Comrade Weez
Cat 🐈🥗 (D.Burch) 
Tell me some thing blasphemous and/or sacrilegious 
Toby
FurryBeta
Fritz Adalis
Passoca Witch 
@catsalad cats can't eat chocolate
merely rhys@catsalad When I was a kid I was at a church wedding and needed to pee but couldn't find the toilet, so I went outside and found a quiet spot.
I literally peed on a church.
webhat
Dr. Alissa, Turbo-Nerd
The Mighty Git@catsalad I like being agnostic because it annoys everyone, even other agnostics.
C++ Wage SlaveOoh yeah. And being agnostic really annoys atheists, who try to convince me that I'm an atheist.
sanpan
Humperdoo
"Humperdoo" is the name given to the messiah and 17th progeny of Jesus Christ. Prior to Christ's crucifixion, he fathered a child whose subsequent descendants have been protected throughout the centuries by the Grail. Eventually, this descendant was born (the 25th great grandchild) and suffers mental and physical complications from roughly 2000 years of inbreeding. His actual name is not known, but he refers to himself using the nonsense word "Humperdoo". Humperdoo is hidden in a...
Softwarewolf@catsalad https://www.ewtnnews.com/world/us/after-demonic-desecration-louisiana-church-reconsecrated-as-details-about-priest-emerge
After ‘demonic’ desecration, Louisiana church reconsecrated as details about priest emerge
Archbishop Gregory Aymond on Saturday consecrated a new altar at the Louisiana parish where a priest reportedly filmed a pornographic video atop the parish altar with two women last month. Details have emerged about the priest, who is expected to face criminal and canonical charges after the episode.
AutistiCritic@catsalad You can like both Star Trek and Star Wars. 🤫
urien2@benjamincox @catsalad I never understood that rivalry completely. I feel they are so different. I would equate Dune and Star Wars, more than Star Trek
IƧΛΛC aka isaac@catsalad if you say "eggman" five times in front of a mirror, the Jesus appears
I love this, so I
Ollie 🇪🇺🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🇵🇸🇺🇦@catsalad Emacs is the One True Editor™
Luna Lactea@distinctdipole @catsalad No! It's ed, the standard editor!
Jesus Michał "Le Sigh" 🏔 (he)@catsalad, cats are snakes with legs.
June [⚦257-⚧213-⚩099]@catsalad metallica and lotr are overrated. not bad, just overrated 😂
Full Metal Archaeopteryx
Arthfach 🐻@catsalad Orange cats have at least TWO brain cells, EACH. 😈
Heathen 🐈
AccordionBruce@catsalad
Pirates never played accordions
🏴☠️🚫🪗
(Because they hadn’t been invented yet)
Accordions were invented during the 1800s Industrial Revolution at the same time as the telegraph, steam engine and the typewriter
100 years after the Golden Age of Piracy 1600s–1700s
So every pirate movie with an accordionist is a science fiction movie with a time-travel sub plot 🚀⌛️
Paul_IPv6yeah... i go through this at every ren faire, pirate movie, etc. showing a guitar. what we'd recognize as a guitar was a 19th century evolution of earlier instruments... i wasn't a wizard in history but do know that the renaissance was pre-1800s...
@paul_ipv6 @catsalad
Ren fairs they could be busting out the portative organ!
https://youtu.be/Uk4iVold0eU
Ren fairs they could be busting out the portative organ!
https://youtu.be/Uk4iVold0eU
Catalina Vicens - Medieval Portative Organ / Rondeau - C. Cooman, 2014
Process "Tedious" Parsnip🤯
Despite your username, I had to look this up and it's true. Absolutely wild.
there truly are experts in every single thing on Mastodon (not sarcastic).
dr 🛠️🛰️📡🎧
@AccordionBruce @catsalad I thought the things pirates don't play were concertinas.
JWarner@davidr @AccordionBruce @catsalad Concertinas are still 1835 ish. Now, I haven't found anything on the variations of the nearly 4,000-year-old Chinese version. https://concertinamusic.com/timeline/
Cadbury Moose@Jeanniewarner @davidr @AccordionBruce @catsalad
Yes, the concertina was the invention of Sir Charles Wheatstone, patented 1829, public launch 1835, so Tom the cabin boy couldn't have used one to play the Trumpet Hornpipe for Captain Pugwash[1] on The Black Pig. 3:O(> There were lots of competing designs, so as with computers: "Any student of the concertina has to choose between ten incompatible operating systems."[2] 3:O))>
[1] Pugwash is coeval with this moose!
[2] https://www.kcl.ac.uk/the-concertina-celebrating-sir-charles-wheatstones-invention-at-kings
@Cadbury_Moose @davidr @AccordionBruce @catsalad Thought you might enjoy reading about the Chinese one from an earlier millennium. :-)
Taran Rampersad@AccordionBruce @catsalad dude..
That's off the charts cool trivia.
ranjit
artful modder@AccordionBruce oh please it's a well known fact that the golden age of piracy was the late 1900s
Leeloo
Ignazio Palmisano@leeloo @AccordionBruce @catsalad hegseth or trump with an accordion would work as well, but I have no desire to see their faces other than behind bars
Adam Wysokiński@AccordionBruce @catsalad I've got a theory here: accordions, like opsin genes, were invented at least twice, separately. When the golden age of piracy was gone, the memories of accordions were repressed since strongly associated with socially unaccepted piracy-related aggression and violence. Hence, no trace in later history. However, they re-appear in movies as a great example of an archetype in Jungian shared unconsciousness. Anyone recall other social groups playing accordions? I'd like to develop my theory further.
@adam_wysokinski @catsalad
The Jungian telegraph needs to be included at least
Developed by the same guy as the English concertina, Charles Wheatstone
He also measured the speed of light, did that circuit thing, and invented 3-D glasses 😵💫
MidgePhoto(Which IIRC is the title of a #JohnWyndham #SciFi short story in The Seeds of Time which defined the term.)
Owlor 
@AccordionBruce @catsalad It fucks me up knowing that the bodhrán was invented in the 19th century, cus it feels like something that must have been around forever.
Granted it does depend on who you ask, there are people who insist it's ancient, but I think it's a question of how rigorously you define it. Like frame drums are probably older than dirt, but we're talking about a specific type of frame drum.
Theosoreass@AccordionBruce @catsalad they can still have the hurdy gurdy😬😬😬
Sin Vega
Matthew Skelton@Theosoreass @AccordionBruce @catsalad noone would believe that the hurdy gurdy was a real instrument 🤣
@matthewskelton @Theosoreass @catsalad
They gave Spencer Tracy a Hurdy Gurdy in Captains Courageous
Which is funny, because Kipling features an #accordion in the book, set contemporaneous to its 1897 publication
We can guess the era because the rich kid’s dad is a railway magnate and steams over to pick him up
https://youtu.be/sXDasPDVJWM
Captains Courageous (1937)
BoredomFestival@AccordionBruce @catsalad next thing you know you'll be telling me Nero didn't actually fiddle while Rome burned
jamie@BoredomFestival @AccordionBruce @catsalad Nero might or might not have fiddled, but could have played the pipe organ…
Quinn Norton@AccordionBruce @catsalad in my heart there is a well-armed Somali pirate who dreams of duets with Weird Al, playing his accordion walking along the coast at sunset.
@AccordionBruce @catsalad Neal Stephenson made a similar mistake in the Baroque Cycle: a character is killed by being stabbed with the endpin of a cello. Aside from the fact that this wouldn't be very effective structurally (the endpin is not robustly attached), the endpin didn't *exist* before the mid1800s (prior to that, the cello was held tightly between the legs, as the viola da gamba is today). A musician friend of mine wrote to Stephenson about this, (politely) pointing out the error. He told me that he received a reply, which read: "AAAARGH!"
@BoredomFestival @catsalad
There was lively chatter on message boards when the young adult novel series about Mary “Jacky” Faber featured her playing a little Accordion
They start in 1801 which puts them before the 1829 development of the first accordions
It wasn’t featured much after that until the very last book (published 14 years later, two years after the author died) when she played it again, almost as if he was tossing one to all of the people who complained 🪗 😂
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bloody_Jack_(novel)
Flipper 🐬🏳️🌈@AccordionBruce
This makes me love pirate movies even more.
Alan Bellingham@AccordionBruce @catsalad On the other hand, a Samurai could have seen a fax image of one