I don’t think I’m funny enough to maintain this many social media accounts, but that’s not gonna stop me

my online bf and I saw you from across the terminal and we really dig your vibe coding

i wouldn’t say my third eye is blind but my prescription is pretty strong

you have a seat on the council but we do not grant you the rank of shitposter

Thanks for having more problems than me. I feel better already.

I love it when people who have never had kids try to say how perfect they would be as a parent, like bitch you’d give your kid an iPad for five minutes of quiet, trust me.

apostrophizing “is”: efficient or lazy

my kid’s in the “nah” stage. the writing’s on the wall, and the wall said im cringe.