Jon BanquerSep 16, 2024
Broadwaybabyto

When you become disabled - everyone will start suggesting fixes to you. People can’t comprehend the chronic nature of chronic illness.

Trying to accept that your life is forever changed is made harder by those constantly suggesting a magic cure will get you “back to before”.

When tempted to ask “have you tried yoga?” Please don’t. Take a breath. Realize we’re grieving the loss of our old life & body & trying to learn acceptance. You’re hindering that important process by making it seem like there’s a quick & easy fix.

Sit with us in our grief. Don’t try and fix us.

#chronicillness #acceptance #accommodations #spoonie #disability #ableism #mecfs #longcovid #support #disabilityrights #pots #mcas #health

Sep 16, 2024 at 7:56amWeb
Show threadCrazy PonySep 16, 2024

@broadwaybabyto This also applies to "invisible Disabilities" like autism

"normal" people constantly believe and suggest, or even demand, to make a therapy that "repairs" behaviour

Or in short words, i feel with you

Show threadBroadwaybabytoSep 16, 2024
@crazy_pony that’s a great point. I wish people could understand how offensive it is to suggest we need fixing. Just be with us. Ask how you can support us. That’s such a gift to have!
Show threadFried ChickenSep 16, 2024
@crazy_pony @broadwaybabyto Was just gonna say... I lost an otherwise good friend because he wouldn't stop telling me I could pray the autism away.
Show threadCrazy PonySep 16, 2024
@a_phlaming_phoenix @broadwaybabyto
Ouch, im so sorry
Show threadAndreSep 16, 2024
@broadwaybabyto as someone with disabilities since birth: I don’t grieve because of things I never had. But when I say I can’t do something, people who ask if I’ve tried that recently are not helping.
Show threadBroadwaybabytoSep 16, 2024
@ComPod do you find you still get a lot of people suggesting things for you to try? I found it happened the most in the first few years of my disability and then people slowly stopped asking (or I stopped talking to them lol)
Show threadAndreSep 16, 2024
@broadwaybabyto I haven’t met a lot of new people but I’d expect them to ask this kind of question. And if someone doesn’t understand a no, it helps not giving them a lot of opportunities to show they don’t get the meaning of „No.“
Show threadPaul ChernoffSep 16, 2024
@broadwaybabyto This also applies to people with dementia and other chronic diseases. As a caregiver you also hear about magical cures. My best response so far is “That's so interesting. Can you provide a reference to a peer reviewed double-blind study?”
Show threadPaperisiiliSep 16, 2024

@broadwaybabyto I wish I knew if mine is permanent. It may be, but there's still a chance that it turns out to be something fixable.

So instead of making my peace, I'm alternate between hope and despair. I guess it's still better than knowing you'll never be healthy again.

Show threadJohn GordonSep 16, 2024

@paperisiili @broadwaybabyto I recently had a disabling condition that was treated surgically with, to date, excellent results.

The despair/hope loop is normal and hard. Perhaps acceptance can be conditional.

Show threadMajnūn 🇺🇦Sep 16, 2024
@broadwaybabyto
❤️
Show threadDr. BlazingSep 16, 2024
@broadwaybabyto Yup, people love to act like it changes nothing and after a little meditation or yoga or whatever you'll suddenly be okay with it. Honestly most people don't get it at all until it happens to them.
Show threadNickSep 16, 2024
@broadwaybabyto Ive had this in a small way with Psoriasis. People often know of some miracle treatment that I know will at best put it into remission for a few months then never work again.
Show threadShoebillStork916Sep 16, 2024
@broadwaybabyto "sit with us in our grief" resonates. Resonates hard.
Show thread*quietSep 16, 2024
@broadwaybabyto When ppl do that to me, I take it as invitation to talk about the miracle cure of UBI and the social model of disability, which usually ends the convo pretty fast.
Show threadApple Annie Sep 16, 2024
@broadwaybabyto I’m watching someone do this to themselves. I can’t believe some of the things they are trying. I understand we all want a way out but cheap tricks aren’t the way and it’s sad to see such an otherwise intelligent person go there. Yet they’re still flying on planes without a mask while facing Long Covid.
Show threadBard  Sep 28, 2024
@broadwaybabyto I'm going to try and remember this when my young co-worker who broke his leg finally returns to work; thanks.