Parasocial

https://polymathparent.wordpress.com/2025/11/23/parasocial/

Third places

https://polymathparent.wordpress.com/2025/11/13/third-places/

Something I struggle with is correcting my wife. She just said she's only woken up after 10am a couple of times since the kid was born. It's been a couple of times in the past quarter and a couple dozen times since the kid was born.

I didn't correct her this time after a difficult effort at restraint. ("I won't say it. I won't say it. I won't say it.") But, my kid corrected her. The kid who doesn't really know time knows her mother has talked several times about getting up after 10 am.

#parenting #parentingyourself #fatherhood #dadblog #fatherhood

When our summer’s day is cancelled and melts away

Summer has arrived and the atmosphere has changed. People are excited to be outside socialising and it seems like every family is making the most of the warmth.

A heatwave was predicted to arrive for the weekend and I wanted to make the most out of the popular family area at Steel Space in City Square. The water fountains there are adored by kids.

I asked your mum where she would drop you off and pick you up. This way, I could organise and maximise our time by asking your grandma and Clive to meet us at City Square before handing you back to your mum at 4pm.

Last summer I had more time with you, but your mum has cut it back to 4pm. For many families their fun is barely starting while by 3:15 I’m having to get back towards the handover point.

Another disappointment

On Saturday your mum sent me a message to inform me you had had a rough night.

I’d spent the last couple of days making plans with family and working out the itinerary so I could keep you cool but also make the most of our time.

I went to various supermarkets to ensure I had lots of options for your lunch and afternoon snacks too. Watermelons were in high demand but I didn’t stop until I had one, so I could hydrate you with refreshing slices.

Stupid optimism

Yesterday, I went to a Elly’s BBQ who lives nearby. While I socialised, I had you on my mind and tried to be positive that you’d be better for our Sunday together.

Jenny baked a tasty cake so I asked her what she included, to make sure it was suitable for you, and brought some home for you to try.

The fridge was full of watermelon, I had all the ingredients ready for lunch and plenty of snacks. It was hard to sleep, I was eager to see you.

The dreaded message

I don’t know why I let myself get upset when I finally saw the message cancelling. I can’t even go up and visit you to look after you when you’re unwell.

The feeling of not seeing you arrests me. It took me hours to get myself together after trying to figure out how to fix this situation.

I know things will change somehow so I’m doing everything to make sure you will always have a happy welcoming home with me.

https://open.spotify.com/track/7vkCAgrDDv3AgRCXYJUUoD?si=a2c1cb2320aa45dd

I picked this song because it’s monotonous and repetitive. Just how this situation feels.

We’ll have our sunny days together

I’m fast losing the moments of having you run around naked in the sun, filled with joy and a huge smile – the one I love so much.

I’m thinking about our future, the next decade. We’ll have lots of lovely moments together. One day we’ll fall asleep in the park together. One day we’ll go camping together. I can’t wait. They will be some of my happiest moments in my life.

I’m sick and upset about losing so many precious moments, I hate it and just want to skip forward to when we can spend the day together and chat all day, without anything to worry us.

Please always know it wasn’t me not wanting to look after you when you were unwell. Your mum is doing everything she can to stop us having a relationship. I’m sorry everything is a mess.

I promise when you’re able to make the decision yourself, you’ll always have a home with me.

Listen through the podcast

https://open.spotify.com/episode/2dkIVglYeSeGEVfu0ttySn?si=LqSAEOM9Sse72q5woZ9L6A

#cancelledDay #dadBlog #dadLife #daughter #family #familyCourt #familyDiary #fatherSRights #fatherhood #heartbreak #hostileCoparent #missingYou #myGirl #myLove #parentalAlienation #parenting #summerIsHere #withoutYou

Back in family court fighting for you

I’m on the train home after a momentous day. It’s mid-afternoon with beautiful blue skies and people are wearing their short sleeve shirts and summer dresses. Maybe some of them were smart enough to take the day off, for an extra long weekend.

Today’s hearing

This week has been horrendous and my experience of the family court process is that it feels completely haphazard and unpredictable, which fades away hope for a good outcome for us.

At the hearing, I was placed in a heartbreaking position. Now your mum has created the status quo of you living in River Town, it’s realistically impossible that the court would force her to return to the Big City or even establish a workable coparenting arrangement. The only thing I’ve ever wanted is to parent you equally, 50/50 time with both parents and all our love.

I’ve tried so hard to make sense out of her reasoning for all of this. I will never understand why she’s doing everything to stop us having a proper relationship. Why does she hate the idea of you getting a kiss from me goodnight?

Remaining problems

I had to focus the issues at the hearing on when we would have time together and start overnights. Otherwise, your mum clearly wouldn’t let it happen for a long time and be rigid and create obstacles. So I can’t leave it up to her to decide.

I overheard her barrister refusing to negotiate, it sounded like your mum had already made this a red line.

I also couldn’t leave arrangements about your birthday for your mum to decide on. I want to be able to give you a cake, to give you a birthday kiss…

At the hearing, your mum refused to agree that I could have you on your birthday. She’s heartless.

What’s happening next

Although I tried to be practical, your mum completely refused to agree to when I could have you overnight and about your birthday, so the court’s help is still needed to resolve those issues. A further date has been set for early October.

We’ve lost so much time already, but before completely slipping through my fingers, I will keep fighting for you and I’ll keep building a happy home you will always feel safe at. I promise sweetheart.

I hope you never doubt my love for you.

Listen through the podcast

https://open.spotify.com/episode/1ryI8w9IcBc0eLJ1MHklkJ?si=T-hjqtsfQeOByIp0mMj__w

#childrenSRights #custodyBattle #dad #dadBlog #dadDiary #dadLife #daughter #emotional #familyCourt #familyLife #fatherSRights #fatherhood #fightingForYou #heartbreak #love #mentalHealth #missingYou #myBaby #myGirl #parentalAlienation

It’s -3 and freezing

I’m on my way to River Town, again. Your mum said there were problems with the trains this weekend so she wouldn’t travel to the Big City. We had agreed to switch locations recently but she hasn’t honoured that agreement. The trains are fine, I’m on one now.

‘Baby it’s cold outside’

The weather has dramatically turned for the worse. It’s now -3 during the day! I’m very concerned about what this will mean for the coming months. Being outside bouncing between museums and shops isn’t nice – we should be home.

Considering the extreme weather, I asked your mum to bring you to the Big City. So we could spend the day at home with family. Grandma, Clive and Pluto were keen to share some festive time with you. Your mum has a car, which is used regularly, so any issues with the trains shouldn’t impact the journey. Your mum refused and insisted I travel to River Town, which includes us doing a half-hour walk to the centre in freezing weather.

I’m trying to create happy moments together, but these days are really hard. I’m worried our time being made so difficult will result in you not wanting to spend time with me.

Your mum drives to the station to drop you off, then goes past as I push your buggy to the centre. Neither offering a lift or agreeing to meet at the centre.

Our day

I cooked your meal, an old favourite of salmon and sweet potatoes. The mashes and things that I’ve made for you recently don’t seem to take your interest so I’ll try this meal which you enjoyed in the past.

I think Nando’s will be one of the first chain restaurants towards the centre and although we haven’t been before I expect they will be little-one-friendly.

It’s become difficult to find good eateries for you as River Town is touristy and has lots of shops. Combined with bad weather this means most places are packed and less welcoming for us.

After lunch we can go to the shops and a museum.

I have my Christmas jumper on and I bought you a new musical toy.

Keeping warm

I picked you up at Nero across the road from the station, we were wrapped up to the max and I went on to Nando’s as planned.

You were asleep and I can understand it could be confusing to wake up in a new place. You woke surprised and got upset. Sometimes I feel you don’t remember me. I was able to settle you quickly, but the moment really hurt. It’s hard to know you don’t wake up and feel happy you’re with your loving dad.

Now you were up and comfortable, I could finally give your beautiful little face some kisses and get on with our day.

You loved your new toy. Both for the noise you could make, plus the feeling of the bells on your skin.

After eating we went around the corner to the shopping centre. It’s nearly Christmas and it was extremely busy. At the department store there was a Santa and his helper photo scene. I hoped you would enjoy the costumes but you hated it!

The rest of the day was a struggle. It wasn’t easy keeping you warm because naturally you wanted to be out and about but also, when in the buggy, wanted to hold your hands outside! I tried to find places between the station and the centre to minimise time outside but it was still far too cold.

Next week

As your mum isn’t letting us have Christmas together, she agreed to me seeing you in the Big City both days next weekend. There are train strikes on Saturday so I hope she will be driving and not cancel.

I’ve asked her to share details so we can make the most of our time, but she refuses. Everything is dictated and she doesn’t share info so it’s difficult for me to make plans.

I’d simply like to make things more comfortable for you. Depending on where you’re travelling I could adjust plans to minimise your travel time but I’m kept in the dark. All this seems to serve is to make it harder for us.

Thinking about our future

It’s almost Christmas, I’m hoping next year will be better. Perhaps we can have a snowfight next December.

Listen through the podcast

https://open.spotify.com/episode/7IILL79TCe0DPgF5zK5ICC?si=zaHsusCJTLeam-gAkxbKqQ

#Christmas #ChristmasPhotos #coldWeather #dad #dadBlog #dadLife #dadSunday #daddyBlog #difficultCoparent #emotions #family #familyDay #fatherBlog #fatherSRights #fatherhood #freezing #makingMemories #missingYou #myGirl #parentalAlienation #parenting #parentingStruggles #previousMoments #Santa #toddler #toddlerDad #winter #wrappedUp #Xmas #XmasPhotos