Tell me some thing blasphemous and/or sacrilegious 

@catsalad
Pirates never played accordions
🏴‍☠️🚫🪗

(Because they hadn’t been invented yet)

Accordions were invented during the 1800s Industrial Revolution at the same time as the telegraph, steam engine and the typewriter

100 years after the Golden Age of Piracy 1600s–1700s

So every pirate movie with an accordionist is a science fiction movie with a time-travel sub plot 🚀⌛️

@AccordionBruce @catsalad Neal Stephenson made a similar mistake in the Baroque Cycle: a character is killed by being stabbed with the endpin of a cello. Aside from the fact that this wouldn't be very effective structurally (the endpin is not robustly attached), the endpin didn't *exist* before the mid1800s (prior to that, the cello was held tightly between the legs, as the viola da gamba is today). A musician friend of mine wrote to Stephenson about this, (politely) pointing out the error. He told me that he received a reply, which read: "AAAARGH!"

@BoredomFestival @catsalad
There was lively chatter on message boards when the young adult novel series about Mary “Jacky” Faber featured her playing a little Accordion

They start in 1801 which puts them before the 1829 development of the first accordions

It wasn’t featured much after that until the very last book (published 14 years later, two years after the author died) when she played it again, almost as if he was tossing one to all of the people who complained 🪗 😂
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bloody_Jack_(novel)

Bloody Jack (novel) - Wikipedia