James
sam henri goldthe Nantucket Current has been chronicling the first cybertruck on the island and is making fun of them parking like a dick. this is the reason a free press is crucial to democracy.
there once was a douche from Nantucket,
who parked his new truck and said “fuck it.”
he tried off-roading on sand,
it got out of hand,
now his cybertruck’s stuck and can’t budge it.
Biggles 20X6!@samhenrigold with a cyber truck rust bucket,
He didn't understand that if you drive it on sand,
ground pressure and water will fuck it
He didn't understand that if you drive it on sand,
ground pressure and water will fuck it
André
keeps vis.social running@samhenrigold nailed it! Well done, and thanks for the smile.
okanogen VerminEnemyFromWithin@samhenrigold now his #WankPanzers stuck and can't budge it.
Elijah Yap@samhenrigold A man bought a truck in Nantucket,
His neighborhood wanted to chuck it,
Self drive level three
Go straight to the sea
And now it’s a sand castle bucket
His neighborhood wanted to chuck it,
Self drive level three
Go straight to the sea
And now it’s a sand castle bucket
Mare! Mare! Everywhere!Both of these poems are so great!
Nonya Bidniss 🥥🌴@samhenrigold Local reddit has been replete with stories of the local neon-green painted Cybertruck nicknamed "the booger" -- latest sighting had it on a towtruck 😂
Tom Magnanimous@Nonya_Bidniss @samhenrigold I have driven past the factory in Austin where they excrete these several times, and I've seen one moving under its own power (road test, I assume) and one broken down with traffic cones out (road test, subtype unsuccessful)
Jennifer@Nonya_Bidniss @samhenrigold in Alabama?? 😆
lopta@samhenrigold I'm sure salt air's going to do that thing the world of good. ;-P
Shark Attak@samhenrigold
"Rust-eze liked this post"
"Rust-eze liked this post"
Peter Skov Larsen ★
Why Not Zoidberg? 🦑"There Once Was a Truck In Nantucket..."
SFborn1940@samhenrigold Excuse me but I still have not figured what the "truck" part of the Cybertruck is. Is it the hole in the rear where a truck bed should be?
Where can I install a truck box to carry tools and stuff?
Where can I install a truck box to carry tools and stuff?
Craig JohnstonIt has a payload-bed and a tailgate.
I don't know off hand if general truck boxes will work? But then.. aren't most boxes model specific if you want actual fitment?
Let's be honest at least, It'll do most "truck" things.. (including stupidly getting stuck). It just.. is a really expensive odd way to do those things.
@ultravan372 Most boxes are similar in style but vary in width to fit the bed. They normally ride on the bed rails but that would not work with the Cybertruck.
RodneyPetersonTalentAgency
mrzarquon@samhenrigold nothing old money loves more than to drag on new money poseurs
Nicole ParsonsSociopaths are normally hard to identify.
They tend to out themselves in a crisis.
https://www.motherjones.com/kevin-drum/2020/10/covid-19-exposes-trumps-sociopathic-side-like-nothing-before-it/
However, there are always hints & red flags.
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-13196853/Sociopath-battling-personality-disorder.html
Is willingly owning a Tesla cybertruck a red flag?
CassandraVert
Emily K 
@samhenrigold he’s going to regret that beach parking. I bet it voids the warranty
BruceOnce upon a time, I was camping in Baja. The driver of a street VW bug decided that since dune buggies were made from them, he must be driving one. We pulled him out. A little later, he tried it again -- but with a running start. We suggested hiring a tow truck.
CassandraGiggling at this like a cartoon character, like genuinely going “hee hee hee, hee hee hee hee” at the chronicles of the Nantucket Cybertruck
Joel VanderWerfMeanwhile, Nantucketers are strolling past it, pointing, and yelling,
"Thar! She blows!"
@joelvanderwerf this was incredibly good and i hope you ride this high for as long as you can
toddbuddy@samhenrigold @toddo way to much mass to be able to go fast as fuck. Hopefully the insurance price reflects that fact.
Theriac@samhenrigold
Knowing the way salt water speeds up corrosion, I wouldn't have headed to the beach with it were I the kind of person to buy a wankpanzer.
Knowing the way salt water speeds up corrosion, I wouldn't have headed to the beach with it were I the kind of person to buy a wankpanzer.
Stéphanie@Theriac @samhenrigold If you had the insight not to bring your wankpanzer to the beach, you wouldn't've bought one in the first place.
@Stephanie @samhenrigold
my thoughts exactly - understanding reality and owning a wankpanzer are mutually exclusive lifestyles.
my thoughts exactly - understanding reality and owning a wankpanzer are mutually exclusive lifestyles.
CheDN@samhenrigold
There once was a truck from Nantucket
a dumb wanker's costly rustbucket
the cyber trash can
still sits on the sand
since his musky gearbox can't unstuckit
There once was a truck from Nantucket
a dumb wanker's costly rustbucket
the cyber trash can
still sits on the sand
since his musky gearbox can't unstuckit
oldguycrustyThat is one #Fugly #FuglyTruck
Menno@samhenrigold
Ooh. He took it to the beach.
I'm pretty sure he did the research on what salt(-water) does to stainless steel.
Good job, young man, good job!
Ooh. He took it to the beach.
I'm pretty sure he did the research on what salt(-water) does to stainless steel.
Good job, young man, good job!
Bc Clarity Carlton-Martin@samhenrigold You spelled *WankenPanzer wrong
NoctisEqui 🇺🇦🇵🇸🇪🇹🏳️🌈In a nice climate like Nantucket, with all its salty, sea air, the Monstrosity should begin rusting soon.
ArtemesiaIf a seagull shits on it, that voids the warranty.
Sloan Studio@samhenrigold I 100% judge people who buy these.
not a martian, honest
Mike Blake 🍉🇵🇸🇺🇦️⚧️@samhenrigold
There once was a truck in Nantucket
That was so crappy that any water would rust it
It was parked all over town by a total ass clown
sank in the sand, and became a rust bucket
There once was a truck in Nantucket
That was so crappy that any water would rust it
It was parked all over town by a total ass clown
sank in the sand, and became a rust bucket
Jima 
@samhenrigold @saraislet Based on the sticker (?) on the left side of the front/rear bumpers, I'm not confident these are even the same Cybertruck.
Which is kind of worse, I think?
Edit: LOL, nope, see replies — it's the same Cybertruck. (Thanks Sam!)
Insecurity Princess 🌈💖🔥@jima @samhenrigold it's an island, though, so wouldn't they have an exact count of cybertrucks?
@saraislet @samhenrigold The Steamship Authority? Absolutely. The Nantucket Current? 🤷🏽♂️
@jima @saraislet some people in the comments say he was parked outside of the police station for a little while so he might've been picking up the beach pass sticker?
@samhenrigold @jima amazing 🤦🏼♀️
@samhenrigold @saraislet Thank you, sir! I withdraw my doubt. 😂
aburka 🫣@samhenrigold There once was a new Truck of Cyber,
Its owner: a Nantucket driver.
Their parking got panned;
Now it's mired in sand,
More updates to come from your town crier.
Its owner: a Nantucket driver.
Their parking got panned;
Now it's mired in sand,
More updates to come from your town crier.
(moved)Galbinus Caeli 🌯@samhenrigold hey, at least it doesn't have gasoline and oil to pollute the waters when it washes out to sea.
Diabetic Heihachi#WankPanzer be Wankin' lol.
Mercurius Goldstein@samhenrigold
Weren’t all the cybertrucks recalled so they could replace the accelerator pedal with an incelerator?
Weren’t all the cybertrucks recalled so they could replace the accelerator pedal with an incelerator?
PedestrianError 
@samhenrigold Mackinac Island had a driver like that once. It inspired them to #BanCars. Just saying…
Matt Palmer@samhenrigold @jwz I'll bet their online subscription business has just seen a large uptick.
@samhenrigold hahahahaha 😂
mirabilos@samhenrigold hehe, karma…
Uli Kusterer (Not a kitteh)@samhenrigold @inferis That driver's such a numpty.
Rue Mohr
Ivan Sagalaev 
@samhenrigold oh please, what does that have to do with democracy? Was the truck a bribe for the governor or something? No, it's just some easy clicks in the absence of any useful ideas.
@isagalaev man you must be fun at parties.
@samhenrigold you have no idea... They don't call me anymore for some reason, but I don't care.