I’m working through some feelings, and honestly I don’t even know why I’m sharing this other than I need to get it out, and I’m interested in the perspective of anyone who might have felt similar / had a comparative experience.
Firstly, medically, I am fine. I really am. I’ve felt rough for a couple of days but I’m tough as boots and I bounce back quick.
I’m type 1 #diabetic (over 30 years) and on Monday I accidentally injected 18 units of fast-acting #insulin instead of slow-acting. I would never normally take more than 4 units of fast in one go, ever. As you can imagine, my body wasn’t keen on this and I had a hypoglycaemic crisis which also caused me to go unconscious. A few hours later and after a truly ridiculous amount of glucose, I was “back to normal” as much as possible.
But in the event, it was terrifying. It wasn’t just a whoops, it was a holy shit. It was an all round bad time for everyone involved, including my family. And like, I’ve had this disease for almost all my life. I *know* that the thing I take to keep me alive can also have the reverse effect. I *know* it was a stupid mistake, but it was just a mistake. I’ve taken steps now to make sure it can’t happen again.
But my feelings about it are… weird. I’m grateful it was a short-term event and I came out okay. I’m grateful to the ambo people and the hospital who were kind and supportive. I love my family very, very much. I just feel so wonky about it all. To make such a small mistake that could have had such monumental consequences. Eugh. I am not sure how to unpack it and sit with it in a way that resolves it. My usual process is “acknowledge it, be thankful, get back on the horse”. Which I guess is really the only sensible way as I still need to inject every day and I can’t let it get in my head.
No platitudes please as not needed, but advice on managing my emotions so they don’t feel like spiky weasels would be super useful.