered me.

Shifting my focus wasn't necessarily the easiest thing in the world but it wasn't as painful as some of the healing processes I've watched others work their way through.

So yes, I'm here to challenge your perception of things and challenge your focus. What are you paying attention to? How is that making you feel? Why are you focusing on pain and problems?

I don't have all the answers. I just know that when you manage to get control over the mind, you shift your focus away from the struggles, create a relationship with what you want, and you move in that direction, life gets better.

If you want life to get better without wading through pain neck deep, I have a way to do this that doesn't require you to swim in the pain, it just requires you to shift your focus.

I'm going to challenge you to think differently, because that's what I do. But when you're ready to think differently and you're tired of defending the problems, I have options.

I've been talking about this all week! I'm offering a brainstorming session on Sunday called Your Focus Matters. It's a chance to just chat and see what shows up. We'll talk about focus and perception. We can talk about balance and how to manage the pain. We can talk about all the things that are coming up for you right now. I'll be there to answer the questions. And yes, I'm going to challenge your focus.

I've been so busy talking about Your Focus Matters this week that I haven't been offering my private coaching packages, but they are still there. Private coaching is for those that want the deep dive into focus shifting. This is for those that truly ready to let the focus on pain go. I have multiple options and payment plans available.

I truly don't believe life needs to be that hard. Most of it is about what we focus on, not about what actually happens. I want to show you how that works and how you can do it for yourself.

Come join me on Sunday! It's a cheap way to have a chat with me and begin the process of shifting your own focus. Here's the link.

https://dellawren.com

Love to all.

Della

#focus #focuscoach #selfmastery #selfmasterycoach #selfmasteryofthemind #healing #spirituality #perception #perspective #privatecoaching #yourfocusmatters #brainstormingsession #journey #paths #feelbetter

What if I told you the truth wasn't painful?

Would you believe me?

We think the truth hurts because of our perception of it. The truth is actually neutral though. It just is.

The truth in my own life is that I created my own pain through my wonky perception and the actions that I took because of that wonky perception.

I hurt me. I created my pain. I created my reality. I created many of the problems that I perceived in my own life.

Does that mean that nobody projected their pain at me? That nobody around me did anything "bad"?

Of course not. Here's the thing: I can't control them. If they choose to project their pain that's up to them. My job is to control what I do with that. I can make that painful for myself through my perception and the story that I make up about it or I can accept that they are throwing pain, not pick it up, not try to control it, and just leave it there. I don't have to take it on. That's a choice that I get to make every time somebody does or says something that I perceive to be painful.

I create my own pain through my perception of myself and other people. Other people throwing their pain around does not automatically mean I need to be in pain too. That's a story and a choice. I'm in control of that.

When people say mean things to me these days, I don't defend myself anymore. Does that surprise you? I don't tell people off. I don't argue. I just leave it. People are in pain, they are allowed to be there. I don't try to change it or them. They just are. I don't have to do anything about it. I've made a choice to stop defending myself from the pain of others.

I have control over my own perception. I can question the story the ego makes up. I don't have to take on anything that's not mine. I've learned to just be okay most of the time.

My entire journey has been about a search for truth. When I started healing I asked the Universe to make it make sense. I wanted to understand the pain and what I came to was very simple: my screwy, wonky perception created 99% of the pain that I experienced, nothing else.

That truth offered me peace. I no longer need to defend myself against anything. I don't have to argue with my past. I don't have to beat myself up. I don't have to do any of it. It's all just allowed to be there and I can be okay surrounded by it.

This is the journey that I try to offer through my work. I want you to find this for yourself. Because of that I've scheduled a "brainstorming session" for this coming Sunday where we're talking about focus and why it matters so much.

Unlike past workshops and things that I've done, I'm not teaching anything this time, I'm just sharing. I'm sharing intuitively while opening up to discussion and questions. I want to see what comes through. I want to see what we can uncover and what we can learn about the truth in our focus.

It's only $27 CAD or about $20 USD. If that's a stretch, which I totally get, just message me. We can work it out. I'll be offering it in a private Facebook group because it makes offering the recording really simple. I never close those Facebook groups so it will be there indefinitely.

I still have private coaching spots and one-off sessions available for those who would like a little bit more unwinding the stories they are telling themselves.

Here's the link. https://dellawren.com

The first button on the page is for the Your Focus Matters brainstorming session on Sunday.

See you there.

Love to all.

Della

#perception #focuscoach #focus #selfmasterycoach #selfmastery #thetruthhurts #truth #painfulperception #healing #spirituality #nopain #privatecoaching #brainstorming #brainstormingsession #conversation #facebookgroup

People are starting to join Your Focus Matters brainstorming session!

Come join us!

https://yourfocusmatters.dellawren.com

#brainstorming #brainstormingsession #focus #focuscoach #workshop #yourfocusmatters #selfmastery #healing #spirituality #problem #worry #fear #privatecoaching #replay #livewebinar #comejoinme #writer #author #indieauthor

Your Focus Matters

That's the title of the brainstorming session I'll be offering on Sunday, May 7th.

To heal myself one of the first things that I had to do was shift my focus away from all the things that were causing me to be anxious, afraid, and worried.

It wasn't that those things weren't important anymore, it was that they were causing me so much stress and pain that I couldn't see what was actually going on. All the pain messed with my perception of things, caused me to not be able to find solutions, and kept me stuck in the pain for a really long time.

Your focus matters because it determines what's going on in your head. It determines how you feel. It determines what you do next and the choices that you make.

Every time I suggest that people shift their focus away from the problem, the fear shows up. I get it. It's scary to think that maybe we don't have to focus on the problems. The mind wants to tell us they'll jump up and bite us if we're not watching, but that's not true. That's the mind making up the story to keep where you are because it's trying to protect you from your own goals and from healing.

Why does it do that?

Because those goals have unknown outcomes and so the mind fills in the blank, usually with something painful. It's a protection mechanism. Your mind is not out to get you.

So, I'm offering a 2-hour brainstorming session. It's the opportunity to come and listen to me think out loud about my own experience around shifting my focus.

I'll be offering ideas, strategies, and tips that I've learned along the way to help you manage your own focus a little better.

You'll be able to ask questions and think out loud too.

It's an opportunity to question our focus and why we think we have to maintain it. Why do we get stuck in these thought patterns?

For those of you that have been around awhile, this will be a very different thing from anything I've done in the past. I used to try to offer concrete strategies because I kept trying to "fix the problem" for you, but of course I can't do that.

The thing that I can offer is only what I've learned along the way. Hopefully in doing that, it will give you something that you can apply to your own life and move forward with more easily.

I'm keeping the tech simple and putting this in a Facebook group so that replays are a given and you can access the recording anytime you like.

It's also reasonably priced for most budgets at only $27 CAD (about $20 USD). If that's still a stretch and you want in, just message me and we'll work it out.

Here's the link to sign up.
https://yourfocusmatters.dellawren.com/

Love to all.

Della

#brainstorming #brainstormingsession #focus #focuscoach #workshop #yourfocusmatters #selfmastery #healing #spirituality #problem #worry #fear #privatecoaching #replay #livewebinar #comejoinme #writer #author #indieauthor

The difficulty in self-awareness often comes in figuring out what the real argument is.

There is the story your mind is telling you and then sometimes there is something much deeper that the mind isn't talking about. That deeper truth is the thing that actually needs to be healed. The surface argument can be dropped and ignored more often than not.

I just unwound something for myself that changed how the puzzle of my own healing has been put together. The picture now looks completely different even though the pieces are the same.

Have you ever solved a puzzle that could be put together more than one way?

What if I told you that was possible when you're healing yourself?

There's the story you think you're telling and then there's the real story buried underneath that.

So the story I thought I was telling was the one where videos are bad because I don't like looking at me. The story I was actually telling was the one where I like to be a hermit crab and I don't want to connect with other people.

Hey wait! Those are different stories, aren't they?

My wounded hermit crab self wanted my content to do the talking for me so that I could stay in my shell and hide. Guess what? I made a choice to teach people how to become more self-aware. I made a choice to show people how to work on healing themselves so they could feel better. When I did that it took away the option to hide. I just ignored that when I made the choice.

Why did I ignore it? Because other goals were more important at the time. I made the goal the priority which was exactly what I needed to do and because I did that it led me here. It showed me the truth of the wound that I was carrying which was the need to hide.

When I plug that need to hide into the other aspects of my healing journey, it changes the picture of my healing journey. Many of the things that I was arguing with were really about me not wanting to be a public face. The arguments I was having were still important, but they were more surface level stuff. I've now found the deeper truth in my journey.

This is why the journey is so valuable. This is why making the goal more important than the pain you might experience is so critical. It keeps you in the game and because it keeps you in the game you can find those deeper truths. You won't find them if you don't go on the journey because you're scared of what might happen.

If I had known that a few years after I made the choice to teach instead of just write stuff, that I would be here talking about my hermit crab wounds, I wouldn't have gone on the journey.

You don't want to know the outcome because it will stop you. You tell yourself you want to know the outcome so you can make an informed choice, but that choice is based on the fear you're currently experiencing. That keeps you stuck and creates pain.

I don't want to avoid this. I'd much rather be here writing this then still stuck in the pain. If I had known the outcome back then I wouldn't have done it. But there is nothing to avoid. This isn't a difficult thing. I can handle it from where I am now. My fear of it back then would have stopped me cold because I wasn't ready to heal the wound yet, but now I am. Do you see the difference?

Your current self is trying to make choices for your choices for your future self. That's not fair to your future self because it doesn't take into account all the healing that happens between now and then. That's why you need to get okay with the journey.

As long as your current self is willing to go on the journey your future self will have the tools to figure it out. That's why the journey matters because it gives you the space to deal with the fear before you get to the outcome you're afraid of.

When you make choices, make them from where you are now not from where you're afraid of being later. Your future self will love you but they don't need you to make choices for them. They've got it covered.

If you want some help working through this stuff I have a path and plans. Through private coaching I can give you ways to manage this so that you can stay in the present and not project fear into the future.

Hit up my website for more info. https://dellawren.com

Love to all.

Della

#futureself #presentself #truth #arguments #fear #BuriedDreams #selfmastery #selfmasterycoach #focus #focuscoach #privatecoaching #contentcreator #patreoncreator #patreon #writer #indieauthor

I don't have to trigger old pain in people when I work with them. Why? Because their external experience is already offering them pain.

The pain that's being offered through their perception of what's happening is the thing that needs to be worked through at the moment. That's the clue the Universe is offering. That's the breadcrumb trail. I don't need to create an artificial path to healing. It already exists in their perception of their experience.

What do I do differently?

I question the pain the experience is offering. I question your perception, your thinking, and your story. I don't question the experience, it just is.

I don't question your feelings either because they are the clue that something isn't right in your perception. Your feelings are a very valid hint at what's going on.

I don't really heal feelings. I deal with the perceptions that cause the feelings to show up in the first place. The feelings kind of take care of themselves. Yes we can acknowledge them and I will honor them every single time. I will never push you through them. They are allowed to be there. Unless my goal is to desensitize you though, the feelings do just simply get to be there and we learn how to not be distracted by them and instead understand why they are there.

Working with me only seems scary because I'm asking you take control of things that you're not sure you want control over yet. But I promise you, getting control over this stuff gives you the freedom to move in any direction you want. You no longer have to be stuck in or limited by the pain that you've collected over the years.

You'll learn to understand the pain and how it's showing up in your life. I do that by using your current life experience as the breadcrumb trail to show me what work needs to be done. What I tell every client is that if your life is quiet it's going to start to get noisier because the Universe is now going to start offering you experiences for us to work with. That's how it goes.

Every time I've ever asked for an experience in my own healing journey, it's showed up within a day or two. The same will be true for you. It's the Universe's way of showing you that you're supported in healing yourself.

I have multiple private coaching packages available along with payment plans and even some scholarships for people that can't afford to pay for the plans.

Message me for details or hit up my website.

https://dellawren.com

Love to all.

Della

#privatecoaching #selfmasterycoach #selfmastery #focus #focuscoach #lifeexperience #journey #breadcrumbtrail #healing #spirituality #perception