Let's do a little check in!

I'm about 33000 words into my book, most of that has been written in the last week or so. It is going really well. I'm super excited about it!

As I kind of figured would happen, sporadic content on some of my platforms has shown up. I put out a blog on Uncovering Your Reality and there was an email out yesterday as well. That will continue!

I've also set up an "essay style" blog called Essays on Truth. I just posted about that. You can check it out.

My podcast, Master Your Being has been quiet as has my Patreon account.

The advantage to Patreon going forward will be the option of gaining some support from me. Each level has the opportunity to ask questions or work with me in some limited fashion. I added a 5th level to Patreon a while back which includes a one-hour video chat per month of the subscription plus all the benefits of the other tiers. You can book the first one immediately when you sign up.

Why would you do that over book a one-off session? You save $25 CAD on the cost of the session by signing up for the subscription on Patreon. If you're wanting a monthly session with me, Patreon is the cheaper way to get that. You get the bonus of some additional content and some other ways to access support from me as well.

Private coaching and one-off individual sessions continue to be available. You can work with me to shift your focus and feel better in your life. I can teach you how to use your life experience to guide you instead of always being afraid of the next thing. I have tools and strategies that I've learned along the way that I can offer you to make life easier.

Pay what you can and scholarship options are available for the private coaching packages. Reach out if you have questions.

I'm going to do a separate post about where I'm going and my priority shift moving forward!

All the links to all the things are available at https://dellawren.com.

Love all of you!

Della

#writer #writerslife #author #coaching #privatecoaching #patreon #extrahelp #subscriptions #easyaccess #selfmastery #focus #selfmasterycoach #focuscoach #healing #spirituality #perception #perspective

I've been writing and I had an amazing meeting yesterday with a new client and completely forgot to mention that my latest podcast episode is out, the daily emails are out, and my Patreon subscribers have their blog for the week as well!

It's all available now for your reading and listening pleasure just in time for the weekend!

As a minor update, I'm happy to report that I have written about 10 000 words in the last couple of days and I am currently writing a blog for Tuesday because I have things to share and I can't resist writing about it! Yep, shiny objects it is!

I'm going to finish writing the blog and get back to my book!

Oh yeah, here's the link!
https://dellawren.com

Much love to all of you!

Have an amazing weekend!

Della

#updates #podcast #patreon #contentcreator #selfmasterycoach #selfmastery #focus #focuscoach #blogs #writer #writerlife #lovemylife #justwriting #dontstop #keepgoing #makeithappen #livingthedream

Your point of control is in not allowing your judgment of other people's behavior to mess with your perception of the pain they are offering you.

Della

#perception #judgment #control #relationships #selfmastery #selfmasterycoach #focuscoach #focus #healing #spirituality

The ego says if I can't control it, then I'm a victim of it. This lie keeps you in a pattern of pain. Change your perception of what control looks like because this idea isn't helping you.

Della

#selfmasterycoach #control #ego #victims #perception #focus #focuscoach #relationships #selfmastery #healing #spirituality

Have you ever tried to walk across hot coals?

Is that a physical activity or a mental one?

Is it supposed to hurt?

How do people do that successfully without burning their feet off?

What if healing could be like that? What if healing was mostly a mental activity like walking across hot coals?

The thing with healing is it's scary to most people because they are very unsure of what they will find. But much like walking across hot coals, if you're mentally prepared for the experience, then there is nothing to run away from. You just do it and you're fine.

Notice what people that walk across hot coals aren't doing. They aren't telling themselves that the coals aren't hot. We're not making up stories that aren't true to convince ourselves to do it. We're not lying to ourselves about what's happening. We're not squishing anything. If we do it successfully then no pain is experienced.

I believe healing is the same way. Healing when done successfully invokes minimal pain. It doesn't mean no pain ever. It just means manageable pain that doesn't cause you to run away from what you're doing.

The thing that happens for a lot of people is that the pain becomes overwhelming and it causes them to avoid the whole thing. So now healing is suddenly burning your feet off on the hot coals. It becomes a means of torturing yourself instead of something useful.

When you understand how to heal without the pain, when you understand how to walk across the coals and not burn your feet off, then you can do it successfully. It becomes a repeatable thing.

My goal is to offer you a way to heal that is manageable and not overwhelming. That's why I keep going back to the idea of focus. What you pay attention to matters. How you see it matters. The story you tell yourself in your head matters.

There are better ways to heal than to simply try to burn your feet off or rip yourself apart. It just doesn't have to be that painful.

When you're ready, I can help with your focus.

Check out the link below.
https://coaching.dellawren.com

Love to all.

Della

#hotcoals #mentalactivity #emotions #healing #notpainful #focuscoach #focus #selfmasterycoach #selfmastery #awareness #privatecoaching #perspective #perception

Who's in limbo?

There's a space that some people create between their thoughts and their emotions. It's a neutral space where they hang out because they don't want to deal with what they are thinking or feeling.

This neutral space creates a feeling of disconnection and confusion. It creates a sense of feeling of being lost.

The reason for this perception is that they have created their own disconnection with themselves. The refusal to deal with neither the thoughts nor the feelings is what causes it.

The mind is out of control so we avoid that.

The emotions are terrifying because they are overwhelming, so we avoid those too.

Now what?

Put space in there between the two things and hang out in this limbo land whether neither gets acknowledged.

At some point you have to pick one. It doesn't matter which, but you have to pick one as a place to start. Get control over something.

If it were me, I'd go for the mind because the mind will allow you to control the emotions inadvertently or indirectly. By managing our thinking, the emotions come under some control anyway because now you're not having the thoughts that are generating the emotions.

Honestly, you can start with either, but one is always going to make you deal with the other. You can't avoid dealing with both eventually. Starting with one is just a good middle ground.

Limbo land is a painful spot to be in because it feels a little bit like a trap. It's not a trap. You're being asked to pick a direction and do something about either your thoughts or your feelings. It's a place where you get to make a choice.

The idea of it being a trap shows up because you're afraid of dealing with those things. You don't want to make that choice. It causes fear.

The only way out is through. You have to pick a direction and go in it.

Which one are you choosing?

Love to all.

Della

#limboland #neutralspaces #thoughts #emotions #focuscoach #focus #spirituality #healing #denial #choices #trap #fear #selfmastery #selfmasterycoach

I don't have a 10 step process for healing.

I don't even have a magic formula.

There is no secret sauce.

I don't need you to pay me to share what I've learned. It's all freely available between here and my blogs, there's nothing you can't get this way. If you have the will and the determination to figure it out on your own, you absolutely can do that and never pay me a dime.

I create group programs as lower priced options that give you some connection with me because I can answer your questions there and offer a little bit of extra support that I can't do through a post or a blog.

I offer private coaching and one off sessions as a way for me to be able to support you directly and fully in whatever it is you're working through. It's my focus and attention on whatever is going on for you. My role in that scenario is to help you shift your focus to make it easier for you to deal with what's going on around you.

They are just different levels of support, all with the same general intention. Shifting your focus, changing how you see it, removing the filter of pain that you have, and ending the stories of blame, shame, guilt, and victimization that you tell will make you feel better in the life that you're in.

You don't have to change your life to feel better.

You can just change yourself within the life you're already in and you will feel better automatically.

How do I know? Because I did it and I didn't radically change my external reality to do it. I committed to shifting my focus, getting control over my thinking, and letting go of the stories. And it worked.

Let me know how I can help you. All of my paid programs and private coaching packages have free and pay what you can spots available.

You don't have to pay me, you just have to be willing to do the work.

I'm here when you're ready to shift your focus and feel better.

Love to all.

Della

#shiftyourfocus #feelbetter #dothework #healing #spirituality #privatecoaching #focuscoach #focus #selfmastery #selfmasterycoach #programs #options #workwithme #helpingothers

It's Tuesday and that means there is new stuff available!

My Daily Dose of Inspiration email went out at 4:44PM Central time today. It goes out everyday during the week. If you'd like in you can sign up on my website.

Patreon subscribers, you can now listen to the newest episode of my podcast, Master Your Being. The episode is called Your Connection Matters. It's all about your connection to your goals! Subscribe and go have a listen! The podcast will be available generally to everybody else on Thursday.

My weekly blog on Uncovering Your Reality is up! It's on a different platform, so if you subscribed for emails, you'll have to do it again (sorry to be a pain). In this blog I was talking about relationships with other people and how important it is to take care of yourself and stay in your power. Go have a read, it's a good one this week!

Also, in case you missed it, I'm running a new 5-part series called Relationship Goals, all about your connection to your dreams or goals and why it matters so much. This is for anybody who has any sort of goal or dream, including just being happy. If you want to understand how to connect to that dream and move forward, this is for you!

All the info on all the things is available on my website at https://dellawren.com.

By the way, there will always be free and pay what you can spots available in all of my paid work. If you can't afford it and you know you need it and you're willing to do the work, send me a message! I've got you covered!

Love to all.

Della

#selfmasterycoach #selfmastery #focus #focuscoach #healing #spirituality #livewebinars #facebookgroups #perspective #perception #goals #dreams #relationshipgoals

When I work with you, I'm there to shift your focus away from the thing that causes pain.

I'm not here to judge the situation you're in. I'm not here to judge the choices you're making. I'm just looking for pain in your choices. Are you doing things because you think you have to? Are you creating dysfunction? Is the choice coming from pain?

I want you to make choices that make you happy and that means dealing with the pain.

I don't need you to make choices I agree with. I want you to make choices that aren't painful to you and that don't create more pain for you.

I've taught myself to filter out the drama and emotion that comes in our life experiences. Because I filter out the emotions and drama, the experience is just about who said what to who. The experience itself doesn't matter much at all. What does matter is how it made you feel and what you did with it within yourself. That's where my focus goes.

The emotional reaction and drama you add to it is just a clue as to what's happening for you. It points to the problem, but the problem isn't the experience, the problem isn't even the emotional reaction, the problem is what you do with all that after the fact. That's what we work on.

The truth is I do the same thing for myself. I can still allow the emotional response. I can still allow myself to have the reaction. I just filter it out after. I don't hang onto it. I recognize it as adding unnecessary color and drama. So it starts and it stops. It stays self-contained and it doesn't affect my focus after the fact.

That extra color and drama skews my perception. If I want clear focus then I have to filter out the emotion. So I just wait to fix my focus until after the emotion is done with and then I make sure I don't try to interpret by filtering through it. I don't blame others for how I feel. I don't blame my experience for how I feel. The feelings just are. They are neither good nor bad. They just happen and that's fine. I don't hang onto the emotion. It comes and goes.

The problem for most people is they hang onto their emotions and then it skews their perception later. I've learned not to do that so I can spot it and filter it out. I don't have to get tied up in the emotion of it.

All that emotion skews your perception. You react to the emotion instead of responding to the experience. There's a big difference there. One is going to keep you in pain and the other is going to give you clarity.

The emotions are never the problem. It's what you do with them that matters. That's what I'm here to help you sort out.

I want you to have mental clarity so that you can see what's going on and interpret things differently.

You'll start to recognize the pain in other people and you'll stop reacting to it.

You won't need control over your external experience because you'll be able to manage yourself within it.

This offers you peace and internal well-being.

It allows you to have emotions and not be overwhelmed by them.

This is the work that I've done on myself and now I'm offering it back to you through as many different paths as I can find.

I have private coaching options, one off individual sessions and I'm running a new group program called Relationship Goals. All of it is an effort to help you be okay, live your life, and create the reality you want without all the drama and pain we get taught to add into everything.

Message me if you have questions.

Here's the link.
https://dellawren.com

Love to all.

Della

#coaching #coach #helpingothers #privatecoaching #groupclasses #offerings #focus #focuscoach #selfmastery #selfmasterycoach #healing #spirituality #ContentCreator #emotions #EmotionalDrama #clarity

Relationship Goals!

Yeah, it's a play on words. But it's a good one! ;)

Let's talk about your relationship with your goals, how to connect to your goal or dream, how that relationship is affected by things like fear and your old pain, why your connection to your goal matters, and how it can actually help you move forward when the going gets tough.

I'm offering a 5 part series all about your relationship with your goals and why it matters.

Yes, we're still talking about focus because what you focus on in terms of your goals matters.

Do you ever look at me and wonder why I'm still here? Those of you that have been around a while, do you ever wonder how I continue to persist? Do you ever look at all the loops I've made and just think I'm nuts?

My relationship with my own goal in my career is so powerful that it won't allow me to walk away. I keep coming back and trying new things. I keep coming back to understand what's going on and why. I keep learning. I keep growing. I keep changing. The reason I'm able to do that and not just give up, is because of my relationship with the bigger goal. (I might just be a little bit stubborn, too.)

I want to give you that power. I want to show that it's possible, that you can do it if you want to. You don't have to walk away. You don't have to give up. You just have to decide you're willing to do the work to figure it out . I'm here to show you how to do that for yourself.

- 5 live, 2-hour video seminars where you can ask questions and we can talk. That's 10 hours of live video with me!
- 6 weeks (one week off for a long weekend)
- one private Facebook group with replays available forever.

I've made the decision to keep my prices for group sessions like this very low as a way of opening this up to as many people as I can that want it.

That means I'm offering this for $222 CAD. Yes, there is a payment plan available. As I do consistently now, free and pay what you can spaces are available for those that want in and can't afford it. All you ever have to do is message me. I get the money thing. I've been there, I know what it's like. Just reach out if you want to.

If you have a goal, dream, or outcome that you want to achieve and you're struggling with getting there, this is for you.

Here's the link:
https://relationshipgoals.dellawren.com

Come hang out with me! I'd love to have you.

Message me with questions.

Love to all.

Della

#relationshipgoals #focussessions #focus #focuscoach #livewebinar #replay #selfmasterycoach #selfmastery #dreams #outcomes #relationships #workshop #healing #spirituality