I've said for years that therapy is not just useless but often counterproductive for us #neurodivergent folk. This video is a nice example of that. It *seems* like good advice for the typical person: self-acceptance, self-confidence, growing past your childhood, handling trauma, the usual stuff. But, like every other psychology video I've seen that wasn't specifically focused on neurodivergence, it only speaks to neurotypicals. And the advice the therapist gives is not helpful for people like me.

I'm #AuDHD, so your mileage may vary, but for me, this advice is crap. My challenge isn't self-acceptance or overcoming some irrational fear of rejection. It's the #DoubleEmpathyProblem, and how neurotypicals judge me superficially based on neurological differences that prevent me from doing non-verbal affect their way so we can connect emotionally. It's the #SocialModelOfDisability that lets people declare me the one with the problem because I'm in the minority, so they expect me to always be the one to adapt to their communication style. It's that I don't get to process my childhood trauma of rejection, neglect, and abuse, because I continue to experience that even now in my 60s, and you can't process and heal trauma until you aren't in the traumatizing situation anymore.

If I took this therapist's advice to heart, I would just make things worse for myself. I know, because I have walked that road before, and all that happened was I got lost and hurt. An old therapist of mine told me I just need to be more confident and put myself out there, and people will respond. I actually laughed at her. Then I went out and found an autistic therapist so I didn't have to hear that crap anymore.

This is a big part of why it's hard to be neurodivergent in our society: we are excluded by default. We aren't even an afterthought - we're a neverthought. Nobody thinks of us unless we become a problem they have to deal with. So when we ask to be included, they see us as a problem and usually get defensive and then go on to justify why they forgot about us. How hard would it be for this Mended Light therapist to include a sentence or two saying this advice wasn't for ND folk and we should not try to follow it? How hard would it be for him to include some useful advice for us, which might also help NT folk watching the video to understand us better?

My dear neurokin, be careful consuming advice from people that don't understand us and that isn't meant for us. We're not the same as them, and we don't succeed by acting like we are. And to people making psychology videos, could you maybe remember we exist and include us even when you're not speaking specifically to us?

[Mended Light: How to Get Over the Pain of Rejection and Be Authentically YOU!]
https://youtu.be/3GpY1NefXuQ

#ActuallyAutistic #autistic #ADHD

I wrote this about the #SocialModelOfDisability several years ago and, having just re-read it, it's not half bad

https://globalcomment.com/mike-oliver-social-model-disability/

My mate @cheapjack (tho' he's not on here much) is organising a maker day on Sat at the Neuro Muscular Centre

https://www.nmcentre.com/

NMC Maker Day
Saturday 25th January 2025
11-3pm
Woodford Lane West Winsford Cheshire CW7 4EH

Join us for a day exploring digital making and share our plans for the new NMC Makerspace!
#3D #3dprinting #laserengraving #vinylcutting #lasercutting #makers #makerspace #making #digital #socialmodelofdisability #disability #prototyping and more

#Cheshire #Winsford

This short educational film looks like it dates from the 1970s, yet I don't think the #SocialModelOfDisability has fully percolated into the mainstream consciousness.

86 seconds that is likely to transform the way you think about disability, if you're able-bodied.

https://invidious.fdn.fr/watch?v=9s3NZaLhcc4

Some days are glorious, but other days I feel like I'm being punished for existing.

#disability #socialmodelofdisability #actuallyautistic #art

I was just having a discussion with @lauravivanco about aphantasia and SDAM: https://mastodon.scot/@lauravivanco/110729611947017752

I am aphantasic and have a very different kind of autobiographical memory from that of other people I’ve spoken to

But then this occurred to me:

Why should I accept Brian Levine’s 2015 (yes, 2015!) coining of the term ‘*severely deficient* autobiographical memory’ for this aspect of my neurotype?

Being Autistic, I’m pathologised by the medical model as having a ‘autism spectrum *disorder*’

And being an ADHDer, I apparently have an ‘attention *deficit* hyperactivity *disorder* (yeah, get two Ds in there, why not!)

Yet many Autistic and ADHD activists who subscribe to the social model of disability and the neurodiversity paradigm are making inroads into persuading at least some academics and clinicians to treat us as disabled, not disordered, not deficient – just a different kind of human, not humans that have gone wrong

My aphantasia/SDAM (I have a strong hunch they go together) may have strengths and weaknesses in comparison with the imaginative capacity attributed to the mythical ‘normal’ person

But because it’s out of the ordinary, it has to be called *severely deficient* by the gleeful (probably) neurotypical researcher, doesn’t it!

In 2015!

Still!

#aphantasia #SDAM #SeverelyDeficientAutobiographicalMemory #neurodiversity #SocialModelOfDisability #ActuallyAutistic #ActuallyADHD #NothingAboutUsWithoutUs

So much of my work as an #ActuallyAutistic educator for young adults is undoing the damage done to them by ABA therapy and school systems. I know dogs that were educated with more humanity than some of my students.

They're taught to be ashamed of their autistic traits, and that's pretty much it. Most of them *can't define autism,* even in their own words.

PLEASE do not ever expose autistic people to ABA. Any perceived benefit can be attained with different approaches, like play therapy. Teach them about autism, using the #SocialModelOfDisability.

They're fully human beings, don't ever treat them with any less dignity.

Last week, youngest client who always rags on my comfortable shoes said to me:

“I *think* you are a gentleman, but I’ve never seen you wear a suit.”

So I wore a suit for the lesson this evening.

Not one to mince words, she said I looked”good”.

In case you can’t see, on the whiteboard are the words “Gentleman” and “Cad”.

The student is thankfully pointing at “Gentleman” 😮‍💨

#Tutoring #DWTutoring #FashionStatement #SocialModelOfDisability #UniversalDesignForLearning #InclusiveEducation