ZouFeb 20
Szescstopni
The dream of most people on Twitter, Instagram, and such, is to have an enormous mansion in Florida. The dream of most people on Mastodon is to have a small decent house somewhere in a forest where it's not too hot.
Feb 19 at 10:16pmWeb
Show threadSteven ReedFeb 19
@Szescstopni
And goats. Don't forget the goats!
Show threadBrie MmmFeb 19
@srtcd424 @Szescstopni Feral dogs just ate one of my coworker's goats :/
Show threadSzescstopniFeb 19
@brie @srtcd424 I had to go and check #IdąPsięta's teeth. No sign of goat hair.
Show threadDavid Penfold Feb 20
@brie @srtcd424 @Szescstopni
That's the sort of reason why I had a livestock guardian dog along with goatzilla in my home in the woods 😎
Show threadLars BrinkhoffFeb 20
@srtcd424 @Szescstopni Substitute llamas, and you have Jeff Minter.
Show threadwoe2youFeb 21
@larsbrinkhoff @srtcd424 @Szescstopni Don't think he has any llamas (at the moment) but the sheep seem to be doing well.
Show threadChertridgeFeb 20
@srtcd424 @Szescstopni And Linux. Don't forget the Linux.
Show thread波鉄 (Hatetsu)Feb 19
@Szescstopni And there's public transport connections at least once an hour
Show threadSzescstopniFeb 19
@HaTetsu The only public transport that will ever come to my place will be an ambulance :)
Show threadChertridgeFeb 20
@Szescstopni @HaTetsu Hey. We resemble that remark.
Show threadJaKFeb 19
@Szescstopni oh, come on! Mediterranean is perfectly warm ;-)
Show threadSzescstopniFeb 19
@jak Right now? Yes :) A small house over Mediterranean is OK as a Masto dream.
Show threadSpace HoboFeb 19
@Szescstopni Also there need to be good public transport connections and accessible cycle paths.
Show threadrk: it’s hyphen-minus actuallyFeb 19

@Szescstopni

I want one of those tiny apartments that somehow manages to have three bedrooms in it in Manhattan. Once the kids move out we can downsize to one bedroom. How does one do this?

Show threadSzescstopniFeb 19
@rk No idea. I live in a forest in Easter Poland.
Show threadrk: it’s hyphen-minus actuallyFeb 19

@Szescstopni

…that would also be acceptable though I don’t speak Polish. I’d have to learn. That could be fun.

Show threadSzescstopniFeb 19
@rk A three bedroom apartment in Eastern Poland? Certainly much cheaper than in Manhattan. $100K is more than enough for a three bedroom house here.
Show threadPseudo NymFeb 19

@rk @Szescstopni

Be on a US TV sitcom with wacky neighbors.

Show threadrk: it’s hyphen-minus actuallyFeb 19

@pseudonym @Szescstopni

“I work as a barista at a coffee shop and live in an enormous apartment in Manhattan within a couple of blocks of Central Park! This is not suspicious at all.”

Show threadSzescstopniFeb 19
@rk @pseudonym I assume you might be referring to something I haven't heard about.
Show threadrk: it’s hyphen-minus actuallyFeb 19

@Szescstopni @pseudonym

Sorry yes. You have now been dragged into a distinctly American conversation, I apologize.

Show threadSzescstopniFeb 19
@rk No need to apologize. What's this story with a barista in a huge apartment? @pseudonym
Show threadrk: it’s hyphen-minus actuallyFeb 19

@Szescstopni @pseudonym

A lot of American television shows are set in New York City and feature “regular people with regular jobs” who would, in reality, never be able to afford an apartment like that in NYC without three roommates and a second job.

Show threadSzescstopniFeb 19
@rk Got it. Yes, tv shows are weird. The more "reality" they try to have the moire fantasy they contain. @pseudonym
Show thread🇨🇦 Little-kFeb 20
@Szescstopni @rk @pseudonym
I think he's talking about the sitcom 'Friends'
Show threadPseudo NymFeb 20

@OohOkayKay @Szescstopni @rk

Or US sitcoms in general, but Friends is a good exemplar.

3 bedroom apartment in NYC would be terrifically expensive, yet on TV shows, folks with modest jobs and wacky neighbors have huge apartments with no apparent source of income to support them.

It's just sort of a genre trope.

Show threadJTWFeb 20
@pseudonym @OohOkayKay @Szescstopni @rk IIRC in one of the final episodes of Friends they explain that the apartment was affordable because of rent control.
Show threadrk: it’s hyphen-minus actuallyFeb 19

@pseudonym @Szescstopni

(It is now that I wish to add that every job should pay enough to live in the city in which you work and I’d like it if this were somehow enforced.)

Show threadBillFeb 20

@rk @Szescstopni

Sell the kids for medical experiments? Blame Monty Python!

Show threadDavid ArnoldFeb 19
@Szescstopni and near a river
Show threadSzescstopniFeb 19
@__d That would be lovely. There's no river near my place. It's all bogs.
Show threaddisorderlyfFeb 19
@Szescstopni Honestly, my dream setup is being able to live out of like a van or a boat with a cabin so deep in a forest you have to drive off road for a few minutes to get to it to tend to a garden and a handful of animals.
Show threadChris Alemany🇺🇦🇨🇦🇪🇸Feb 19
@Szescstopni @paco true
Show threadFlaming CheetoFeb 20
@Szescstopni https://youtu.be/bb68owdlxl8
The Secret To Happiness by Andy Kaufman (as Latka in TAXI)

YouTube
Show threadAmgineFeb 20

@Szescstopni

<sigh> All I want is a #sailboat just big enough to get there, just small enough to handle single-handed…

Okay, I lied. I want some very very specific things. But it fits the other requirements, too.

A #sailor is neither a square peg or a round hole.

Show threadDDRFeb 20

@Szescstopni Me and my wife have managed to save up enough to buy half a duplex which backs on to a forest. So I guess it's true.

Out front, across the street, is the back half of a golf course. I don't play so it's just dead land to me and probably, like, 90% of all other living things around me.

Show threadSzescstopniFeb 20
@ddr That's great. But you're pointing me in the direction of the rabbit hole of research on the ecology of golf fields. Guess I might not come out of it for a while.
Show threadSzescstopniFeb 20
@ddr Just took a glance. First search results say golf fields are great for ecology. And they're SEO written by golf course businesses. This really sucks.
Show threadDDRFeb 20

@Szescstopni "They're made of environment!"

Find anything good?

Show threadSzescstopniFeb 20
@ddr Not yet. Maybe never will. Maybe I should research it and write something about. We'll see what road my mind will take.
Show threadRoss of OttawaFeb 20
@Szescstopni it's Canada – They all want to join us in a tiny, woodsy cabin with beavers tapping at the door, and the only ice is for curling and skating.
Show threadCrazyDogLadySezPEACEFeb 20
@ottaross @Szescstopni Yes, please! I want to move to Three Pines, lol. I’ll be the bookstore lady who does counseling in a pinch.
Show threadAware-wolfFeb 20

@Szescstopni

Legit, I have more than a few times said my dream house is a stone cottage just far enough from town that I became the basis of a local legend about a witch that eats children who don't go to sleep at their bedtime

Show threadKanaMaunaFeb 20

@Szescstopni

I just want a small beach shack on a remote tropical island. With WiFi. Is that too much to ask for?

Show threadSzescstopniFeb 20
@KanaMauna Wi-Fi on a remote tropical island won't be easy. Starlink, perhaps, but who knows when they start censoring anything that's nice and kind?
Show threadKanaMaunaFeb 20

@Szescstopni

Dude, let me dream.

Show threadSzescstopniFeb 20
@KanaMauna The new European satellites should be working soon.
Show threadgri573Feb 20
@Szescstopni @KanaMauna I mean, you can quite easily set up Wi-Fi, it's just connecting it to the internet that might be difficult
Show threadSzescstopniFeb 20
@gri573 I've learned that people use Wi-Fi as a synonym for Internet and I'm not going to fight this war. My Internet runs over Ethernet :) @KanaMauna
Show threadgri573Feb 20
@Szescstopni @KanaMauna ah, makes sense
Show threadKanaMaunaFeb 20

@gri573 @Szescstopni

Yeah, I was a little imprecise, but I was tooting one-handed while cooking and it seemed easier at the time.

Show threadSzescstopniFeb 20
@KanaMauna It's all right. We all understand. And cooking is much more important :) @gri573
Show threadgri573Feb 20
@Szescstopni @KanaMauna yes, absolutely! Looking back at my original toot, while it may be positive to some people, it is probably plainly annoying to some others due to nitpicking. I am hoping to find to find a balance between these two aspects, and am sorry about any annoyance caused. How did it come across?
Show threadSzescstopniFeb 20
@gri573 To me it was just funny. But I'm biased – my job is to provide Internet to people in difficult locations :) @KanaMauna
Show threadKanaMaunaFeb 21

@gri573 @Szescstopni

Don't worry, all's good.

Show threadJohn MaxwellFeb 20

@Szescstopni - Ahem. Super villain lair here.

(I want the lab, and I want the defensive perimeter so I don't ever have to deal with people.)

Show threadSzescstopniFeb 20
@jmax A lab sounds great. Though they're not very good in defence. But dogs are great. (Please don't experiment on labs in your lab)
Show threadJohn MaxwellFeb 20

@Szescstopni - No, I was raised by a Husky/Lab mix. I know better than to put one on guard duty; one treat and the intruder is in.

Although they will be announced. "More? More? More?..."

Show threadKim Possible Feb 20
@Szescstopni My previous next door neighbors moved TO Florida. I feel like if one has the opportunity, one should be moving OUT of Florida. Guess they like not being able to get house insurance in a hurricane state.
Show threadSzescstopniFeb 20
@kimlockhartga Always trust the actuaries.