Mastodawn

Healing from trauma is crazy. It is unstable and it destabilises self and others.

Why? Because it requires me to grow beyond the "stable" pseudo-personality that the traumatising family-, cult- or societal systems pushed on me.

Society is sick and sickening, it causes trauma and dissociation. Then it tells us that WE are crazy, unstable, perhaps ridiculous and perhaps dangerous for doing what we need to do to heal. In order to truly heal, one HAS TO become even more crazy than before, as in more "unstable" in society's eyes. Less adjusted to its "stable" structures and demands.

I know, I know, the first step of trauma therapy is stabilisation. But what we want to be stable is stuff like having basic needs met, having housing and food and at least one stable, respectful and nurturing relationship. We DON'T need to stabilise the pseudo-personality! That's the crime of therapy that I'm rebelling against. They stabilise the wrong thing and they destabilise the wrong thing. They take away our agency to let our true self emerge and make choices.

It's like telling a caterpillar that emerging from its cocoon is "unstable" and pathological and that it should go back to the nice stable larval version of itself.

In my case, that was the version that is easily lead and that assimilates into existing systems. Not a threat.

But we deserve to destabilise the systems that did this to us. The families, cults, religions, therapies, states, capitalism - all of it. And that includes getting rid of the rules and beliefs and triggers and feelings that they installed inside us. Killing the cops in our heads. Killing the despotic parents, the double-standardised inner critic, the victim blamer in our heads.

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#trauma #TraumaRecovery #crazy #mad #MadLib #AbuseCulture #AbuseSurvivor #AbuseRecovery #VictimBlaming #RapeCulture #MentalHealth #crisis #resilience #anarchy #KillTheCopInYourHead

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Aurin (ki, ki, kis)Sep 22

Just in general, making a habit of breaking unjust rules is really good! Everyone should do it more! Kill the cop in your head! Be a rebel with a cause, the cause being to overcome misplaced obedience. With the state of the world as it is right now, the need to disobey false authorities (fascists, billionaires, drivers of climate change etc) has never been more urgent.

Start with a low risk level and work your way up. It's a good habit to just break social norms that aren't even written rules! Punks know what I mean. Some laws are unlikely to be enforced. Some things that are morally good but criminalised are easy to get away with. Some people have privileges that get them interesting opportunities... Think creatively.

Do. Act. Make the experience of breaking a "rule" and the world NOT ending! This can be something as small as going outside with total bedhair. Just go on a walk looking like a tramp if you don't usually (have to) do that. It can be freeing. Sleep in, be late to things you don't like, learn to dance around that line that'll get you in real trouble. Test things like that out.

Train that good good subversion muscle memory. Do what feels right to you instead of defaulting to what others expect or demand of you. Make that your way of life.

#antifa #AntiFascism #AntiCapitalism #activism #acab #KillTheCopInYourHead #rebellion #punk