At 19 I was told my health came second to my future husband.

At 22 I was told I would feel differently once I was “in love”

At 24 my boyfriend was asked if he would still love me if I couldn’t bear children.

My autonomy was violated for 5 years for a hypothetical baby

I had severe endometriosis and adenomyosis. My periods hell. They were irregular, heavy and painful. I would lay on the bathroom floor in unrelenting pain, throwing up and too weak to move.

As the years dragged on I became more disabled from the pain and anemia.

Surgeries to control the blood loss failed.

Medications to put me into chemical menopause failed.

Birth control pills failed.

I needed a hysterectomy.

I had never wanted children. I wasn’t even sure I wanted marriage. I was also far too disabled to get pregnant or raise a child.

So I asked for the surgery. I asked my doctors to remove the diseased organ destroying my quality of life.

I was firmly told “No” because I might meet a man who wants kids.

That even though I was too sick to survive pregnancy and likely infertile, I couldn’t make the choice to remove my womb in case I changed my mind when I met my dream man.

I told the doctors I didn’t want kids, it didn’t matter.

I pointed out I was too sick to care for myself, let alone a child, and it didn’t matter.

I said that my “dream man” would love me even if I couldn’t have kids, and the doctors laughed.

I had no bodily autonomy.

Medical misogyny was ruining my life.

I spent the next few years getting second and third opinions. Fighting like hell to get the surgery I knew I needed to have any shot at a “normal” life. When I began dating someone, I brought him to my appointments hoping he could convince them to operate.

They asked him if he would love me if I couldn’t give him biological children. He didn’t want kids either, but they said the same thing to him they kept saying to me: “You might change your mind”

Why is the medical system so obsessed with us having babies? Misogyny and patriarchy.

We could have changed our minds. We could have also broken up.

What “could” happen in the distant future should never be given more weight than what was happening in the present.

I was slowly dying. Bleeding to death and confined to bed. Relying on blood and iron transfusions to survive.

I tell this story every few months because I think it’s incredibly important we talk about our lack of autonomy.

The post Roe landscape is putting our lives in danger, and my story can hopefully help people understand why.

If I wasn’t able to make the choice I needed for my body when there was no fetus involved, imagine how hard it must be for pregnant people who need to access abortion?

Forced birth advocates love to trumpet the “exemption for the life of the mother” rule to justify abortion bans

But if doctors weren’t willing to remove my uterus when it was literally killing me, why are we trusting they will terminate a pregnancy when the mother’s life is at risk?

A hypothetical baby came before my life… imagine what would happen if there was a real fetus involved?

We know what happens.

Women die.

They bleed out in parking lots.

They become septic, lose their fertility or spend months fighting for their lives in the ICU.

Their care is delayed because the fetus comes first. And delayed care comes at a cost.

I finally got my hysterectomy, but only because I was bleeding out in the ER and transfusions couldn’t keep up.

By the time they finally gave me the surgery I spent years asking for, my survival odds were only 50/50.

Had they done it when I asked, it would have been 99%

It’s the same thing for those experiencing miscarriage or abortion complications.

If they could get timely healthcare, their odds of survival would be excellent.

When we tell doctors they can’t intervene until the life of the mother is “clearly” in jeopardy?

That’s when we start dying.

We deserve better. We need full autonomy over our reproductive systems, and that includes access to sterilization and abortion.

It’s time.

More on what my hysterectomy taught me about medical misogyny:

https://www.disabledginger.com/p/what-my-hysterectomy-taught-me-about

#uspol #fascism #hysterectomy #abortion #AbortionRights #reproductiverights #misogyny #patriarchy

FINALLY! Right to sterilizing treatment is LAW in NH

Last Wednesday, the governor of NH signed into law HB 606, prime sponsored by Rep Ellen Read (dubbed by Republicans as "the AOC of NH"), which guarantees that a doctor cannot withhold advisable sterilizing treatment from a patient simply because they don't agree with their right to be childfree (or because they are “too young" or will "change their mind" etc).

This makes NH the first government in the WORLD to guarantee the protection to childfree people!

Countless people have shared their frustration with being denied needed hysterectomies or other sterilizing treatments, being needlessly subjected to miserable conditions like prolapsed uteruses, cyclical vomiting, or debilitating pain... And the risk of dying from high risk unintended pregnancies while having conditions like autoimmune disorders, genetic disorders, or cancer.

Now, people who are suffering while getting denied treatment can go to NH (the law has been signed and takes effect Sept 13) and have THE RIGHT to have medically advisable sterilization treatments, regardless of age (if over 18), number of children, marital status, or any fertility goals contrary to your statement.

While the law states that the treatment must be for a qualifying medical condition, the definition of a medical definition is quite broad. Not only anything that affects the reproductive organs, but also anything that would make having children not advisable. This may include family medical history of inheritable diseases, genetic conditions, conditions that make pregnancy dangerous like autoimmune disorders or cancer, or mental health conditions that would make someone not a good parent.

And while gender dysphoria itself neither counts as something that affects the reproductive organs nor would make having children not advisable, the doctor cannot discriminate against people with gender dysphoria in providing the treatment.
So if you've been suffering with denials from doctors who care more about your fertility than your well being, take a trip in the fall to NH, the fall colors are beautiful!

#NH #HB606 #Endometriosis #PCOS #childfree #hysterectomy #RepRead #AOCofNH

TIL there’s a subreddit for #hysterectomy crocheting!!!

Love it! #crochet

When I needed a hysterectomy due to severe endometriosis & adenomyosis, I was repeatedly denied.

Told I “might want kids”

Told I “might meet a man who wants kids”

I was left disabled & bed ridden, yet the system continued to to try & save my diseased uterus against my will.

I was forced to undergo 6 painful surgeries to try and control the disease

Each one left me with more pain than the one before.

Each one took longer to recover from.

I was forced to undergo iron infusions which were incredibly painful.

When those failed I was forced to endure blood transfusions because my anemia was so bad my ferritin was zero.

I was forced to take strong hormones which pushed my body into a pseudo pregnancy state.

When that failed I was forced to take drugs to put me into chemical menopause. At 22 years old.

The drugs made me miserable & destroyed my health.

These drastic measures were taken to save an organ I didn’t want and could live without.

They were taken to preserve my fertility for a hypothetical future man despite my being clear I never wanted children

This went on for years.

I sought second opinions and third opinions.

I consulted with male and female doctors.

I got psychiatric clearance that I understood the risks and was competent to make up my own mind.

None of it mattered.

I was repeatedly treated as second to a man and a baby who didn’t even exist.

I was denied the autonomy to decide what I wanted for my body.

Eventually the bleeding became so severe they had to do the surgery as an emergency because I was dying in the ER.

By that point I had a boyfriend, albeit we had only been together a few months and he had no legal standing to make decisions for me.

As they were wheeling me off for emergency and life saving surgery, they stopped to ask HIS permission.

They asked him if he was “ok” with my being unable to bear children.

If he would leave me if I couldn’t procreate “for him”.

We hadn’t even said “I love you” yet

Needless to say he was enraged but told them to do what was necessary to save my life and leave him out of it.

He understood that it was my body, my choice.

If he ended up wanting children, we could have adopted. We could have used a surrogate. There were options.

Once my uterus was removed, my quality of life returned.

My anemia vanished and I was able to work and play and take care of myself again.

I was no longer in daily pain and chained to a hospital bed.

It was the best thing to ever happen to me.

Even some of the doctors who had denied me the right to choose remarked that I was a different person after the operation

Yet none of them said sorry. None said they were wrong. None expressed remorse for stealing years of my life in a futile attempt to save a womb I didn’t want

I think about what happened to me whenever I read about abortion rights being clawed back in the US.

I’m in Canada and wasn’t pregnant. If I was treated as second to my womb, what hope do American women have of coming first in states with strict bans?

The answer is… no hope.

One need not look any further than the case of Adriana Smith, who was declared brain dead at nine weeks pregnant and kept on organ and tissue support without the consent of next of kin.

The state turned her into an incubator due to an abortion ban

Her case is particularly horrifying, but we must remember that many people, especially among the Christian right, see us exactly that way.

We are vessels. Our sole purpose in life is to procreate.

What we want for our own lives comes second to our husbands & babies.

We need true autonomy over our bodies.

Medical misogyny has killed and harmed too many of us.

We need the legal right to decide what is best for ourselves and that right needs to extend to our wombs.

A man would never be forced to keep a diseased organ inside his body if he didn’t want it.

A man would never be told a hypothetical future wife comes before his own wants and needs.

It’s subjugation, and it needs to end.

We must all fight for true bodily autonomy.

For women like me. For women like Adriana. For the women in Georgia who’ve already lost their lives due to the abortion ban.

For our daughters, nieces and fellow travellers who deserve to be treated as people, not wombs.

#hysterectomy #abortion #womenshealth #autonomy #mybodymychoice #endometriosis #disability

The #Freedom to Choose #Hysterectomy

https://www.yesmagazine.org/body-politics/2025/05/26/get-it-out-excerpt

Even the gnats were embarrassed

Before the Hysterectomy
Emma Bolden

#Poetry #EmmaBolden #Hysterectomy #TheShore #Larkspur #Gnats

https://www.theshorepoetry.org/emma-bolden-before-the-hysterectomy

In my twenties, I was denied a medically necessary hysterectomy because I “might meet a man who wants kids”

I fought for years to get the surgery, spending weeks out of every month stuck in a hospital bed needing iron and blood transfusions. Too disabled to work. Fainting almost daily. In constant pain.

No matter how sick I got, the hypothetical future husband and baby came before my health. What these imaginary beings might want was more important than what I needed.

When I finally had the surgery, I had a severe post operative complication. The surgeon didn’t believe me. She sent me home.

I had to go to the ER four times before they found the life threatening internal bleed. Each time dismissing me as “attention seeking” or accusing me of not understanding some pain was to be expected.

My then boyfriend saved my life. He got loud and refused to take me home, saying he was convinced I would die.

It turns out, he was right. I had a giant bleed in my belly and an infected abscess that had been growing for weeks while they gaslit and ignored me.

It was a hell of a crash course in medical misogyny, as well as the need to always have an advocate in healthcare settings:

https://medium.com/@thedisabledginger/what-my-hysterectomy-taught-me-about-medical-misogyny-and-advocacy-e7d6e7294af8

#misogyny #disability #chronicillness #patriarchy #womenshealth #disability #obgyn #hysterectomy #childfree #medicalmisogyny #disabilityjustice

Medical errors kill, maim and traumatize. As a disability advocate, I hear stories of medical negligence almost every day. I’ve got more than a handful of my own stories.

Few are as egregious a this one.

A young woman seeks help for abdominal pain. At first she’s dismissed as having PCOS.

They later find a 25cm (!!!) cyst on her ovary and proceed to do a total hysterectomy and resect part of her bowel and appendix.

She barely survives, and when she regains consciousness in the ICU is told she’s lost her womb and has stage four cancer.

That alone would be difficult to deal with, but then she’s later told she doesn’t have cancer and the hysterectomy and surgical menopause were unnecessary.

She tries to focus on the positive (not dying of cancer), only to have the medical team change course again and confirm that she actually DOES have stage four cancer but in her appendix and lymph nodes and not her uterus or ovary. Pp

The gauntlet of emotions this woman must be dealing with is heartbreaking.

How a medical team can get something this wrong this many times on ONE patient I will never understand.

As always, try and have an advocate with you at all times. I’m unsure if it would have helped in this scenario, but we all need a second set of eyes and ears in the room.

Ask questions. Get a second opinion. Don’t be afraid to speak up if you feel you’re being mistreated. Reach out online for support from other patients and caregivers… we will help you.

https://people.com/woman-32-has-hysterectomy-doctors-apologize-no-cancer-11714951

#medicalerrors #iatrogenic #disability #trauma #hysterectomy #cancer #womenshealth #obgyn #chronicillness

Me at ER for cardiac issues

Dr: “Could you be pregnant?”

Me: “No I had a hysterectomy”

Dr: “You look too young for that? Are you sure?”

Me: “I’m confident”

Dr: “I think you might be confused. Maybe it was your appendix.”

Proceeds to order pregnancy test

I’ve had this interaction more times than I can count

Healthcare workers think I’m “too young” to have had a hysterectomy and automatically assume I’m confusing my womb with another organ.

They ask endless questions, only to end up doing a pregnancy test anyways

Perhaps there are patients who confuse their uterus for their appendix, but I would imagine that’s exceedingly rare

The battle I went through to get my hysterectomy was long and arduous. It involved many physicians lecturing me about how I would never be able to have children

Asking insensitive questions like:

“Don’t you want to be a Mom?”

“You might want biological children, many women do”

“What happens if you meet your dream man and he leaves you for being barren?”

You don’t have to endure this type of insulting and misogynistic third degree to get your appendix or gallbladder removed.

They inform you of the surgical risks, you consent, the end.

There’s simply no plausible way to confuse the removal of a WOMB with an appendix

Despite these obvious facts, I’ve had countless doctors assume I’m wrong. That I couldn’t possibly have lost my uterus and it must have been something less important.

I’ve even had “patient CLAIMS hysterectomy”’written in my chart.

Why someone would lie about something so easy to prove or disprove is beyond me.

The end result is always a delay in care while we argue and then wait for an unnecessary pregnancy test which always comes back negative.

Surely we can do better?

I understand that doctors must have a degree of skepticism, and that the price of missing a pregnancy can be incredibly high.

I’m not opposed to them running a pregnancy test if that’s what they feel they need to do.

I am opposed to the delays and gaslighting

It was traumatic to lose my uterus at a young age. The healthcare workers who inundated me with misogynistic questions & put a hypothetical man before me and my health? They didn’t make it any easier.

I feel that trauma all over again whenever I’m questioned about pregnancy

I wish we could endeavour to either TRUST our patient, or just run the pregnancy test without all the unnecessary and (often) rude comments.

I don’t object to the test, I object to the way I’m treated leading up to the test.

Patients know their body best. We know the difference between a womb and an appendix. We know when we’re being talked down to and mistreated.

It causes trauma. Makes us less likely to trust the provider and far less likely to seek care in the future

Please treat your patients with the dignity they deserve. Don’t judge them on how they look, the chronic illness or disability they have or their gender or sexual orientation. Listen to them. Work with them. Let them be a partner in their care.

We can do better together /end
After the hysterectomy I also had a post op complication that was ignored by the ER three times. I had a life threatening internal bleed, but was sent home without tests because they thought I was “exaggerating”.

We MUST listen to patients. I only survived because my accidental advocate stepped up

https://www.disabledginger.com/p/my-most-dangerous-er-experience-and

#misogyny #medicalmisogyny #womenshealth #obgyn #ableism #disability #endometriosis #hysterectomy #discrimination #mybodymychoice