Kevin BellJun 13, 2023
Ken White
#DIDYOUKNOW If a publication runs a big headline reporting someone entered a not guilty plea at their first court appearance, as if that’s news, you are legally permitted to punch the managing editor in the crotch three (3) times
Jun 13, 2023 at 9:47pmWeb
Show threadKimberleyJun 13, 2023
@Popehat Ah-ha! I knew it!
😂
Show threadKnepherbirdJun 13, 2023
@Popehat Gonna print this out to show the police when they try to arrest me for assault.
Show threadSouthern Mark SmithJun 13, 2023
@Popehat current or former? Asking for a friend.
Show thread@IanAMartin HAS MOVED!Jun 13, 2023
@Popehat Three seems a bit of a low quantity. If the person being charged counts as a ‘famous person,’ I think the Chicago Style Manual calls for a minimum of ten (10) crotchial strikes. Strunk & White is mum on the topic, however.
Show threadAlan Miller  🇺🇦Jun 13, 2023
@IanAMartin @Popehat it's limited to three to keep the line moving quickly.
Show threadAngry CentristJun 13, 2023
@Popehat Do you have the option of combining 3 punches into one kick w/ steel-toed boots? Or perhaps spreading the 3 punches out to 3 different days to allow the managing editor to feel it longer?
Show threadCoyotyJun 13, 2023
@dkbgeek @Popehat No substitutes!
Show threadSteven LiptonJun 13, 2023
@Popehat Is it legal if you anticipate the headline?
Show threadDelicious TerrineJun 13, 2023
@Popehat Really? I would've thought Trump would've pleaded guilty! Either way it puts Biden in a tight spot!
Show threadThe Evil MicrowizardJun 14, 2023
@Langoustine @Popehat Huh?
Show threadWes KyleJun 13, 2023
@Popehat Why is it the convention in legal writing to include both the textual and numerical representations of numbers?
Show threadBruce ElrickJun 13, 2023
@wrkyle @Popehat
So when they contradict you can kick them five (6) times in the crotch.
Show threadGeorge MitchellJun 14, 2023
@wrkyle @Popehat Same reason as checks; redundancy and confirmation.
Show threadplinthJun 14, 2023
@gemitch @wrkyle @Popehat so someone doesn't come in later and change the 3 to an 8 and add some zeros
Show threadWes KyleJun 15, 2023
@plinth It seems the text would be sufficient to prevent that.
Show threadplinthJun 15, 2023
@wrkyle In some cases.
In others?
The number of allowed nut shots: three
The number of allowed nut shots: three hundred
🤔​
Show threadGeorge MitchellJun 15, 2023
@plinth @wrkyle @Popehat This is what I was circling around but couldn’t find the words for.
Show threadMarcJun 13, 2023
@Popehat not guilty to ALL the charges. I thought he’d plead guilty to at least one because he’s completely incapable of listening to his lawyer’s advice.
Show threadI TRIED TO TELL YOUJun 13, 2023

@Popehat What about kicks?

-allowed, presumably

Show threadWaterluvianJun 13, 2023
@Popehat This is why every time I’m being arraigned, I say “Guilty, your honour… of not being guilty!”
Show threadwpieperJun 13, 2023
@Popehat if I hypothetically strike them four (4) times, i should probably contact an attorney, yes?
Show threadDry as toastJun 13, 2023
@Popehat Need a chunky ring?
Show threadBruce ElrickJun 13, 2023

@Popehat

It's news when someone pleads guilty, not the other way around!

Show threadThat Anonymous CowardJun 13, 2023

@Popehat

With my disability making a fist is not an option, is there an ADA accommodation that allows me to use an aluminum bat?

Show threadSean McCabeJun 13, 2023
@Popehat
There's a small minority of Americans who have ever been indicted for violating state law.
There's also a small minority of Americans who have ever been indicted for violating a federal law.
There's an even smaller minority of Americans who have been indicted for violating federal law while under indictment for violating state law.
Show threadJohn Quentin HeywoodJun 13, 2023
@Popehat it's only fair
Show threadRob needs sci-fi 🚀🛸Jun 13, 2023
@Popehat
Show threadJRJun 13, 2023
@Popehat You are innocent until convicted, but then you are guilty forever.
Show threadThe Reluctant Diesel MechanicJun 13, 2023

@Popehat

Each? I better get in line!

Show threadRadixJun 13, 2023
@Popehat #NotLegalAdvice
Show threadbensonkJun 13, 2023
@Popehat Best legal advice I've been given all day.
Show threadJennyJun 13, 2023
@Popehat I heard that he “strongly” pled not guilty, and per the Constitution, if you do it strongly enough, they have to dismiss the charges.
Show threadT. J. BombadilJun 13, 2023
@tiamat271 @Popehat It's like a triple-dog dare.
Show threadJennyJun 14, 2023
@c_dan4th @Popehat That’s how you know it’s serious!
Show threadDaniel (Not A Lawyer)Jun 14, 2023
@c_dan4th @tiamat271 @Popehat Or Double Secret Probation.
Show threadMidwest BobJun 13, 2023
@tiamat271 @Popehat 🤣😂😱
Show threadChookMother 🇦🇺🦘Jun 13, 2023
@tiamat271 @Popehat 😆😆
Show threadProjectAzar  Jun 13, 2023
@Popehat My favorite part of this is that its exactly 1 post above CNN's exact headline saying as much in my feed.
Show threadJade Jun 13, 2023
@Popehat There ought to be a queue for aforementioned crotch punching.
Show threadlibraryogreJun 13, 2023
@Popehat While he's not there yet, I've been spending the afternoon imagining the hell that would be "Being Donald Trump's court appointed attorney."
Show threadTodd KnarrJun 13, 2023
@libraryogre @Popehat What happens if the public defender's office refuses to take him because he claims enough assets to be able to afford an attorney? The Miranda verbiage is just a summary, but it says "cannot afford" not "are unwilling to pay for".
Show threadFeralRobotsJun 20, 2023
@tknarr
I've read of cases where people were appointed representation even though they could clearly afford it. People such as SovCits will occasionally try to work it as an angle, thinking that if they just refuse to be represented or to represent themselves, they have to be let go. (SovCit is all about magical rules-lawyering, don't expect this to make sense.)
@libraryogre @Popehat
Show threadTodd KnarrJun 20, 2023
@FeralRobots @libraryogre @Popehat Yeah, the #SovCit gang refuse to acknowledge that the rest of the system is allowed to respond to their choices.
Show threadMidwest BobJun 13, 2023
@Popehat 🤣
Show threadJohn CuttingJun 13, 2023
@Popehat legally? I'll take your word for it.
Show threadmcmjolnirJun 13, 2023
@Popehat we call that the ding-dong ding-ding-ding
Show threadDrew KadelJun 13, 2023
@Popehat No I didn't know that Ken. But I'll keep your fine legal advice in mind the next time I meet the managing editor of such a publication. (My spouse was only an ASSISTANT managing editor)
Show threadSpaceLifeFormJun 13, 2023

@Popehat

Is that only Misdemeanor level?

Is 4 punches Felony level?

Show threadBahadır ErdemJun 13, 2023
@Popehat why stop at 3
Show threadCorwin Jun 14, 2023
@variden3301 @Popehat
So the others waiting in line behind you don't have to wait too long.
(watch Airplane again)
Show threadTrojan DuckJun 13, 2023
@Popehat Only three?
Show threadVissJun 13, 2023
@Popehat im gonna need one of those elbow joint braces for this.
Show threadFemme MalheureuseJun 14, 2023

@Viss @Popehat Polishing my brass knuckles.

Wish I had inherited my great-great-aunt's brass bracelets she used as a rum runner for the Purple Gang in Detroit. I could use those right about now.

Show threadNosirrahSec 🏴‍☠️ guillotine enthusiastJun 13, 2023

@Popehat what makes me boil is knowing that if I disclosed ONE of those documents I'd be in Leavenworth in a hole waiting for a trial that would never come.

This bloated buffoon gets to go chill out at country clubs.

Show threadSteve TorrenteJun 13, 2023
@Popehat To be fair though, outside the court he was pleading "witch hunt."
Show threadRoger MooreJun 14, 2023
@Popehat
What if they plead not gilcup?
Show threadGojira1000Jun 14, 2023
@Popehat SWEET. My schedule is gonna be packed.
Show threadMinisterofimpedimentsJun 14, 2023
@Popehat At the rate news agencies are jettisoning staff…where exactly would some pseudo ai bots crotch be?
Show threadAdrian LopezJun 14, 2023
@Popehat That's one way to end up with a sore fist.