comfortJan 20, 2023
Low Quality Facts

I am trying to find my people on Mastodon. Can you please boost this if you:

-Believe that strawberries could be bigger and that farmers are simply not working hard enough to grow massive strawberries.
-Lie awake at night wondering if the trillions of insects will one day unite to overthrow the human race.
-Suspect that volcanoes are hiding something beneath all that magma.
-Find Tilda Swinton to be terrifying yet oddly attractive.
-Think that you could defeat 50 Smurfs in hand-to-hand combat.

Dec 29, 2022 at 7:06pmWeb
Show threadHammancheezDec 29, 2022
@lowqualityfacts the correct term for subterranean magma is smegma #science
Show threadLow Quality FactsDec 29, 2022
@hammancheez I sure wish it wasn't.
Show threadastralaegisDec 29, 2022
@hammancheez @lowqualityfacts
Show threadBig Hairy JackJan 19, 2023
@astralaegis @hammancheez @lowqualityfacts My late uncle died of Death. According to his holistic Doctor.
Show threadenmodo ⚛️ 🧬 🇺🇦 🍉Dec 30, 2022
@hammancheez @lowqualityfacts LOL, that's like a pop-sci Rick roll!
Show threadFive EighthsDec 29, 2022
@lowqualityfacts one Smurf at a time or all 50 Smurfs at once? This is important
Show threadLow Quality FactsDec 29, 2022
@Five_Eighths All at once, bring it on.
Show threadJo BFDec 29, 2022

@lowqualityfacts @Five_Eighths

Fezzik : I just figured why one Smurf gives me so much trouble.

Westley : Why is that...

...do you think?

Fezzik : Well, I haven't fought one Smurf for so long. I've been specialised in groups, battling gangs for local charities, that kind of thing.

Westley : Why should that make such a...

...difference?

Fezzik : You use different moves when you're fighting half a dozen Smurfs, than when you only have to be worried about one....

Show threadPusher Of Pixels (old account)Mar 26, 2023

@lowqualityfacts @Five_Eighths

Give me a paint sprayer and yellow paint and the smurfs won't stand a chance

Show threadWm.sonApr 11, 2023

@pixelpusher220 @lowqualityfacts @Five_Eighths

NO! Then they'll be Minions!

Show threadPusher Of Pixels (old account)Apr 11, 2023

@Sfwmson @lowqualityfacts @Five_Eighths

I was thinking then they'd be green and queasy and easy prey, but that does sorta put wrinkle into it

Show threadBig Hairy JackJan 19, 2023
@Five_Eighths @lowqualityfacts At last someone is asking the right questions!
Show threadSusan Dec 29, 2022
@lowqualityfacts exactly, where ARE the massive strawberries?
Show threadLow Quality FactsDec 29, 2022
@molecat I don't know but they should be in my stomach.
Show threadRiedlerJan 20, 2023
@molecat @lowqualityfacts I ate them all. sorry!
Show threadLaura 🏳️‍🌈May 14, 2023
@molecat @lowqualityfacts I prefer small strawberries because they taste better. Small and sweet. If reality is anything to go by, giant strawberries wouldn't taste of anything.
Show threadNick 'The Viking'Dec 29, 2022

@lowqualityfacts

I'm OK with Tilda and I'm on the fence re the smurfs, 50 is a lot.... but boosted anyway YOLO

Show threadLow Quality FactsDec 29, 2022
@nlarson830 I believe in you Nick, and I think it's about time you began to believe in yourself.
Show threadNick 'The Viking'Dec 29, 2022

@lowqualityfacts

Thanks!
OK, yeah, I could take the 50 smurfs.
I don't want to, but if they try and start something, it's ON!

Show threadAmyDec 30, 2022
@nlarson830 @lowqualityfacts don't you mean "it's smurfing ON"?
Show threadNick 'The Viking'Dec 30, 2022

@Qacdefeej @lowqualityfacts

Excellent! 😅

Show threadPhotoist♾️Dec 29, 2022
@lowqualityfacts
All of it, except the Smurf thing. That's just crazyness
Show threadLow Quality FactsDec 29, 2022
@Photoist That's exactly what the Smurfs want you to think.
Show threadfood in trainingDec 29, 2022
@lowqualityfacts i won't be boosting this, unfortunately 😔 farmers actually work extremely hard, year round even in many parts of the world, laboring in the shadows to keep strawberries from being any bigger. over the last several hundred years most cultural awareness of the dangers of strawberries has faded, but trust me when i say it's absolutely vital to keep them small enough to not develop predatory tendencies.
Show threadBeelzebabe667✅🇺🇦Dec 29, 2022

@lowqualityfacts
https://youtu.be/MorOaD61KUI

How I fell in love with the terrifying yet oddly attractive Tilda Swinton.

Orlando (1992) Theatrical Trailer

YouTube
Show threadSteffan ZieglerDec 29, 2022
@lowqualityfacts depends upon the smurf, TBH. I could beat 50 "Brainy" smurfs no prob, but 50 "Brawny" smurfs would give me a run for my money.
Show threadLow Quality FactsDec 29, 2022
@saint_monkey 50 different unique Smurfs, no clones allowed.
Show threadSteffan ZieglerDec 29, 2022
@lowqualityfacts hm i think i'm more scared of unspecified smurfs. There are stranger smurfs in heaven and earth, than are dreampt of in your philosophies.
Show threadkirkiscoolDec 29, 2022
@lowqualityfacts I watched a documentary about waste treatment plants and when they asked what they do with the solid waste after the water is cleaned they wouldnt answer and kicked them out. They followed a truck that was leaving to a fertilizer plant and then to a farm in New Jersey using the fertilizer for fruits and vegetables. Everyone said they were the best strawberries they'd ever had.
Show threadLow Quality FactsDec 29, 2022
@kirkiscool We must add this knowledge to the world's libraries so it is never forgotten.
Show threadWm.sonApr 11, 2023

@lowqualityfacts @kirkiscool

Once processed isn't poop poop? But I do worry about all the meds we take.

Show threadDulany-100B-v0.2-GPTQDec 29, 2022
@lowqualityfacts You had me at strawberries, lost me at insects. Insects are our friends! We should work with them to protect the Earth, secure caches of leaves for consumption, and worship the beetle god X'zz'eet'th. They are very clear - they don't want to harm us! 🪲🤗
Show threadLow Quality FactsDec 29, 2022
@dulanyw X'zz'eet'th must be stopped before it is too late.
Show threadRooftopJacksDec 29, 2022
@lowqualityfacts Sorry, with you on everything but the strawberries, so very wrong there!
Also this of course:
https://youtu.be/3i-Mcb9X0zA
Schlumpfeinheitsfront

YouTube
Show threadLow Quality FactsDec 29, 2022
@rooftopaxx Well, well, well, looks like I have a new favorite word.
Show threadRooftopJacksDec 29, 2022
@lowqualityfacts 'Einheitsfront'?
Show thread🇨🇦 SteveDec 29, 2022
@lowqualityfacts @gnomon I don’t know if this counts, but I think farmers should concentrate on smaller, sweeter strawberries. This race for bigger strawberries only makes for disappointing strawberries.
Show threadLow Quality FactsDec 29, 2022
@tewha @gnomon You are a madman Steve.
Show threadcn 🦇  💉💉🚀💉Dec 29, 2022
@lowqualityfacts @gnomon @tewha I prefer raspberry jam
Show thread🇨🇦 SteveDec 29, 2022

@cn @lowqualityfacts @gnomon raspberries make for better jam.

But a proper local strawberry, fresh and sweet, is one of the sexiest foods on the planet.

Show threadLog 🪵Jan 22, 2023
@tewha @lowqualityfacts @gnomon Let's go for a strawberry the size of a human heart. Sweet, but not *too* sweet--we don't want to end up with a Fragarian peach. And maybe the way to do that is to grow a strawberry the size of a human head, but tastes like weird celery or something, and then cross it back to a small sweet strain to get the flavor back.
Show thread🇨🇦 SteveJan 22, 2023
@log @lowqualityfacts @gnomon that sounds like an excellent plan, although could we maybe compare it to the size to a peach? That sounds a lot tastier.
Show threadLog 🪵Jan 22, 2023
@tewha @lowqualityfacts @gnomon [Gluing strawberry seeds to a particularly pink peach.] Shhh! I'm working on something.
Show threadMiss Foxy ShelbyDec 29, 2022
@lowqualityfacts almost everything, except that I think small strawberries (especially wil strawberries) more tasty.
Show threadLow Quality FactsDec 29, 2022
@FOxyShelby We will have to agree to disagree because you are out of your mind.
Show threadMiss Foxy ShelbyDec 29, 2022
@lowqualityfacts Did you ever taste these? https://tous-les-fruits.com/fraise-des-bois/
Fraise des bois | Tous les fruits

Tous les fruits –
Show threadKasiaDec 29, 2022
@lowqualityfacts buy strawberries from the farmer's market instead of a grocery store and check the difference!
Show threadJonah The ProphetDec 29, 2022
@lowqualityfacts Jesus this is such a relief. My family always thought I was mental for the strawberry thing.
Show threadLow Quality FactsDec 29, 2022
@jonahtheprophet Your family members are the mental ones Jonah.
Show threadLeif / Tyler 🏳️‍🌈Dec 29, 2022
@lowqualityfacts Sorry, but there's no way I could win against 50 Smurfs. They'd take my ass easily.
Show threadLow Quality FactsDec 29, 2022
@leif I will remember to not rely on you when the war begins.
Show threadLeif / Tyler 🏳️‍🌈Dec 29, 2022
@lowqualityfacts Now 50 toddlers on the other hand...
Show threadFab On A BikeDec 29, 2022
@lowqualityfacts Ok boosted. So what's the problem with those smurfs?
Show threadLow Quality FactsDec 29, 2022
@FabOnABike Nothing personal, I just think it's crucial to be prepared and to know your limits.
Show threadFab On A BikeDec 29, 2022
@lowqualityfacts Limit? Could be yes...you might need some help finish eating those strawberries and then no problem with the Smurfs
Show threadAimlessDec 29, 2022
@lowqualityfacts Gosh, where have you been all my life!
Show threadMoose Jolly HolcombDec 29, 2022
@lowqualityfacts pretty sure I could take on 50 smurfs but probably not 100, not quite sure where the cutoff is between those though.
Show threadTyrone JosephDec 29, 2022
@lowqualityfacts ok Gargamel
Show threadLow Quality FactsDec 29, 2022
@TyJoseph Gargamel was weak, I doubt he could take 8 smurfs at the same time.
Show threadTyrone JosephDec 29, 2022
@lowqualityfacts 😝