I did go through some processing with regard to how I look at women, what is sexual attraction, what is aesthetic attraction, and is there a component of wanting to be them. No, not really. I don't get gender envy. I do, however, get "freedom envy." It's not related to gender but the perceived feeling of being free.

As for what is sexual vs. aesthetic attraction, I think I still have them somewhat confused. I think it's more about aesthetics than I thought. I like looking at pretty faces. Getting a firmer grasp of my demisexual brand of being ace has helped in this.

One revelation with my sexuality was to notice there being a huge gap in how I feel when looking at porn before and after cuming. It feels wild, almost a disconnect. I think I'm way more vanilla than I thought. And I'd rather watch than participate in the scenes.

#NonBinary #asexual #DemiSexual

At 43, going on 44, I’m trying to put some order to the chaos. 14 years of marriage is my foundation with my husband, but I’ve realized I’m poly and demisexual. I’m not looking for "casual"—I’m looking for someone to love and be a part of my life as an equal.

The reality? Demisexuality means my "spark" is a slow-burn. In 18 months, only 1 or 2 guys have actually triggered those deep feelings. It’s a high bar to clear.

The exhausting part is when that rare connection finally happens, only to find they aren't okay with polyamory. It’s annoying and, honestly, just sad to invest that much only to hit a wall.

I know exactly who I am and how I love. Finding that same alignment in someone else is just the challenge right now. That’s where I’m at. 🏳️‍🌈✨

Now, it's finding the right one to join in this next adventure with us.

#Polyamory #Demisexual #GayPoly #gay #bear #gaybear #lgbt #queer #ottawa

Here is Ottavìo in his merman form

#nsfw #gayart #gayporn #gay #men #nsfwart #merman #bi #demisexual

After the death of his family when he was 8, Ottavío spend some years in the street.
Today he is the member of an association for homeless kids.
By the way thats where he met his best friend Spellika

#nsfw #gayart #gayporn #gay #men #nsfwart #bi #demisexual #merman

It seems that there's a whole category of women (when it comes to online dating), who feel that the way to establish a love relationship is by proving to a man that they have breasts. Not necessarily NSFW, but they do tend to send photos which basically focus on that part of the body. And then they seem to expect a man to be utterly captivated and ecstatic.

Maybe that works for neurotypical men? I know some men that it would certainly affect strongly. But as a demisexual and sapiosexual male, that approach has always bewildered me.

I mean, I pretty much •assumed• you had breasts! I know not every woman does, but the vast majority do. And there's nothing wrong with that; I like them as much as any straight man. But shouldn't it matter who the breasts are ATTACHED to? What kind of person they are? What kind of connection there is between a man and a woman on an emotional and intellectual basis?

I honestly don't understand the idea of a relationship based purely on physical compatibility and nothing more. Okay, maybe I'm being a little too harsh. I know personality matters for everyone, not just demis. But...it's SO confusing! It's like living in a world where maybe 50 to 75% of potential mates are actually incredibly alien from a mental and emotional point of view. And they don't seem to be able to understand demisexuals, demisexual males in particular. I guess we pretty much violate the cliches of what a male is and wants.

Hope that wasn't too inappropriate.

#demisexual #sapiosexual #dating #OnlineDating