Mastodawn

This poll brought to you by me thinking about cows and how forest cows are good cows. And how if I could, I'd happily be as robust as a cow, because wow did I sleep badly last night compounded by all of my The Health. 😭

Michelle / The Giddy Stitcher Mar 13

@sinituulia Nah. What I'd gain in strength I'd lose in having to buy / make all new clothes.

@thegiddystitcher Yeah, I did think about this as well. So much to remake! So much!
Would love to be healthier, but yeah.

Alex von Kitchen Mar 13

@sinituulia like just more belly, or do I get taller and bigger boobs?

@Dangerous_beans Tall, muscular, more bosomful... Built like a brick shithouse is the usual wording I think

Alex von Kitchen Mar 13

@sinituulia hell yeah! 🐮

Devlin

Mar 13

@sinituulia I wanna go full minotaur!

@devlin Perfectly respectable, sage nodding from me.

What coat colour of minotaur would you like to be?

Devlin

Mar 13

@sinituulia like dark brown, looking almost black

@devlin Very good

I'm sure I'd be torn between dark brown/black, a good reddish red brown, and one of those beige almost white cows with the pink noses and soft blue eyes

Vile Lasagna Mar 14

@sinituulia @devlin and pass up the opportunity of a mottled coat?!?

Sini Tuulia Mar 14

@VileLasagna @devlin There are very many good cow colours out there, huh

Cybarbie Mar 13

@sinituulia do we become as dumb as an ox because then yes where do I sign??

Fritz Adalis Mar 13

@sinituulia @catsalad
It's a common misconception, but oxen haven't actually ratified their constitution yet.

@FritzAdalis I let out an affronted snort of laughter

WearyBonnie Mar 13

@sinituulia
Omg yes. Strong please 🥹

Shad Mar 13

@sinituulia i would love to make a big effect on people i want to impress

@shad 😆

Depends, does the wish include me maintaining my new body shape no matter how much or how little I eat?

Cause I feel otherwise I would be losing that new strength quite fast again x3

@Alek_Unleashed Well, you'd have to eat 'enough' to not wither but you'd not lose your large frame and all the musculature required to keep it in motion, at least? That's not insignificant, a dinky little cow can still fuck shit up!

Emmi_Konster Mar 13

@sinituulia Hi! I like your polls.

@Emmi_Konster Thank you, I'm glad! I enjoy making a silly little poll, they're fun and it's nice when people participate together

Emmi_Konster Mar 13

@sinituulia You’re welcome!

⁂ Fish Id Wardrobe Mar 13

@sinituulia sounds great!

Sindarina, Edge Case Detective Mar 13

@sinituulia So, basically a tauren? I'd be tempted, but I feel like there are consequences to this choice I may not fully oversee right now 😂

Adriano Mar 13

@sindarina @sinituulia The first problem would be fitting in common homes. The Gandalf Hobbiton problem.

@sindarina You wouldn't be alone in any case, based on these results!

Sindarina, Edge Case Detective Mar 13

@sinituulia Well, that depends, really; about two-thirds of 183 people might very well mean that you never run into another, even if they were all within the same country.

It's kind of like being trans; there's a lot of us, but much more dispersed than being on fedi might suggest 😂

@sindarina A city of just Fediverse people would probably look a little different than most cities...

Sindarina, Edge Case Detective Mar 13

@sinituulia I remember a story about a future in which Berlin is a completely queer city state of sorts, which would be interesting.

@sindarina *Babylon Berlin Ein Tag Wie Gold starts playing in my head*

Codey McCodeface Mar 13

@sinituulia @catsalad Wait, would I have the four stomachs thing and have to hork up cud to re-chew it? I wanna change my vote.

@bcasiello Not really, unless you specifically requested it and any other cow features with the last option! It's really pretty arbitrary!

hegatherhohrnws Mar 13

@sinituulia who's voting no

@heatherhorns_lite Not everyone longs for the bovine life

hegatherhohrnws Mar 13

@sinituulia fools. stagnant cowards.

Я⊛ḶḶ model ☭Mar 13

@sinituulia

big, with horns AND a tail, yes, please!

@sinituulia

I couldn't smash the 'Make me BIG 🐂' fast enough. I long to be a Minotaur. I really feel like it's a lifestyle that I'm made for.

@TheBreadmonkey I'm sure you'd make a lovely Minotaur (Benotaur? Beigetaur? anyway) and you'd have a lovely time being one! Imagine the satisfaction of stomping around the place, being able to reach everything.

"Where's Ben?"
"Look for the horns"

JWcph, Radicalized By Decency Mar 13

@sinituulia @TheBreadmonkey - and just casually munching on a was of grass the whole time. Sign me up. 🦬

(yes, I know it's a buffalo emoji)

@jwcph Not all emojis are created equal, and the buffalo emoji just happens to be fucking fantastic

@TheBreadmonkey

JWcph, Radicalized By Decency Mar 13

@sinituulia @TheBreadmonkey Is that because you know the story? Because if not, prepare to love it even more 💛 👉 https://www.bisonemojipodcast.com/

1 Way To Make An Emoji (the bison emoji podcast)

@jwcph @sinituulia

@TheBreadmonkey @jwcph I have but the vaguest of memories of once having read about it, but... It's very very vague

JWcph, Radicalized By Decency Mar 13

@sinituulia @TheBreadmonkey The podcast is an absolute delight, highly recommend it 🥰

@sinituulia

mmrrroooooOOOOOOOOOooooooo

Scary Austin Mar 13

@TheBreadmonkey @sinituulia
And let's TALK about the part where they build a labyrinth around you so nobody can find you! 😍

bimmer Mar 13

@TheBreadmonkey @sinituulia I chose that option because I'd be a fetish buffet for mornin glory milking farm fans

@bimmer @TheBreadmonkey that's certainly a series of words that followed other words 😶

internetsdairy Mar 13

@bimmer @TheBreadmonkey @sinituulia I've just boosted this context unknown and am looking forward to journeying upthread

@internetsdairy @bimmer @TheBreadmonkey @sinituulia

Petra Mar 13

I find it is often best to not scroll upthread and leave it as a mystery

bstow Mar 13

@PetraPhoenix I am showing my solidarity with this comment by having no idea what it is referencing and being ok with that.

Ari "Two Foxes" Jackson Mar 13

@TheBreadmonkey @sinituulia the more beige big folks we get, the more we can become the Minotaur party! I'm in! I couldn't smash that radio button fast enough either.

Arratoon Mar 13

@TheBreadmonkey @sinituulia I wouldn’t mind being as strong as an ox, but maybe I could take Ozempic so I could still fit into my clothes?

Sini Tuulia Mar 14

@arratoon @TheBreadmonkey Sadly you'd still be the size of a house, tall and muscular, no matter what your padding percentage

Advanced Persistent Teapot Mar 13

@TheBreadmonkey @sinituulia you'd be like a Ben in a china shop

Advanced Persistent Teapot Mar 13

@TheBreadmonkey @sinituulia would you do the nose ring?

@http_error_418 @sinituulia

100% yes. I want one anyway but my wife said I am not allowed - or I am but I need to make some big lifestyle changes. Like not being married anymore.

there is beauty in simplicity Mar 13

@sinituulia I'd need one of those giant keyboards