@londubh This one's somewhat more generic, but also provides some useful advice:

"How to Comfort Someone Who Has Just Lost Everything"
https://thesurvivalmom.com/dos-donts-for-comforting-someone-who-has-just-lost-everything/

One issue is that we as a culture seem to both lack much by way of instruction in how to address grief and loss (in both others and ourselves), and had a whole slew of bad advice, much of it probably well-intentioned, often religiously-tinged (e.g., "it's God's will" or "... plan").

I find that comfort, solidarity, hearing the person out, and offering specific future-oriented assistance (as opposed to vague, past (esp. re-litigating past events), and generalities) to be most useful.

The neighbourhood organising to ensure that ready-to-heat or ready-to-eat meals appear at the back door is a powerful memory. Also helping out with specific tasks or administrivia.

I so wish that more people I'm close to, and more organisations putatively existing to help, were more aware and/or acted in far greater accord with these principles.

#Helping #Community #HowToHelp #WhatToSay #WhatNotToSay