I will save the deconstruction of the western relationship norms as a product of the insecure patriarchy and a tool of oppression for another essay. Suffice it to say western relationship norms are binding, usually heavy with expectations and rules, limiting, and at their base line: unhealthy. A lot of the default rules and restrictions come from the mononormative patriarchal back drop in which we exist, and are in place so the ones in power don't have to do any self work or growth to "keep" their spouse. (The use of mononormative ownership language is an intentional jab)

But we don't have to be bound by those rules. We have braved ego death, we are free intentional beings, we can co-create our connections with partners however we want. We are brilliant motes of star fire encountering each other in a space of possibility.

Agency, growth, respect. These are the foundations of an adult relationship, a true connection. These are only possible if the other person is in a healthy relationship with all the parts of themself first. If the other person is not in touch with their will or higher self they can't form boundaries or ask for needs bc they don't know what they want out of life.

I don't think it is healthy to be in a relationship with a person who is not self-assured, an unintentional being, someone who has not experienced ego death, doesn't live intentionally, or at the minimum isn't self-aware.

Living intentionally is hard work, it takes energy to focus on the Now, to resist the automatic behaviors and limiting thoughts that are socialized or habituated into us.

An intentional person in relationships doesn't worry about the other person leaving or loving someone else. An intentional person is greatful and present for all moments no matter how wonderful or awful; All moments have something to teach us.

#IntentionalLife #Relationships #Agency #EgoDeath

Every moment is a sacred gift, if we are living in the past or worrying about the future we will miss who and what is right in front of us, the Here and Now. When you are fully in the moment you are fully alive. Otherwise you are frozen in a past that is immutable, or burning in the chaos of a future of unlimited possibility. All you can actually DO is right here and now, and you can not act intentionally unless you are actually present in this moment, otherwise your actions are mostly automatic behaviors learned or socialized into you.

Trust that you are informed by the past, know you are guided and protected, and know that what you need will come to you.

#HereAndNow #Zen #IntentionalLife