Jerry 🦙💝🦙
I got an unironic report that an account has a bad aura. Now I’m not going to discount the possibility of this being true, but I’m curious how to measure whether an account’s aura has strayed too far from a good baseline aura.
Mar 7 at 6:25amWeb
Show threadJerry 🦙💝🦙Mar 7
“Sir, your aura is clocking in at a 13.5 and we’re gonna need you to bring it down to about a 3 if you want to stay. Thanks.”
Show thread64 Islands Aroha CooperativeMar 7
@jerry can i burst my aura tint? like, if i just need to vent about something?
Show threadcorqMar 7
@jerry
Show threadjbaggsMar 7
@jerry It's the flaring, isn't it? It sometimes gets a little bursty around the edges.
Show threadvMar 7
@jerry i was gonna make a joke about ai powered aurometers but then i realized they basically exist and they suck
Show threadLRMar 7
@NocturnalNessa @jerry "get the good aurometer, the one from the safe. 13.5? not great, not terrible."
Show thread𝙳𝚊𝚒𝚕𝚢 𝙵𝚒𝚜𝚑𝚠𝚛𝚊𝚙Mar 7

@jerry

I don't think it's related to this, but you never know.

Show threadDEY!Mar 7
@jerry soon bans incoming for all INTJ and Scorpios oh and Leos because fuck em
Show threadAmye Scavarda PerrinMar 7
@jerry i love this. Also, what?!
Show threadJerry 🦙💝🦙Mar 7
@amye I get to learn so many things
Show threadGhostOnTheHalfShellMar 7

@jerry

Don’t they have a rating agency for that stuff?

Show threadJerry 🦙💝🦙Mar 7
@GhostOnTheHalfShell I can’t find one so maybe it’s a business opportunity
Show threadCat 🐈🥗 (D.Burch) ⁠Mar 7
@jerry Aura farming too much aura or not enough?
Show threadJerry 🦙💝🦙Mar 7
@catsalad
Show threadtheruMar 7
@jerry you need to look at the account through a Quartz stone then you should be able to see it’s aura and determine if it’s bad.
Show threadOsma A 🇫🇮🇺🇦Mar 7
Some indeed say you can eyeball the aura quality through quartz, but the scientific method is to measure the total harmonic distortion of the quartz vibe in the presence of the aura.
@theru @jerry
Show threadDroppie [opensoc]Mar 7

@osma @jerry @theru

the scientific method is always best! 🤪

Show threadCarl_Mar 7

@jerry

Apparently it's super popular to just go with your feeling now...

Show threadJennifer Kayla | Theogrin 🦊Mar 7

@jerry

On the left: a bad aura. On the right, a good aura.

... wait, that's Au Ra.

Show threadAndy FletcherMar 7
@jerry I'd love to know their response if you ask them how they measured it other than just *feelings*.
Show threadpoleguy looking for lost toolsMar 7
@X31Andy @jerry fact based feelings.
Show threadjbaggsMar 7
@jerry Just so long as it has a good beat and you can dance to it, it's probably fine.
Show threadmahonyMar 7

@jerry
You need an AuraScope™️

https://shop.nbscopes.com/aurascope/

AuraScope

The largest kaleidoscope store in the world featuring the hand-made works of over 90 different artists.

Nellie Bly Kaleidoscopes
Show threadCyberFrogMar 7
@jerry it involves incense, your Pagan friends, and a ceremony
Show threadDroppie [farcebk] 🐨♀🌈🐧​🦘Mar 7
@jerry you need to plot all accounts in a formal statistical #ControlChart, in which you determine via statistical analysis the upper & lower control limits, which for instance you might set at mean aura + three std devs for the UCL, & ofc mean aura - three std devs for the LCL. then as the data keeps accruing over time, you note those accounts tending dangerously near the UCL or LCL, but you only need take official action once an account's data line has exceeded the UCL or LCL for seven consecutive samples, as that denotes statistically significant system change in that account. once identified, urgent decisive action is required by you, lest other accounts also get uppity [or lowerly].
Show threadJerry 🦙💝🦙Mar 7
@msdropbear42 It makes sense. Am I taking readings with a thermometer?
Show threadDroppie [farcebk] 🐨♀🌈🐧​🦘Mar 7
@jerry indeed yes, but also best practice would dictate also with a piezo-electric vibration transducer, coz in dangerous matters like these, it's "the vibe" that's really important!
Show threadSpace Catitude 🚀Mar 7

@jerry

...It's a special substance. You gotta pray for that, man...

Show threadFarce MajeureMar 7
@jerry
Show threadSam H (he/him)Mar 7
@vathpela @jerry
We have modern solutions these days damnit!
Show threadZachary CutlipMar 7
@jerry What are infosec.exchange’s community rules around bad auras? If someone with a bad aura signed up knowing bad auras are not allowed per instance rules against bad auras, your hands are tied ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Show threadJerry 🦙💝🦙Mar 7
@zcutlip see, that’s the other problem. I completely failed at accounting for auras when I created the instance rules. I have learned something today so will have to make some changes.
Show threadZachary CutlipMar 7
@jerry infosec.aura represents a fresh start and an ideal opportunity to put these difficult lessons into practice
Show threadmhr Mar 7
@jerry i'm sure the inquisition has some ideas on that topic
Show threadChristoff, the humanMar 7
@jerry curious if it is purple (almost famous reference)
Show threadVissMar 7
@jerry how many tasers you got?
Show threadMoritz DietzMar 7
@Viss @jerry I refrain from making any jokes about the Idiot at the helm and how you could also choose to simply act on feelings like him.
Show threadsabikMar 7
@jerry
My aura is 3M
Show threadMartin Boller     Mar 7
@jerry Auratic sciences.
Show threadIchinin   ✅🎯🙄Mar 7
@jerry you need a witchdoctor moderator.
Show threadtoldtheworldMar 7
@jerry someone I know pays to get his aura purified by phone.
Show threadJordi (Tubal Hippy)Mar 7

@jerry

CRYSTALS

I (produce clerk) had a customer barge into the backroom with her (scrying or dowsing) crystal to scan our broccoli to see if she could eat it, and yes, that's a true thing I said, no exaggeration whatsoever.

Show threadbjb  Mar 7

@jerry

Not much different than saying a codebase has a bad smell.

Show threadHacker MemesMar 7
@jerry may I offer my free aura rating service? 
Show threadGraham Sutherland / PolynomialMar 7
@jerry new CVSS score alternative just dropped
Show threadK. Reid Wightman  🌻  Mar 7
@gsuberland @jerry and here i thought AV:A was already for aura-vector attacks.
Show threadK.C. BuddMar 7
@jerry this report sounds like something my teenager would do and I'm sorry 😂
Show threadChuckMar 7
@jerry And how can you distinguish between an actually bad aura and chakra misalignment hmmm?
Show threadAlun JonesMar 7
@jerry take it for an auranalysis.
Show threadAdamMar 7
@jerry me, worrying that my account's aura is bad and I was the one that was reported.
Show threadJerry 🦙💝🦙Mar 7
@a2318 😂
Show threadCodey McCodefaceMar 8
@jerry It was a feeling, based on fact.
Show threadThomas =:-)Mar 8
@jerry @quixoticgeek well, is a bad aura against your server rules? If no, ¯\_(ツ)_/¯