I quit. Not doing this torture drug anymore. I'm walking away from cancer treatment.
It's all about saving the life at any cost. Quality of life is not in the equation. They downplay the side effects.
My body is permanently damaged by this drug, but, yay, they've given me more quality time with my pain.
Fuck cancer. Fuck cancer treatment.
I've been chemically castrated. Same class of drugs doctors tried to push on me when my parents wanted to cure my homosexuality back in 1980. Same drugs used to punish sex offenders.
The bastards finally got me.
Had I truly understood what would happen to me, I would have accepted cancer as my ticket out of this fucked up world. Now I get to linger in pain as a burden for everyone around me.
I wanted to die on the highway or the backcountry doing what I loved. On my own terms! Instead, I'll probably get a fetid nursing home, crippled and helpless.
Had I made a better decision two years ago, I would be gone by now and at peace.
#cancer #rant